Bothersome Question

[Poplife]

I have a situation that is bugging the mess out me and I wanted to see what my SF's/AKA women thought about it.

Recently my friend made a statement that bothered me. During a conversation she *seriously* told me "If I hate someone, then all my Sorors betta hate them too."

Now I'm all for people (especially women) backing up their sistah's/sorors/whomevers, but I felt that this statement was rather immature.

I know that the word "SOROR" is Latin for sister and therefore a sorority is supposed to be like a group of sisters. But let’s get real for a second! Would you all really stop speaking to a person and/or stop being friends with a person because they are having some beef with your friend/soror?! Shoot! On my campus there are 52 AKA's...they ALL can't be friends with everybody. If they followed my friend’s theory, collectively I bet they'd have a problem with 25% of our general population. That's a lot of hatin'! *lol*

For me it depends on the size of the situation. If there was major disrespect or a physical encounter then I could certainly understand.

Please help me understand. I'm am too upset with this girl!



[This message has been edited by Poplife (edited April 03, 2001).]

[PositivelyAKA]

i woulnd't hate on someone just because my soror wasn't getting along with them, However if i know that someone is disrespecting my soror or causing her harm, then no i would not associate myself with them.

[NUPE4LIFE]

The friends I had before I crossed, are still my friends to this day. You have to be mature enough to know when you should sever ties in a friendship. I love Kappa with all of my heart, but unless one of my friends couldn't respect nor accept me in Kappa then I'd sever the ties. I mean I have friends that don't like fraternities and greek life but they respect me for being a member of one, and they say to each it's own. But for your friend to say what she said, was just plain stupid. I have some friends that I'm so close with that if a bruh tried to manipulate my relationship with them, then it'll be war and me and my frat would have a serious conversation about why they hate my friend. Either way, it wouldn't deter from friendship.

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KAPPA ALPHA PSI FRATERNITY, INC.
SPR 97
XI LAMBDA

[AKAtude]

Ditto.

Originally posted by PositivelyAKA:
i woulnd't hate on someone just because my soror wasn't getting along with them, However if i know that someone is disrespecting my soror or causing her harm, then no i would not associate myself with them.

[AKA_Monet]

As a graduate advisor I always have to tell my younger sorors to make a girl they don't like "their special project"--especially since the chapter is small. Some of these interests are skrait, downright ugly and petty to my younger sorors and we are always asking them to "turn the other cheek"...

However, do not be remiss to think that this doesn't go on in the corporate world... 'Cuz it does and it's not done by a one of your peers, it's by your collegues, superiors and managers!!! You'd be amazed who is really on your side. And usually is just you. The one's that act like they are on your side, have something to gain because they are... So in essence, that is where the greek life massively differs in some respects. Because one is forced to get along with others that they would never normally hang out with at jump and they are forced to make a cohesive group for the betterment of mankind to work...

[Queencece]

I know exactly what you are talking about. My friends and I are going through the same situation.


We are not apart of a sorority, but one of our ex-roommates is and she left on very bad terms. We were cool with everyone in her sorority and until this incident, they started to hate us.


We know it was because of what our ex-roommate told them and there is nothing that we can do about her or her sorority sisters hating because they never stopped to talk about it. It seems like they are following her suit of as earlier stated: If my soror hate them, then we do too.


My friends and I are praying that they at least learn to act their age and that and stop being so petty, but the bad part about it was that we were interested in her sorority until the incident, but now we are like forget it.


We know that what goes around comes around and she will get what she deserves in the end. Not only that, but God will see that his children are not let down.


Queencece

[This message has been edited by Queencece (edited April 03, 2001).]

[OhSoPrettyNikki]

I am not a member of a sorority, therfore I do not have any sorors. However, I am the second oldest of 7 sisters and If I didn't like or stopped speaking to everyone that they hated/dislike/what have you, I'd be one lonely individual.
On the other hand I have one particular sister that is my favorite. Growing up I fought ALL her battles. I would take her beatings and her punishments. It did come to the point where if she didn't like you, I'd have a definite problem with you. Particularly because everyone knew that I had her back, whether right or wrong. Now this is also the sister that I fought with the most. I knew she was a habitual liar and trouble maker. So I learned first hand that there was no point in making someone else's problems mine. I have since adopted this philosophy and stick by it.
So to answer your question, I believe that your friend is very narrow minded and childish. However we all learn from our mistakes. Hopefully her foolish thinking will not hurt in the end. It took a big altercation for me to learn that lesson. Thankfully I was still a child and not a young adult or adult. Ultimately all things come with maturity. Obviously our ages are no indication of our maturity levels. Now Pop, you are a very mature lady, so as the saying goes " I get by with a little help from my friends". As her friend I am sure she values your opinion and insight. Good luck!

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"Don't hate me because I'm beautiful"

When da EAST is in da house....Oh my GOD!!!! DANGER!

[This message has been edited by OhSoPrettyNikki (edited April 03, 2001).]

[nikki25]

That's such an interesting comment that was made by your associate. It's interesting how we often think that we have the power to manipulate situations and circumstances so that we come out favorably. This young woman obviously believes that she has power to affect her sorors, sisters, friends, etc. attitude toward someone else. No one really has that power...they may influence another person's action, but they can't actually make anyone do anything that they otherwise would not have.

It does display your friends lack of familiarity with human nature and the overall human experience. She will learn eventually. I think it's reasonable to conclude that her comments were an artifact of her inexperience. Life's much bigger than what she has made it out to be.

Perhaps it will be good for you both to consider the bigger picture involved here. In life, there will always be persons whom will oppose your opinions, workstyle, style, religion, political perspective, etc. Your response is truly what will matter the most. Will you choose to hang in, endure, and move forward? Or, will you choose to enlargen the issue by attaching frivilous non-issues to it all? In the process, you will have people watching who will side for or against you. Through it all, you must figure a strategy to stand in the midst of it all while still not being caught being slack.

Hope that helps.

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I will bless the Lord at ALL times His praise shall continually be in my mouth. (Psalms 34:1, KJV)

[Poplife]

Thanks everyone!