How do you nicely say no, i don't want to be your f@%& friend?

kddani · #1 09-28-2003, 10:39 AM

So there's this guy that's a friend of a friend, we hung out a couple times. Every single day he IMs or text messages me trying to invite himself over. Now, he's a nice guy, but we have absolutely zero in common and he's cute, but not really my type. All he wants to do is be my f___ friend, which i'm not really interested in. Now, i have to be nice to him, b/c he is a nice guy and he's a friend of one of my good friends. He's seriously been doing this for a couple of weeks now, and every single night I say no. But it's getting very annoying. Hell, I just got out of the shower and I don't want to take down my away message b/c he's already messaged me asking what i'm doing today and if he can come over.

I think he's just girl-retarded or something.......

But this is annoying.... how can i nicely get rid of him?

Dionysus · #2 09-28-2003, 10:44 AM

I don't know much about AIM, but on yahoo and MSN there's a mode where you can "fake" being offline.
The problem with that is that it will appear like that to everyone on your buddy list, so if you want to speak to someone else you will have to initiate the convo.

AGDee · #3 09-28-2003, 11:03 AM

You need to be honest without being mean or insulting. "I am not interested in a f___ friend"

Mandelion · #4 09-28-2003, 12:11 PM

Yeah, I would reccommend telling him that you're not interested in any kind of involvement right now, but if you were it would be in a meaningful relationship, never a f%$# buddy.

But make sure he gets the point or this could go on forever with him thinking he has a chance.

Have you told your good friend about this? Maybe she could help steer him away..

bethany1982 · #5 09-28-2003, 12:18 PM

Tell him flat out that you are not interested in the relationship. It sounds like you have tried this and that is has not worked. Now, I wouldn't worry about his feelings, it appears that he's not concerned about yours. Talking to your friend may also be a good option.

The1calledTKE · #6 09-28-2003, 12:44 PM

Shoot him down and don't leave any room to where he still thinks he has a chance. Some people just don't give up to its 100 percent clear. If he just wants to be your f___ buddy and love has nothing to do with it , i doubt he will be devistated if your brutally honest.

lovelyivy84 · #7 09-28-2003, 12:45 PM

If you don't want to end up being a bitch to him, tell him how you feel now, before he gets SO annoying that you lose your temper and say what you REALLY think of him, lol.

Just tell him you're not interested. You'll save yourself a hassle.

AOII_LB93 · #8 09-28-2003, 01:10 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by kddani

But this is annoying.... how can i nicely get rid of him?

I know this is coming off rude, but I have dealt with this before on numerous occasions...so take it for what it's worth.

There is not a nice way to nicely get rid of him. You said it yourself, he's annoying the hell out of you...be rude! Maybe then he will get the point. A lot of time with people you need to bring out the harsh reality. Some people are just so persistant, you need to bring out the big guns.

Don't do the normal weak girl thing and say, "You know, I'm really not interested right now." Quite honestly that doesn't work because it gives him a shread of hope. Doesn't it creep you out that a guy you don't know all that well is IMing you constantly? Nobody said you have to be nice to everyone. Tell your friend this guy is a freak, because quite honestly that is freakish behavior.

The guy is not girl retarded, he just needs a dose of reality.

James · #9 09-28-2003, 01:45 PM

The only thing really spooky about it is that you have ZERO sexual history and he is trying to invite himself over all the time.

Because that means you never gave him any reason to even hope he would have a chance.

What a wierdo.

You don't want to be bitchy. You want him to stop.

This is what I would say exactly.

Wow, you really want to come over. I don't want you to come over. So I'll tell you what. If I ever want you to come over I'll ask you. So stop asking, and assume that if you asked I am just going to say, no.

If you keep asking when you know the answer is going to be no, I am going to stop talking to you.

Just type it as a message and most importantly: Don't get into a discussion about it. Don't give an inch. Just refer him back to what you wrote.

Like I said, its a litle spooky that someone you haven'y been physical with keeps trying to invite himself over for sex . . . Damn . . . tell the guy to at least buy you dinner first lol.

AchtungBaby80 · #10 09-28-2003, 01:50 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by zntke711
Shoot him down and don't leave any room to where he still thinks he has a chance.

I agree 110%. Do not let him think he still has a chance. That's why being nice doesn't always work, because some people still think there's a tiny sliver of a chance you'll change your mind, so in the meantime they keep bugging the sh** out of you. Just tell him flat out.

#11 09-28-2003, 07:30 PM

I don't know if there's any polite way to tell him, but I'd just remind him that God did give him two hands.

tinydancer · #12 09-28-2003, 09:24 PM

BWA HAHAHAHAHA

Girl, you are a hoot!! I laughed so loud I scared the cats!!

CC1GC · #13 09-28-2003, 09:41 PM

Tell him you only accept slongs at nine inches and up - you shouldn't get anymore messages from Miami1839.

#14 09-28-2003, 09:45 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by CC1GC
Tell him you only accept slongs at nine inches and up - you shouldn't get anymore messages from Miami1839.

Oh that was goooooood.

CatStarESP4 · #15 09-29-2003, 10:46 AM

You need to put your foot down and tell him firmly that you aren't interested in him. I agree with Ariesrising, if he continues to harass you, notify his ISP. Document and print out everything - leave a paper trail as evidence.

I wonder how he got your contact information in the first place.