does NO ever mean YES?

stoplook_listen · #1 11-07-2003, 09:47 PM

Fellas....how many of yawl ever been in a situation where you have a girl in your room, and yawl kissin n carrying on. Next thing you know you got this chic butt naked, rubbin and exploring..etc etc....then you reach for the drawers and she says 'no'. Disappointed you stop with all the action and chill....then she starts kissin on you and rubbing and putting your hands on her chest....so you continue the action of kissin..rubbing..exploring...start noticing that she's getting moist...and attend to that. You hear her excitement in her breathing....so you go for the drawers...again and she says 'no'. So then you stop action again...scoot away and everything....then she starts playing with your 3rd leg....kissin on you putting your hands on her body again....bewildered (but thirsty)...you AGAIN resume the action..blah blah blah...go for the drawers...and she says 'no'. Fustrated you get up and say whats the deal. She tells you 'I want you, but it's too soon to go all the way...I don't want you to think I'm a Ho...or nothin...I can't give it up. You think to yourself....'what the hell is she talkin about....she don't want me to think she's a Ho...but she's butt naked in my bed! Rubbin and touchin on me'. Because you are still thirsty....you tell her....that you woun't think she's a Ho..and it's cool to go all the way. You try and convince her to go all the way...but she says she dont think thats a good idea....so you leave it alone and say OK. Then yawl chill....then she starts kissin and rubbing on you again. You say...hold up. I thought you didn't wanna do nothin. She say's I don't. Then she continues kissn, rubbn, and put your hands on her body. You just go with the flow...and she (noticing you not going for the drawers) puts your hands btwn her thighs. Confused...but thinking in your mind she's hot she wants it....you go for the drawers again....she says 'no'...so you stop Again. YOu go thru this cycle one more time....but this last time, she lets you slide of her drawers....and then things go down according to plan. She lets you do your thing.
Afterwards, you are bewildered as to how things played out.

QUESTION:
Is this considered rape?
Has any body else been in a situation like that, or know some woman who's done that?
Women, why do other women do that?

Maybe it's just me, but I've been in this situation a couple of times and I wonder....why some women would play games like that in light of the possibliity of rape.

Stop! Look! Listen!

Strive · #2 11-07-2003, 11:06 PM

No means no.

But I'm kind of confused every time she said no you were going to the drawer. Was she saying No, don't go in to the drawer or was she saying no, don't stopped.

You need to get that cleared up. Because if she was saying no to you going to the drawer to get your condom, then you need to drop her like a hot potato.

Because if you didn't go for the drawer, you probably would have had made love to her.

But before I leave let me thank you for having the heart to try to get the condom. Many men don't do this.

1savvydiva · #3 11-07-2003, 11:45 PM

Actually, the way I read it...he said 'drawers' (slang for panties). I guess he was saying he was going for the 'drawers' to pull them off.

At any rate No means No...this shouldn't even be a discussion.

You asked a similar question a while back...why is this of such interest to you...you can't get any willing participants?

RedefinedDiva · #4 11-08-2003, 12:00 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Strive
No means no.

But I'm kind of confused every time she said no you were going to the drawer. Was she saying No, don't go in to the drawer or was she saying no, don't stopped.

You need to get that cleared up. Because if she was saying no to you going to the drawer to get your condom, then you need to drop her like a hot potato.

Because if you didn't go for the drawer, you probably would have had made love to her.

But before I leave let me thank you for having the heart to try to get the condom. Many men don't do this.

Strive, he isn't saying that he is going to the "drawer" for a condom. He's saying that he is going for the drawers, or as they say down South "drawls" (as in panties).

There are so many problems in that story. How are you "going for the drawers" when you say that she is butt naked? As she continues to say no, why do you continue to allow yourself to be in that compromising position? Why PRESSURE this girl to have sex? You tried to squash her fears of being labeled as a "ho" by continuing to convince her that she might as well do it.

On so many levels, that whole story is a mess. At any rate, no means no and that's that.

RedefinedDiva · #5 11-08-2003, 12:02 AM

My sistahdiva must have been posting the same time I was!

And yes, this topic is popping up too frequently. Once is one more than we need to know about.

stoplook_listen · #6 11-08-2003, 01:59 PM

Savvy & Refined,

I apologize if this topic is offensive to you. Rape situations is a hot topic again in light of the Kobe case.

I'm just trying to gain understanding into the mind of some women. The story was general...but has happened to me a little to many times to be coincidental. Its basically: I have a girl with her clothes off...or almost completely off, and we're both touching and getting hot & heavy. I go to put it in, and she says no. I obey, and back up off her. SHE then starts touching and rubbing on ME in a sexual way

. I think she changed her mind so I participate, go to put it in, and she say no again...so I obey again. etc. etc.etc...Then she finally lets me do my thing.
The issue is if she doesn't want to have sex, why is she touching on me and kissing me in a sexual way? Why is she naked? I don't understand it. I assume she wants it, but is unsure...so I say things to make her feel like its OK...finally I convince her...I guess. I just wanted to know if any women had any insight into this behavior...maybe some have done this to guys...or know girls who do it.
The only reason I didn't bounce in these situations is because I was 'thirsty' and really hot and excited. Thats just being honest. If I knew in advance that things would play out like that, I wouldn't have even bothered with these women.

P.S. If this topic is uninteresting to anyone...you aren't obligated to respond

ladyjag99 · #7 11-08-2003, 02:47 PM

My strong suggestion: Next time you meet a woman like that, take her "NO" seriously, hop out of bed, put your clothes on and either take 5 minutes off to "cool down" or get to steppin'. Better she stays in bed horny and alone than bring you in court on rape charges because she couldn't make up her mind. Better that the mood gets broken than you possibly arrested or imprisioned.

Ask her what she wants and get it laid out in black and white -- easier to do this when one of you is not in the bed. If she's still unsure, it's probably best to leave, no matter how frustrated you may get or how close you were. And under NO circumstances try to "convince" her. Most willing participants don't need "convincing."

Some women simply have a pathological need to feel desired and tease other men in this manner. These are very dangerous women to be playing with. Like I said, there are other willing participants that don't need convincing of any kind.

Women who do this: please don't. If something goes wrong and it turns into rape, you will have a hard time proving it in court, especially if you keep saying "no" and your actions indicate otherwise. Be thankful if you're with a man who listens to your "No" and backs off -- many don't.

ClassyLady · #8 11-08-2003, 03:43 PM

Why don't you just ask your female friends what they are willing to do? That way there is absolutely no confusion between the two parties. It may be that these girls do not want to have intercourse but still want some kind of sexual contact. The next time you are in a situation like this and the girl starts sending you mixed signals stop and ask her exactly what she wants from you.

It may sound "unsexy" or not in the moment, but you have to protect yourself. You don't want to get caught up in some drama just because you didn't know what she really wanted to do.

To answer your question, no NEVER means yes.

Strive · #9 11-09-2003, 01:17 AM

Communication problems. I thought he was going to the drawer for his condom, not her drawers.

Didn't he say she was butt naked?

ClassyLady · #10 11-10-2003, 06:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by huggy bear
Try telling her how beautiful she is and if that doesn't work tell her you love her. Dat chit always works for me.

Ummmmmm, you're proud of that?????

brickhouse492 · #11 11-11-2003, 03:24 PM

If you didn't know what she meant by no, why didn't you ask her? If you wanted to go all the way with her, then you should have been able to talk with her openly and honestly. Maybe she was fine will the kissing.

And just in case you didn't understand the first time, understand that No means No.

It is unbelievable (sometimes frightening) to know what men are willing to say and do to get a taste of the forbidden fruit. Don't forget, that apple could be hiding a little worm virus called HIV so be easy fellas.

stoplook_listen · #12 11-12-2003, 10:59 PM

In light of how easy it is to catch a case....In situations like this, I should just be direct. I just don't get why a woman would touch me sexually and not want to do it. If a guy was sucking your chest or fingering you, wouldn't you jump to the conclusion that he wants to have sex?

I don't know if it's a game or what. I didn't wanna be a spoiled sport. Most of these women I ended up hittin a few more times anyway...so I didn't feel like I was a rapist. People throw the term rape around to easily. It messes it up for the real vics.

In the end (for my own safety) I'll just see what's up before hand...if a woman woun't let me cut on my 1st advance, then I'll boot her out before she even has a chance to try play games