Hey Everyone!
Did you ever meet a kid that is just really hilarious? Well I have a 24-hour comicview living in the next bedroom! My 5 year old is so funny that he has me ROTFLMBAO!!!!
In one of our recent conversation Tre explained the Bible to me. He attends a Christian Private school, Helping him prepare for his Christian Ed midterm I was running through his questions (could you believe they expected him to know the whole book of Genesis) asking him things like what was created on which day. Finally I get to this question
Me: God created the flowers to make the world what?
Tre: Cute. You see Mommy flowers are for girls so they are cute. If I was a girl then I'd tell you that they were beautiful like the Bible said.
Me:When God created the world,it was what?
Tre:It was okay.
ME: What do you mean it's okay.
Tre: Well Mommy its only the world, he did okay. God said it was good, but I don't see anything good just a whole bunch of bad people. Probably if God didn't kick the Devil out of heaven everything would be good. But now he is down here with us and everything is bad. The Devil is probably in you right now. Sometimes he is in you when you hit me, right Mommy? Jesus had a good mother, her name was Mary she never hit him.
Me: Do I hit you for no reason?
Tre: No. Only when I do something wrong, but you know the devil made me do it and you never hit him. We can't even see him. He's probably here right now! He only goes away on Sundays when God is coming 'cause he scared.
Y'all I was laughing soooo hard that I forgot to correct my baby and tell him that when god created the world it was Good. The poor chile got that question wrong on his Midterm. My bad!
Here's another one: Once while driving on I95. Tre' unbuckles his seat belt and takes off his pants. I'm lookin in the rear view like WTF? "Boy what are you doin'"
He goes "I'm changing my underwear 'cause these boxers won't hold my penis in and it keeps touching my leg!" *the boy's face looks like he is in agony* So he puts on a pair of briefs and then says Mommy do you know that I have 2 balls in my penis? *Me looking surprised* I say "really". He says "yeah one day I woke up and they were in there. There's one on the left and one on the right. I guess that if I ever break my penis like you did yours. I can get a new one 2 more times! You must have broken yours 3 times.
I remember when you had to pee real bad and I was in the bathtub. I saw your penis was gone. Daddy said agina took the penis away from girls. Girls are lucky because penis's dont touch their legs.
Y'all I had to pull over to keep from crashing. My son is a trip for real.
I think I'm gonna tape him and get my baby a sitcom. One day he'll be thankful that his penis touched his leg at only 5.
Anyone else have any funny kid stories. I am dying to hear them!!
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"Don't hate me because I'm beautiful"
When da EAST is in da house....Oh my GOD!!!! DANGER!
The Bible as per Tre'
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