Advice on chapter drama!

[UKDaisy]

Okay, so everybody in my chapter wants the chapter to run "their" way! Which I know that if we were all presidents of our chapters we would do things different. But my girls keep saying, "next things will be different." or "when I'm ......insert leadership position.....things will be different". And that really hurts some of our officers feelings. So I don't know how to address that. People just back talk way too much. Is there anything I can do???

[PsychTau]

Have you done a chapter retreat that includes a chapter goal setting session? Maybe everyone in the chapter should sit down **not during a chapter meeting** and discuss 1. Strengths of the chapter 2. Weaknesses of the chapter 3. What they want to see changed in the chapter 4. What the chapter stands for (if I was on your campus, how would I describe your chapter? What's your image? Your norms?) 5. What goals they have for the chapter (where do you see your chapter in 6 months? 1 year? 5? 10?).

Take all of that information and create a plan for your chapter. Everyone is going to have to agree to let majority rule when making some of the decisions, but everyone should also agree to be flexible (i.e. I'll let you use your idea for X since you let me use my idea for Y). The key is that the exec board/officers don't make these decisions on what to do next. EVERYONE makes the decisions. Set up some goals, and then figure out the step by step actions that each member must take in order to move towards those goals.

If things are too tense/heated for the chapter officers to lead this, talk with someone from your university counseling center or other faculty member that is well versed in leadership and goal setting techniques. If they agree to lead this session, it may help to put everyone on neutral ground.

Hope this helps!!
PsychTau

[Rudey]

Align their individual goals with the group goals. Make them see that. Let them think they have options and came up with decisions on their own when you actually guided them down the path you wanted.

-Rudey

[PhiSigFly]

I have a very simple solution for you!

If someone says, next year, when I'm *insert position* things will be different, your reply should be: How will you make things different?
They will tell you things they would like to change and you should say, "That's a GREAT idea! Even though you aren't holding the position now, why don't you work on that and come to an executive board meeting when you have all the plans and we can work on holding that event, or implementing that plan, whatever it is.
If you do that, one of 2 things will happen:
1) The person will do what he/she said she was going to do and stop complaining
2) (And this one is most likely to happen) The person will not do anything but will never complain again!

IE Last year there was a sister in my chapter that complained to me about EVERYTHING (I'm the president of my chapter, by the way). Everything that anyone did, she could have done it better or faster. She would always complain about the sisterhood events and wanted to have an all night scavenger hunt and if she were sisterhood chair, that would be a huge event and the most fun event EVER! So I said, why don't you work on planning that and use the sisterhood committee to help you, just tell the sisterhood chair that I said that you need to plan a sisterhood. I told her to pick a date and get all the information together and to come to e-board when she knew the details. Well, not only did she not come to e-board, she never complained to me again!

[UKDaisy]

Thanks for your responses guys!

[jmuphigam]

a leadership quote that my chapter uses...its from Lao Tzu, the guy who wrote "the art of war"

"A leader is best...
Who talks little when his work is done.
A leader is best....
When people barely know he exists.
His aims fulfilled...
They will say we did this ourselves."

There tends to be a direct correlation between complaining the most and doing the least amount of work.

[Kevin]

Originally posted by jmuphigam
a leadership quote that my chapter uses...its from Lao Tzu, the guy who wrote "the art of war"

"A leader is best...
Who talks little when his work is done.
A leader is best....
When people barely know he exists.
His aims fulfilled...
They will say we did this ourselves."

There tends to be a direct correlation between complaining the most and doing the least amount of work.

I thought that was Sun Tzu?

[sairose]

Hey girl.

The next time a sister talks badly of another sister, tell her, "lets not talk badly about her. She's our sister." Something like that. Sisterhood needs to be emphasized.

[DolphinChicaDDD]

Originally posted by sairose
Hey girl.

The next time a sister talks badly of another sister, tell her, "lets not talk badly about her. She's our sister." Something like that. Sisterhood needs to be emphasized.

We kinda have an unoffical policy like this, left over from our Alpha Theta Phi days.
Its called the "No Talking Sh%t Policy".
Basically, if something is bothering us about one of our sisters, we stand up in meeting, and get it out in the open, in front of everyone, and work it out as a chapter. Usually, we speak about the problem, sometimes yell, but almost always end up crying and hugging.
I don't think it will work for all chapters, but it certianly does for ours...as well as baffle some visitors from EO (as I found out this summer...lol)

[sairose]

Also, you said everyone wants to run the chapter their way...

Have each officer look up her duties in your chapter procedures manual, or whatever you have. And go exactly by the book, so there can be no arguements about who is doing their job and who isn't.