Sorors, Help an Old-Head Out

[Finesse7]

Okay sorors, help an "old-head" out (I crossed in '83). I admit I'm a bit clueless and somewhat disheartened. As I sit here watching BET's top video countdown of 2000, I'm struck by how much of what I see and hear is denigrating toward black women. Perhaps it's so striking and depressing because video after video blasts a viewer with negative images and cut-throat comments about black women. I'm not saying that my generation was more moral than younger generations. SEXuality has always been an integral part of music; however, years ago SENsuality was also important. Love songs were the standard R&B genre whenever I turned on the radio in high school and college. Sure, sexuality was sung about, but it was more often implied. There was subtlety and innuendo; there were double entendres about sex. Now, all I seem to hear is blatant, in-your-face (no pun intended) come-ons and sexually-explicit dares. Sorors, please tell me younger sistas don't buy into this denigration. Also, for the sake of my 4-and 5-year old daughters' future love lives, please tell me that most brothers don't buy into this crap they see and hear and really do know how to treat a lady.
Seasons blessings, Skee Wee

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[Ideal08]

Soror, I'm not really sure what to say about that, only because I'm a little confused on it myself. I'm not sure if our young women are feeding into this mess or not. I have to think so. I mean, they allow themselves to be exploited in these videos, and even exploit themselves (Lil Kim). Things are definitely not the same, and I'm only 26! As far as do men know how to really treat a lady? Oh, absolutely. They know how to treat a LADY. Not all women are ladies, though, and not all men want a lady. Hell, the Cash Money crew wants project chicks. (Disclaimer: I do like the song, but it's clearly not my anthem!) Do you know that at the club when that song comes on, these girls are charged up!! Happy to be project chicks!!! What is that all about??? Like I said, I like the song. I don't know the words to the song. It has a nice beat, I think, though. But I'm not singing it like it's Lift Every Voice and Sing, is all I'm saying.

Soror, I thought so much about this topic, that I posted a thread about it in the APhiA and KAPsi forums (check out the replies), at least on the topic of these women in these videos. I mean, is that all that's sexy anymore? Like you said, whatever happened to innuendos? Or leaving a little something to the imagination. I don't know. I think that a lot of women are feeding into this because it gains them acceptance, and deep down, everyone wants to be accepted by someone, y'know? I guess the thing of it is, how much is too much? I saw a girl on tv who said that it is just a means to an end. So maybe they don't necessarily buy into to all of the sex in videos and on tv and exploitation, but there's a method to their madness. They want to be famous!! They want to be actresses, singers, dancers, etc. This is how they get seen. And I know this is all over the place, I have so many thoughts and theories about this. I also think that a lot of it is that some women don't feel like they're being exploited or cut down. I think that a lot of women see sex as power, and use it as such. Like viewing Lil Kim as a feminist. Some people got really offended about the letter written to her in Essence a couple issues back (based on letters to the editor), so someone thinks she's doing something right. I don't know. It is a little distressing, though.

I think my post is jumbled and long enough, so I'll just stop here. I'm sure I'll be back, though.

[tickledpink]

You know Soror, although I mainly listen to Gospel now, every now & then I think about some of of old school songs, get misty-eyed, and then turn to BET. However, all I tend to see is some girl up there shaking & gyrating with a thong on (and trust me ~ I do not want to see a female in her thong). So I loose hope and change.

It does seem as though alot of younger ladies (I'm 29) have bought into the "I'm a b****, f*** dem ni***as, gold digga" mentality and it's sad. I work in an environment with alot of younger people and this is what I'm in seeing in the work environment as well. Thankfully, I can say, not all of the young GENTLEMEN that I see are "seriously" paying them very much attention. And as Ideal 08 said ~ they tend to approach young LADIES.

Hopefully, some of the younger sorors & sfs can shed some light on this subject, but whatever happened to just love songs? I don't always want to go as deep as Erika Badu (after a 12 hr shift, I don't want to have to think anymore) to hear good music and I don't really listen to Kelly Price too much. Is there anything else out there?

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"Things that make you go hmmmmm..."

-Arsenio Hall

[This message has been edited by tickledpink (edited December 29, 2000).]

[AKA2D '91]

First,
Let me bow to a SKEERIOUS "old school Soror,"

WELCOME TO GREEKCHAT....
Second,
I really don't know what to say about these videos...
I wonder if the men who are so tentilated by these women, half naked....would they take these same women home to momma?

[MIDWESTDIVA]

Originally posted by AKA2D '91:

I wonder if the men who are so tentilated by these women, half naked....would they take these same women home to momma?

Please! Their mommas would go upside their heads if they did! Hoochie mamas are only good for a good time. The best these women can hope for is to be somebody's baby momma. Cause they sure as hell won't be anybody's wife. Everybody know you can't make a ho a housewife.

Finesse7,

Most brothers I know do know how to treat a lady. I have met very few who didn't treat me well. Gentlemen are attracted to ladies. A woman who respects herself isn't going to settle for anything less.
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"If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen." ~Harry S. Truman~

[This message has been edited by MIDWESTDIVA (edited December 30, 2000).]

[AKA2D '91]

Originally posted by MIDWESTDIVA:
Please! Their mommas would go upside their heads if they did! Hoochie mamas are only good for a good time. The best these women can hope for is to be somebody's baby momma. Cause they sure as hell won't be anybody's wife. Everybody know you can't make a ho a housewife.

Shoot, MANY of the girls I KNEW from school (college)who were "hoes" are MARRIED with children (for many years NOW!)....so that cliche'is true FOR SOME...LOL!

I'M LIKE...DAYUM, MAYBE I SHOULD A....NOT!

[This message has been edited by AKA2D '91 (edited December 30, 2000).]

[MIDWESTDIVA]

Originally posted by AKA2D '91:
Shoot, MANY of the girls I KNEW from school (college)who were "hoes" are MARRIED with children (for many years NOW!)....so that cliche'is true FOR SOME...LOL!

I'M LIKE...DAYUM, MAYBE I SHOULD A....NOT!

[This message has been edited by AKA2D '91 (edited December 30, 2000).]

There's an exception to every rule. LOL

[Finesse7]

Thank all of you for your replies. I've thought about this some more, too. Sorors, I almost fell out of my chair laughing when I read the comment about "Project Chicks". As Mike Tyson would say, "that's ludicwous". In all fairness though, I have to admit I remember being in a club and hearing a song called "Freakshow on the Dance Floor" by the Bar-kays. I would even dance to it if the right guy asked. I did, however, draw the line with a song called "The Freaks Come out at Night" (by Kool Moe Dee, maybe?). I remained seated, no matter how fine the guy was who asked me to dance. I remember arguing with a friend of mine about the negative lyrics even back then.

Anyway, to answer one question about other musical alternatives...I listen to "smooth" jazz, some new age, and a lot of "old-school" funk. I find that I can't really abide a lot of hip-hop and straight rap. I'm in the military and have lived/traveled all over the world. After every trip overseas, I found that I was less tolerant of negative black music when I returned to the states. I gave up listening to rap almost completely after traveling in South Africa, Senegal and Ivory Coast for several weeks in Spr '99. I will never forget speeding through Abidjan, Ivory Coast at 70 miles an hour and fearing for my life because my maniacal cab driver couldn't keep his eyes on the road for bopping and singing to a song by Dru Hill. And then, the next 3 songs I heard were all rap. And negative rap at that. And I thought, "even Africans are singing this crap". I couldn't stand to think that people all over the world were buying into this musical negativity that was being spread by OUR OWN.

Anyway, enough said, I think. Keep it simple and elegant, sorors.

[AKA2D '91]

LOL @ Soror with the BAR-KAYS ...
we had their 8-tracks...

But when they talked about "Freakshow" it wasn't as BAD as it is now...The lyrics were NOT as SUGGESTIVE (BLATANT)...

Back in the day, you hardly ever heard (DAMN) in a song, NOW, you hear EVERYTHING but that...

Then with WHODINI(FREAKS COME OUT AT NIGHT)...I always thought they were talking about weirdos...

I think if I remember correctly...(i was just a kid, but my grandmother owned a club....so...) the dances back then like the "worm" and the "spank" were not AS SUGGESTIVE as the dances that are out today...

I could be wrong...