Nudity in the Home

[serenity_24]

Hi Everybody,

Today I had a rather heated discussion with some people about good parenting skills, and the subject of being nude around your children came up. Everyone had something different to say. So, I thought I would ask you guys.

Do you think it is o.k. to let your children see you naked around the house?

[AKA2D '91]

keep it clean, peeps!

[Ania]

Oh Lord! I think children have enough on their mind!

[CodeBlue_R3]

Girl now you know your kids shouldn't see you naked in the house or anywhere, what are you trying to do scar them for life? lol just a little humor but what if the little boy sees his then sees his daddies and wonder why his isn't as big. Or what if the little kids sees the parent of the opposite sex and is attracted to there larger body parts-wouldnt that cause a psychological problem when they got older?

[CocoaCaramel]

First off let me say that I don't have any kids.
But I don't think seeing your parents bucket naked would cause any psychological or emotional scars. (unless they catch their parents in the act)
If young children see an adult naked, then by nature they are going to be curious. That's how a lot of children learn (at home). Not saying it's right, but not saying it's wrong. (no prior experience w/ kids) I just don't think kids look at that in a way that is unhealthy.

*in my grandmothers voice*
Bless their little hearts.

They are just curious about why do you have that and I don't and why is your bigger than mine. It's all in the way a parent handles it when/if it happens.

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"I don't know. you be the judge."
~Hits

[1 Woman of Virtue]

I hate to get culturally political...nah, no I don't. That's how God made me!

So getting culturally political and all , I think it depends on where you're from. In countries not like America (where the culture is extremely Puritanical) the naked body is seen as a part of nature. In Germany, we never had a problem going to the beach in *keep it clean, peeps!, shall we say, various stages of undress. That only became an issue when I moved to the States. Now it didn't matter what your body looked like. You could be svelte, or as big as a house, your body was just that. Yours. And as far as I know, the German children never suffered mental defects from the ah, *exposure* to their parents bodies...either in the house or in public.

[The Original Ape]

This is a deep topic.

With today's laws, parents BETTER use judgement here; or they could find themselves in jail with a label. I would have talks with my children about nudity, but I wouldn't voluntarily walk around nude or let them catch me nude. My talk with them would supplement the sex education courses offered in their schools.

[sweet aka]

Deep....Keep your clothes on in front of your kids. They are getting an eye full in the media anyway!! Educate,Educate,Educate!! lol.....

Originally posted by The Original Ape:
This is a deep topic.

With today's laws, parents BETTER use judgement here; or they could find themselves in jail with a label. I would have talks with my children about nudity, but I wouldn't voluntarily walk around nude or let them catch me nude. My talk with them would supplement the sex education courses offered in their schools.

[MSLADYAKA]

In my house I don't think it's appropriate for me to be seen nude in front of my child. For one I have a son a teenager for that matter and I don't feel comfortable being seen like that in front of him. I guess it boils down to a personal preference and I prefer to be covered up.

[silver]

I think alot would depend on the age of the child.I don't think it is a big deal if the child is small.However,if your child is a teenager,that is not okay.Could you imagine being a teenager coming home from school and walking in the door with a friend to see your naked mother or father sitting on the sofa watching television or reading?That would have scarred me for life.

[OhSoPrettyNikki]

Hmmmm this is a very interesting topic!

For obvious reasons this is a topic that will have various responses depending on the type of homes we were brought up in.
Personally I don't have a problem with a limited amount of nudity around children. I have a 5 yr old son which has seen me in my undergarments around the house. I don't beleive that I have done any psychological damage to him. In fact I am very open with him about the female body, answering all his questions intelligently. During potty training he was allowed to go into the bathroom with his father. Of course the obvious questions of size came up, and that was also addressed intelligently. If I had a daughter then she'd probably see my body in full nudity (who knows---haven't crossed this bridge yet!)

Out of natural curiousity my son asked questions about why women have certain features that men don't. He also wanted to know if it was okay to touch these parts. This is when parents should begin to educate children, especially males, about what is appropriate and what's not. How many of us women felt offended when little boys in our classes/neighborhoods/etc. tried to cop feels? The males on this forum can admit that by the time they have reached puberty they have probably already violated a girl physically. Education starts in the home and should be started early! Personally, if I had a daughter I would not want to hear that your 8 yr old son didn't know better or mean anything when he grabbed her buttock or breast! (whatever little she had)
My son, his father and I have also had the opportunity to discuss what is appropriate dress outside of the home, We have also had discussions on who should and shouldn't see you in your under garments, abuse, and good and bad touches. It may be posssible that some sexual abuse could be avoided or at least caught very early, if parents were more open with children.

Did you know that one main reason why sexual abuse continues is because children believe that they may have done something wrong, or are taught that these are issues not to be discussed? I feel better knowing that I have participated in educating my child and that he does not have to rely on street knowledge, especially on issues as important as this!

Now on the other hand one has to know the strenghts and weaknesses of their parenting skills. If you are not well versed or knowledgable, or just can't bring yourself to talk about sex, I suggest you enlist the help of a sex educator. We wouldn't want to confuse the child, now would we?

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"Don't hate me because I'm beautiful"

When da EAST is in da house....Oh my GOD!!!! DANGER!

[This message has been edited by OhSoPrettyNikki (edited April 17, 2001).]

[jazbri]

I guess it's in upbringing. My mother never hid her nudity to me; however, she was cautious around my brother.

I have two girls and yes they see me in all stages of dress. I don't think it causes any psychological trauma. They can intelligently answer what their body parts are without giving them 'nicknames'.

I believe that when we hide things from kids, we increase their curiosity about things.

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"Unless you know the road you've come down, you cannot know where you are going"
~Temme proverb, Sierre Leone~

[Miss. Mocha]

Personal opinion here, but I don't agree with it, for me, in my house.

Others who think it's cool should continue to do what they do.

Miss. Mocha

[MIDWESTDIVA]

Nudity does not equal sexuality folks.

I have a friend that told me during the first five years of her marriage, she wouldn't undress in front of her husband because she was embarrassed by her nude body. How sad. I also have a friend whose 90 year old grandmother died recently. Her youngest son bathed her everyday because she was unable to bathe herself.

When I have children, I'm going to make sure they see me in various degrees of undress for 2 reasons.

1. I don't want them to feel that the human body is something to be embarassed about.

2. In my golden years, the time may come when they have to bathe me or change my diapers and I don't want either of us to feel embarrassed about it.

There was an article in Essence magazine I believe sometime last year, about taking care of aging parents. One of the women interviewed said that in order to bathe her mother (or grandmother, I can't remember which) they took showers together. Her mother (or grandmother) was very embarrassed about being seen in the nude. Why? I'm sure she didn't feel embarrassed about bathing her daughter (or granddaughter) or changing her diapers when she was young. What is the difference?

I clearly remember bathing with my mother when I was a young child. I would hope that she would not have a problem with me bathing her or changing her clothes or depends or whatever else would have to be done, if she were not capable of doing these things herself.

As with everything else, this needs to be taught while they are still young. You can't teach your forty year old daughter or son not to be embarrassed by the sight of your naked body. That's a little bit too late.

[This message has been edited by MIDWESTDIVA (edited April 18, 2001).]

[serenity_24]

Wow, these are some great responses!

I especially agree with all those who said that seeing your parents nude is a teaching opportunity. Also, taking baths together with your young child is very nurturing and creates bonds. I can remember my mom my brother and I all in the tub together. Of course I was only 5, but those are things that I remember when I think of the happier times of my childhood.

I do believe, however, that there is a cut off period for boys to see their moms and girls to see their dads. (As a matter of fact, I haven't seen anyone address the daughter seeing her dad.)

But to say the least, I would rather my children experiment on me where I can give them educated answers, rather than some other child who probably knows less than my child does.