Weekend Events

i'm hoping that someone could give me some help on this little problem i'm having. i'm in a sorority, and at the beginning of school every year we have a lot of parties every weekend for awhile. ok, to be honest a lot of drinking goes on and i do take part in it although i do try to be careful(no drinking and driving, and watching out for my sisters. and i ALWAYS make sure that i never drink in my letters b/c i respect my sorority and my sisters too much to do that. well, the problem is that i'm underage, and if my parents knew i was drinking they would freak out(like taking my license and ripping it up, and grounding me for the rest of my life which they have no right to do cuz i'm 19...but that's beside the point b/c i live at home and commute to school.)i try to spend the night somewhere else so my parents don't know what's going on but most of my highschool friends don't live close to me anymore b/c they went away to college. and when i ask my sisters if i can spend the night at the sorority house they always welcome me, but i feel so bad asking them to do that like evry weekend. i don't want to become a pest to them. if anyone has been in a situation like this before i would love to hear how you handled it. i know i could just sacrifice the drinking to make things a whole lot easier, but when most of the party is participating in drinking games it's not much fun to just sit and watch. i would love any advice on this. thanks so much.

[Gizmo]

RoseBud, I would not worry about asking your sorority sisters for a place to stay frequently.

My third year with my sorority, I was living at home with my parents and the distance is a good twenty-minute commute. Our chapter meetings are on Sunday evenings and at the time we were still have rather long meetings that were cutting into my sleeping schedule. I asked a sister if I could sleep on her floor on those nights that meetings went rather late. (We currently have no house.) It got to the point where I was staying there consistently every Sunday night for months.

I never felt unwelcome at her place even though she had to alter her schedule a little. (She requires much less sleep than I, and I do go to sleep very early.) But I knew that I was welcome any time that I needed to do so, because my sisters preferred that I be safe and not drive long distances when I am that sleepy. I am sure your sisters do not want you driving that late at night, whether or not you have been drinking.

If you are still worried about "being a pest" just sit down with them and make sure that you are not interferring with their activities. If you are in any way, I am sure they will be very willing to work it out with you.

As a side note, just make sure that you are drinking in a responsible manner especially since your parents don't know that you are doing it. Years from now it will slip out in front of them. But if you drink responsibly from the beginning, they will only be disappointed that you felt it necessary to keep the information from them. I am lucky. My parents encouraged me to try drinking at home, with them or in their presence or with my siblings, just to insure that my first experiences were in a safe situation. They were pretty shocked that I chose to wait until I was of age to drink and I don't drink often.

Eden

Alpha Sigma Kappa
Women in Technical Studies

[SIUAGD]

I have a question- does your chapter have a house where any sister can live or do you not have one? If you do, the simplest answer would be to move in! But if that's not possible, I'd talk to your parents. Mine know that I drink now that I'm in college and appreciate the fact that I'm responsible and am around my sisters- we provide a safety net for each other. If that's not an option, talk to your sisters. They probably don't mind if you stay on the weekends, but just ask to make sure if you are feeling uncomfortable. We have a house(its like a dorm, but ours) and we have sisters who don't live there. I'd much rather have someone sleep on my floor than not go out with us or try to drive home drunk. I'm sure your sisters probably feel the same.

[Wynna]

Is this a common practice? Do sorority members actually issue you drinks and condone your drinking even though you are underage? Isn't this illegal? I guess no one else sees a problem with this.

[Tiara98]

Originally posted by Wynna:
Is this a common practice? Do sorority members actually issue you drinks and condone your drinking even though you are underage? Isn't this illegal? I guess no one else sees a problem with this.

I wouldn't say that there isn't a problem with this or that it's condoned. Maybe it's accepted more readily than it should be. But for a lot of people, it's part of college life.

I will be 21 in a few months, and am tired of the excessive drinking that was so much fun for me in my younger days.

Between my junior year of high school and the first semester of my second year of college, I probably drank more than I will match during the rest of my life. My first year of school, I was drunk every Friday and Saturday night and sometimes during the week (I had a 3.3 that year).

I'm not especially proud of that, but I did it. And I think it's good that I 'got it out of my system' so to speak. I was always honest with my parents, who definitely did not condone these actions, but appreciated my openness and honesty. Although I met a lot of people at parties, I took all of the precautions I could and always had good friends whom I trusted with me.

Some people can't be completely honest with their parents, or at least don't feel that they can be. If my parent's had threatened to cut off money for college or take away my car, for example, communication that I consider so important would have ended abruptly. I would have gone all-out to make them think that I was a saint.

Rosebud: These are your SISTERS! I don't thik moving in with them is a bad idea, but if this isn't possible, I'm sure that they would MUCH rather have you around and alive than having to stay home or risking your life driving drunk. Would you let them crash at your place? Of course. As long as you're a good guest who reciprocates their kindness when and how you're able, it should be OK.

------------------
Amanda M.
Secretary/Social Chair
Theta Sigma Alpha,Towson University

[RUgreek]

I don't see anything wrong with underage drinking in college, but I do believe it is a problem if the reasons are peer pressure. I would never support "well everyone else is doing it, why don't I" argument when it comes to alcohol and drugs. I think alcohol is a part of the social atmosphere, whether you are greek or not. It has been for many years, and even though the drinking age was switched to 21 more recently in America, that doesn't change much. This happens to be a common practice at many colleges, but I wouldn't call it a serious problem.

RUgreek

[Wynna]

That's pretty sad!

Originally posted by RUgreek:
I don't see anything wrong with underage drinking in college, but I do believe it is a problem if the reasons are peer pressure. I would never support "well everyone else is doing it, why don't I" argument when it comes to alcohol and drugs. I think alcohol is a part of the social atmosphere, whether you are greek or not. It has been for many years, and even though the drinking age was switched to 21 more recently in America, that doesn't change much. This happens to be a common practice at many colleges, but I wouldn't call it a serious problem.

RUgreek

[DGirl]

Rosebud,
On bid day we hang a huge sign in front of our house that says "WELCOME HOME". That's because it's not just a house but a place that will be your home even if you don't offically live there. Of course for financial reasons, we can't let the women who don't live in to do things like eat every meal there or have other privilages if they are not paying rent for the house like the rest of us. However, these are your sisters and if they are aware of your situation then I can't understand a good reason why they should care if you crash on their floor. They can certainly rotate where you sleep so it's not a weekly thing for anyone. I might also help you feel comfortable if you stay other non-party nights just to hang out, watch movies, talk, ect. After all, your sisters are supposed to be more than just your drinking buddies!

ps-Hey Whine-a are you for real?

[NoLongerGreek]

Originally posted by Wynna:
Is this a common practice? Do sorority members actually issue you drinks and condone your drinking even though you are underage? Isn't this illegal? I guess no one else sees a problem with this.

I see a major problem with this practice. It happens on other campuses more than others, and is part of the reason that I am "NoLongerGreek".