WEDDING ETIQUETTE?

[OOHLALA]

I have an etiquette question in reguards to weddings. This is the scenario:
My friend is having a small wedding,50-75 people including the wedd party. Is it wrong of her to allow some of the wedd party to bring a guest (people that she knows, or married, engaged) and not let others in the party (her sister) who is not in a serious relationship to bring a guest. The bride theory is that they will probably pay $50 per person because they are having the ceremony and reception on a boat and want to have close family and friends ONLY!
Tell me what yout think......

[Ideal08]

I personally think that's pretty foul, especially since it's her sister. Either everyone can bring a guest or no one brings a guest. So the married and engaged people in the wedding party will be all coupled off on the boat, and her sister will be by herself?! That doesn't sound right to me.

[toocute]

Originally posted by Ideal08:
That doesn't sound right to me.

I agree and I'm sure I saw this question in one of my wedding planner books also.

[AKAtude]

Since I'm getting married in May, I've done a lot of reading and research. From what I have read, the bride is not wrong. The bride and groom are under no obligation to allow their single guests (even wedding party members) to bring a date unless their guests or wedding party members are married or engaged. If they are in a serious, long-term relationship they should use their own discretion.

I also meant to add that I would allow members of my wedding party to bring a guest (and include the person's name on the invitation), but I guess it also depends on their budget. Maybe the extra people would put them over their limit.

But I will check a couple of my favorite websites to be certain.



[This message has been edited by AKAtude (edited January 02, 2001).]

[OOHLALA]

AKATUDE, I LOVE THEKNOT.COM!!!!!
Thanks everyone, I have sent her the link to this thread, so keep the responses coming!!!!! I am having a big wedding, so I don't have this problem!

[AKA2D '91]

not to seem like I am drinking haterade...LOL, I am only joking when I say....

YA'LL BRIDES-TO-BE make me sick LOL! "let me check my favorite planner etc."

YUCK!

JUST A LITTLE HUMOR!

naw, just make sure you take excellent notes and keep everything (ideas, samples, etc) in a binder...you know...I might need some assistance when it's my turn.

CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL THE BRIDES for the year 2K1!

*SMOOCHES*

[AKAtude]

Oohlala, THEKNOT.COM is my favorite! My only problem has been folks asking if their children can be in the wedding! Whatever happened to waiting to be asked?!

[Eclipse]

According to some bridal experts that I have read, a wedding should not be looked at as a 'social event' i.e. a place to have/bring dates, etc. I think it is perfectly acceptable for the bride to INVITE (not designate as guests) the significant others of those closest to her. If the sister has a boyfriend that she would like to come to the wedding then by all means the bride should invite him. If the sister just wants to invite some one so she should have a date, no offense, but the sister should realize it's not about her. None of my wedding invitations went out as guest. For those good friends that had a boyfriend/girlfriend (even if I didn't know the person) I got the name/address of that person and sent them an inviation personally.

[Eclipse]

Originally posted by AKAtude:
Oohlala, THEKNOT.COM is my favorite! My only problem has been folks asking if their children can be in the wedding! Whatever happened to waiting to be asked?!

I hear ya! I guess that means you have not had GROWN FOLKS telling you "they know they are going to be in the wedding!"

[toocute]

Originally posted by AKA2D '91:
not to seem like I am drinking haterade...LOL, I am only joking when I say....

YA'LL BRIDES-TO-BE make me sick LOL! "let me check my favorite planner etc."

YUCK! *SMOOCHES*

LOL...that was funny.

[toocute]

Originally posted by Eclipse:
I hear ya! I guess that means you have not had GROWN FOLKS telling you "they know they are going to be in the wedding!"

Oh my...I had that happen. I had a DISTANT cousin come up to me and my mom and say "I didn't get an invitation, it must have gotten lost in the mail, He's my new address. You know how the reply cards have a line where you are supposed to fill in the name of the guest you are bringing? I had an aunt ADD four more lines and fill them in with folks names!!! My mom flipped. I have tons of wedding planning stories. If you ladies have any questions...email or post away!!!!

[Convinced]

I'm with AKA2D'91 on ya'll wedding planners..... you all make me sickkkkkkkkkk!!

[lluvmook98]

Hey I'm on THEKNOT, but I am not getting married until November . For those on the knot, are you using the planner. I am. I think that it is great. I gave my matron of honor the code so that she can plan the shower and other bridesmaids activities without me having to find out. It is weird but I was not nervous until 2001 hit then I thought "my God I am getting married". Good luck ladies

[tickledpink]

I have more of a horror story that goes along with wedding etiquette. One of my friends (now more of an associate)was getting married and included me in her bridal party. Mind you, I'd just been invited by my company to attend a huge all expense paid for conference & gala of events in Minneapolis (they only chose a few of thier top performers to invite for free, so it was an honor to get invited) during this time. With a month's notice, I cancelled my trip and planned for this shot gun wedding. The bridesmaids had to put their initial deposits down for their gowns, but 2 wks before the wedding, she & the groom (they were notoriuos for doing the break up make up thing) got into this HUGE fight and the whole thing was called off! When my "friend" told us about it we all cried and hugged and did the sympathy (male-bashing) thing with her, but days later, we started to ask about the deposits. She was very nonchalant about the matter and was just like ~you guys need to discuss that with Mrs. So & So (just like that). So I did. Needless to say, the lady had cancelled the order for the gowns when my "friend" told her that the wedding was off & refused to give the $$ back. I even inquired about having her just order mine (the gown was beautiful ~ it was a neutral color, straight designed with no frumpy bows or anything. Trust me, it wasn't like the ones that I've cracked on people for wearing to formal events) but she wouldn't do it! I called my company and thankfully was able to go on the trip anyway, but that left a sour taste in my mouth. And my "friend" just laughed it all off and was like "oh well". Hmph. I was just in shock because even though they always "broke up", I never thought they'd pull this crap before their wedding. AND the icing on the proverbial cake......... she and the boyfriend ended up eloping, went to the Justice of the Peace and didn't invite one of us. How's that for inconsiderate?

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"Things that make you go hmmmmm..."

-Arsenio Hall

[ManndingoNUPE]

tickledpink, lady I have two words for you:

Beat Down!

Nuff said.

MN