How do you pick yourself up when you disappoint yourself

kappaloo · #1 10-17-2003, 01:21 AM

Today, I got back two assignments. I got 57% on one and 70% on the other. They are both about 15% lower than expected and 20% lower than desired for the course.

I find myself beating myself up over them. I just keep thinking had I started early... read more... did more work; I could have met my goals. Even worse I keep telling myself that I can't do better - that I'm just not smart enough and I'll keep disappointing myself. Why try?

I know it's irrational, but these are my thoughts - how do you pick yourself up when you're down? I need some help...

CarolinaCutie · #2 10-17-2003, 01:42 AM

I go shopping... probably not the most healthy pick-me-up for my credit cards, but nothing puts a smile on my face like new stuff.

MeLikey · #3 10-17-2003, 08:24 AM

Yeah shopping works for me too. But I've gotten back exams and have been like, wtf, I thought I did so good?! I don't really beat myself up about it... while I know grades are important, I know that there are a lot more important things to life. I guess my whole thing is, I catch myself now when I say life sucks because (whatever happened, whether it be grades or whatever) no matter what, you're still alive and well, and there are so many other people who aren't. I don't know if that helps, but that's been my outlook.

bethany1982 · #4 10-17-2003, 09:41 AM

Shopping works for me too. Don't beat yourself up. If you really could have started eariler, read more, whatever, then work on doing those things next time. Now go to the mall... have some shots with a friend... call home... smile...

phisigduchesscv · #5 10-27-2003, 03:10 AM

One thing that might help is to go talk to the professors and get their feedback on the papers. Don't go by just what is written on the papers see what they have to add to it when talking to you. It also shows the professor you are really trying in the course.

for the next paper write up a rough draft and then take it to the professor to see if you're on the right track. Most professors I know are willing to help you out.

GeekyPenguin · #6 10-27-2003, 01:51 PM

I would definitely go talk to your profs...I did horribly on one of my papers and went to talk to him about it - he explained to me what I did wrong and gave me a chance to redo it for a little additional credit - it brought my grade all the way up to a BC!

Eirene_DGP · #7 10-29-2003, 12:09 PM

I always tell myself I will do better next time. You have at least the final and maybe another project and/or assignment that you can use to pull your grade up. Some professors will give you whatever grade you make on the final if you talk to them and explain why you bombed the last test and you need another chance.

moe.ron · #8 11-03-2003, 06:45 AM

Do some meditation and yoga. Always calms me down back when I was an undergrad. Still the same now when I have a stressfull day at work.

KillarneyRose · #9 11-03-2003, 05:21 PM

Put the whole mess out of your mind for 24 hours, then pull yourself together and resolve to do better on the next test/ assignment.

You're certainly not dumb; I can barely pronounce your minor you wrote about in that other post!

krazy · #10 11-18-2003, 02:13 PM

Chug some PBR and call it a year...

MareImbrium · #11 12-08-2003, 10:42 PM

I call up a friend who I know will instantly cheer me up. Or I treat myself to something whether it's food, a new toy, movie or library sprees, etc.

texas*princess · #12 12-11-2003, 08:19 PM

I wanted to chime in on this thread because I just KNOW I did horrible on my Finance final... and I'll have to take it AGAIN before I can graduate. I honestly feel like a complete idiot. I went over all my old exams, and tried to cram as much info as possible on our allowed sheet for the final, and somehow, everything I put on the sheet didn't even come up on the final, and I guess everything I couldn't fit in was on the exam. Unless I guessed 20% of the answers right, I am pretty much a goner in that class

mu_agd · #13 12-12-2003, 10:39 AM

i usually would call my father first for a little pep talk. he always had a way of making me realize that it wasn't as bad as i thought it was. after that i would give it a day and think things over and then go talk to the professor with questions i had and find out how to correct what i had done wrong. and i'd usually make myself a nice big frozen mudslide to drink while thinking things through!

thetanustew · #14 12-12-2003, 01:27 PM

Listen to what you are saying to yourself first, and then take the advice of the other posters.

One of them said that if you really could read more, start studying earlier, and so on then that is what you should do. The first thing to do is to have a realistic look at why you did so poorly. Once you have the real reason clear, then start on the other pick-me-ups and prevent-this-from-happening-agains...

Once you have the problem identified, talk to someone who will boost your spirits. Getting a bad grade does not mean you are a horrible, wretched person. It means you did horribly and wretchedly on an assignment. Talk to someone who loves you no matter what and will remind you of that!

Definitely go talk to your professor, and when you do, go in with specific questions that show you have really thought about the issue, not just the grade. I love it when students take the initiative for their own work, but I hate it when they come to my office and ask questions like "What can I do to get a B?" My answer is usually something like "Read everything that is assigned, come to and participate in class, and ask questions when you don't understand things. In other words, be prepared before your tests and papers so that you don't have to come to me afterwords asking what you can do to make up what you have already messed up." When students come with genuine concerns, ideas for improvement, and serious questions, I am much more happy to help them out than when they come to me essentially asking me to bail them out of something they got themselves into.

Once you have figured out the problem, talked to someone who will remind you that you are okay and bombing a test does not devalue you as a person, and spoken with your professor so that you have a plan of action so that she knows you are serious and that you are sincerely trying to do well in the class for reasons beyond just wanting an A, then I would DEFINITELY say go do something that you enjoy to remind you that there are things in life that matter more than the grade you got in one course, one semester, out of four years in college.

I know some of this is repetition of advice given earlier. Much of that advice was excellent! I just wanted to reiterate it from a professor's point of view.

Cheers,
Dr. S