Dirty Old Men

[Taualumna]

How much older does a guy have to be to be considered a "dirty old man"? I was at a party once, and a guy I know, who must be close to 40, was hitting on a girl who was probably 25 or 26. I've always considered him a little on the creepy side, and his constant hitting (especially on women under 30) just seems wrong at his age. Is he old enough to be an "old man"?

[Colonist]

Yes, yes he is

Originally posted by Taualumna
How much older does a guy have to be to be considered a "dirty old man"? I was at a party once, and a guy I know, who must be close to 40, was hitting on a girl who was probably 25 or 26. I've always considered him a little on the creepy side, and his constant hitting (especially on women under 30) just seems wrong at his age. Is he old enough to be an "old man"?

If he constantly makes an effort to hit on women that are young enough to be his daughters, then yes, he's creepy.

When I was 23 I dated Hanson, who was 38 at that time. There was nothing creepy about it -- he was a wonderful guy that I loved being with.

It shouldn't be up to society to determine who's "old" and who's not. It should be up to the person being hit on.

[Colonist]

Originally posted by OohTeenyWahine
If he constantly makes an effort to hit on women that are young enough to be his daughters, then yes, he's creepy.

When I was 23 I dated Hanson, who was 38 at that time. There was nothing creepy about it -- he was a wonderful guy that I loved being with.

It shouldn't be up to society to determine who's "old" and who's not. It should be up to the person being hit on.

To each their own...however older women should feel free to hit on younger guys

[winnieb]

I think it depends on the man and how he acts. If he is creepy then yes he would be a dirty old man; if he is nice and respectful man then no.
Although I do find it creepy when seeing a young girl (like 18) dressed slutty hanging off an old man's arm while he ogles her.
So, to answer your question I think it depends on the man's characteristics if he is considered a dirty old man!

-wendi

[Colonist]

true.

[James]

I have no data to support this observation but here it is anyway lol


Generally men are like 6-10 years less mature than women in terms of relationship skills . . . I think we might start catching up in our late twenties early thirties . . or maybe we never do

Men generally don't blink an eye at dating women significantly younger than them nor would our male-friends and male-peers be critical (unless we were jealous lol). They would actually tend to be really supportive. A really large age difference might get high-5's (40 versus 20).

Women generally don't date men significantly younger than themselves for whatever reason, and would tend to think the idea "strange". Also their female-peers may think it odd. So they will tend to judge men they don't know by that standard.

As they (women) would think it odd at age 30 to date a 20 year old man, so they think it odd that a 30 year old man would seek to date 20 year old women. Hence he is "creepy" just because he wants hits on the girl versus as OTW said being creepy because he acts like it.

I have noticed that women that grow up in a city or less concerned about the perception as well as women that either didn't go immediately to college or went to a college in a metropolitan area.

Of course I might be very wrong

[Taualumna]

Originally posted by James
I have no data to support this observation but here it is anyway lol


Generally men are like 6-10 years less mature than women in terms of relationship skills . . . I think we might start catching up in our late twenties early thirties . . or maybe we never do

Men generally don't blink an eye at dating women significantly younger than them nor would our male-friends and male-peers be critical (unless we were jealous lol). They would actually tend to be really supportive. A really large age difference might get high-5's (40 versus 20).

Women generally don't date men significantly younger than themselves for whatever reason, and would tend to think the idea "strange". Also their female-peers may think it odd. So they will tend to judge men they don't know by that standard.

As they (women) would think it odd at age 30 to date a 20 year old man, so they think it odd that a 30 year old man would seek to date 20 year old women. Hence he is "creepy" just because he wants hits on the girl versus as OTW said being creepy because he acts like it.

I have noticed that women that grow up in a city or less concerned about the perception as well as women that either didn't go immediately to college or went to a college in a metropolitan area.

Of course I might be very wrong

Yeah, but really, should a 40 year old man be hitting on a 25 year old woman? I know that I could have been very wrong, and the woman in question could be a young looking 30-something, but really, the 40 year old guy is always seen at events that are for those who are slightly younger. At 40, he should be settled (I have heard that he's never married). But then again, I'm not his mom, so I shouldn't be complaining!

[James]

Yes but thats what I am saying. There is a double standard on the way these things are perceived by men and women.

In male gender culture its perfectly acceptable and normal to hit on or date much younger women. It doesn't occasion much comment.

It occasions more comment when a woman would do it. (not that I care) so I think you are looking at it from a woman's point of view.

I am not saying he is not creepy lol . . its just that he's not intrinsically creepy just for hitting on her lol.

And as far as "shoulds and woulds" they are kind of arbitray as well social illusions.

Also a lot of who we date depends on our access to members of the opposite sex . . and I guess same sex lol. If he is always around younger girls. . . guess what his target is?

Men will generally hit on any available attractive female. He is not going to avoid hitting on an available female he finds attractive because of her age.

Originally posted by Taualumna
Yeah, but really, should a 40 year old man be hitting on a 25 year old woman? I know that I could have been very wrong, and the woman in question could be a young looking 30-something, but really, the 40 year old guy is always seen at events that are for those who are slightly younger. At 40, he should be settled (I have heard that he's never married). But then again, I'm not his mom, so I shouldn't be complaining!

[_Opi_]

He is a dirty old man if he is ogling the girls down. But then again, younger women dating older guys is not a phenomenon...but its those intense stares and leers than constantly send shivers of utter disgust down my spine...*yikes*

[smiley21]

this makes me think of this guy that comes into starbucks. he is always talking dirty to one of the female employees. he is a 40 something year old married man and he claims that his marriage is in trouble. he told the girl that she is his fantasy girl and he wants to be with her. mind you, she is gay but she did not want to tell him that. he started to literally get close to this other female worker today. it made her so uncomfortable. he comes in for a coffee every morning. i try in every way possible to avoid him but sometimes i can't. when he says hi to me, an uncomfortable chill goes down my spine. i feel sick cause he just has that perverted vibe around him. that is a dirty old man to me.

[James]

Well true lol . . . there is a fine line between eye contact and the piercing stare of a psychopath

Originally posted by _Opi_
He is a dirty old man if he is ogling the girls down. But then again, younger women dating older guys is not a phenomenon...but its those intense stares and leers than constantly send shivers of utter disgust down my spine...*yikes*

[AXJules]

I'm sorry, but the Creepy Old Guy is all about buying some random girl a pair of boobs, which in his twisted mind means she owes him a relationship.


Don't even try to tell me I'm wrong.

[valkyrie]

Originally posted by Taualumna
Yeah, but really, should a 40 year old man be hitting on a 25 year old woman? I know that I could have been very wrong, and the woman in question could be a young looking 30-something, but really, the 40 year old guy is always seen at events that are for those who are slightly younger. At 40, he should be settled (I have heard that he's never married). But then again, I'm not his mom, so I shouldn't be complaining!

I have to disagree. Just because you think that a 40 year old man should be "settled" (whatever that means) doesn't mean that he has to adjust his lifestyle to meet with your approval. I think that a 40 year old man should hit on whomever he darn well pleases, as long as he stops if it becomes clear that his interest is not returned. And anyway, 40 is not nearly old.

Why do you care, anyway?

[sororitygirl2]

I agree with Valkyrie, people should be free to express interest in whomever they please, as long as the person they are pursuing is of a legal age, that is.

Anyway, it's not a certain age that makes someone a "dirty old man" - it's just the way he behaves. There are "dirty young men" too.