Wedding Etiquette # (I forget)

AKA4MJ · #1 05-03-2001, 10:51 AM

Ok Sorors and Sisterfriends I need your help, again. I am going to LA next week to make a final decision on a caterer and baker. I have been planning a buffet style reception, but Now considering a plated, sit-dwon dinner. The cost for either are about the same. Which one would you choose? And why? What do you like and what do you not like. Keep in mind that this an after 5 event and semi-formal.

AKAtude · #2 05-03-2001, 01:10 PM

If there really isn't much of a price difference, then I would go with the sit down dinner. I'm having a buffet style reception because it is less expensive, offers more choices, and tables take up more space decreasing the maximum capacity of the ball room. We are also having serving stations set up to serve shrimp and grits, pasta, and roast beef, ham, and turkey.

Discogoddess · #3 05-03-2001, 01:18 PM

I think weddings, as with anything, will have the level of elegance and sophistacation that the planners (bride, groom, consultant) bring to them. Having said that, we had a cocktail reception with HEAVY appetizers buffet for a semi-formal wedding, and there were no lines. The tables we used were the smaller, cabaret-type tables, to discourage people from sitting down and camping out too long. We had told everyone in advance that we anted to dance, party and mingle, so we set up the room for that purpose. The buffet wound around in a circle, so there was no line, and the DJ had the music pumping from word go. We (the wedding party) did not sit down for more than a minute, then we started mingling, to give everyone the hint to start partying.

With that said, soror, I think you have to choose whatever works for you. For me, a person who CANNOT STAND always following and being the same as everyone else, yet who loves certain traditions, I loved having a wedding reception that strayed from the norm, in an elegant, yet "undiscovered" location that not errbody and they mama had been to before, and that people are STILL talking about how much fun they had dancing, mixing and mingling at our party.

AKAtude · #4 05-03-2001, 01:21 PM

Eclipse and DG, how long did you and your grooms remain at your receptions?

Discogoddess · #5 05-03-2001, 01:30 PM

Unfortunately, Soror AKAtude, my new husband of several hours thought we needed to see the last guests out of the joint! I, however, was ready to move onto other newlywed activities about three hours into the reception. Of course, we shut down the place, staying until the last minute!

I personally think the couple should leave BEFORE the reception is over, to let people bid them farewell and leave their guests doing their thing. Make sure you arrange for transport of any gifts that wind up at the reception. Of course, take the $$$$$$$ with you! Or have your best man/maid or matron of honor/parent keep it.

Eclipse · #6 05-03-2001, 05:27 PM

AKAtude, Like Discogoddess and the Discogod (is he?? LOL), my hubby and I stayed until the bitter end. Our reception turned into a "stone cold jam" (yeah, I had to go there--we had a lot of 70s and 80s songs) and we partied our behinds off. It was soooo much fun which was exactly what we wanted. We did do the "fake leaving" thing though for our parents friends who did not want to leave before the bride and groom did. After the reception we went to our honeymoon suite, realized we were hungry, changed clothes and went across the street to the sports bar for some wings!

quietstorm23 · #7 05-04-2001, 12:38 AM

For the fact that it is an after 5 wedding, I would do the sit down dinner. Just a bit more elegant I believe.

Eclipse · #8 05-04-2001, 12:51 AM

When I got married 5 years ago, I had a sit down dinner. I always hated standing in those long lines at buffet weddings so I liked just being about to sit comfortably and be served. To me sit down dinners are more elegant and formal. The draw back, however is the lack of choices. I have seen people put meal choices on the response card (chicken, fish, beef kinda thing) and then put different color stars, dots, etc. on the place cards so that the servers will know who to serve what. I have also seen in those types of situations people look at what the next person order and say "Oooooo I want that!" Of course good caterers always fix extra so that should not be too much of a problem unless everybody wants to change and get the steak. My entree was "beef and chicken medallions" to give people somewhat of a choice and a veggie plate was available if anyone asked. One problem associated with sit down dinners w/ place cards is those people who show up without RSVPing. I had several of them at my wedding and of course they had no where to sit at first, although my caterer had set up a table for the "overflow". There were 6 people there so we immediately knew who had not RSVP'ed! LOL I also liked that dinner was a set time. With a buffet it seems to just go on and on and sometimes the bride and groom are cutting the cake when other folks are still standing in line to be served. I don't know how big your reception hall will be, but if you can, have several serving stations set up around the room. This takes up more space, but it really helps with the flow.

Hope this helps and congratulations on your upcoming wedding!!