Would you take this test?

[Dionysus]

Would you take this test before marrying or even dating someone? Do you think this test can predict problems and differences in relationships?

Pre-marriage attitudinal test
http://slate.msn.com/id/2089648/

[ZTAngel]

My friend is currently engaged and will be getting married in the Catholic Church. She said a lot of the questions catch you off guard and really make you think. Like the article stated, she felt that a lot of the questions were there so that the church could reprimand you for your behavior. For instance, they ask if you're currently living with your fiance. My friend and her fiance got an earful from the priest after answering yes to that question.
I still don't like the idea of the test.
Although I don't like the idea of this standardized test, I commend the Catholic Church in requiring all their couples to attend pre-marital counseling before getting married within the church. Regardless of religion, I believe that all couples can benefit from pre-marital counseling. The counseling tells you about the issues that may come up during a marriage (ie- financial bankruptcy, disabled/behaviorally challenged children, etc.) and how to deal with these issues appropriately. I think that it's great because many couples do not think about these things before marriage but they can happen. The counseling arms the couples with ways to deal with these issues and how they can talk through them with a spouse rather than jumping to get a divorce.
My boyfriend is Catholic but, since I'm Jewish, we won't be getting married in the Catholic Church. But, I think that before we get married, I will ask the Catholic Church if maybe we can sit in on these pre-marital counseling classes (they're group sessions). I'm hoping that since he's Catholic they might let us!

[aephi alum]

It's an interesting idea... sometimes engaged couples don't thoroughly discuss all the things that go into a marriage, then they get nasty surprises when, say, she discovers he doesn't want kids when she really does, or he discovers she wants to have a career when he'd prefer she stay home with the kids.

My husband and I never took a paper-and-pencil test like this, but we did have several meetings with our rabbi, and he made sure we'd discussed the "hot" issues.

I know of one engaged Catholic couple who had indicated that they lived together. As soon as the priest found out, he refused to conduct their wedding unless one of them moved out. So they had to scramble to find an apartment with a month-to-month lease (it was only about 6 months before the wedding) just so they had 2 separate mailing addresses.

[cashmoney]

Originally posted by ZTAngel
My boyfriend is Catholic but, since I'm Jewish, we won't be getting married in the Catholic Church.

You know, I never thought of you being Jewish. But come to think of it, you are from Boca. My friends from there are all jewish to some degree....some are practicing but most are not. Which are you?






Dionysus-

To answer the question; Yes! I think the counseling wouldnt hurt. But I don't think its vital to making a marriage work. It just makes you realise what you're getting yourself into. Personally, I don't need someone telling me what I'm getting in to by getting married. If I havent realized it by the time I ask her....I'll never understand the full extent of it. I'm Catholic, as is Lady Cashmoney ( Yet, we're both Republicans). We share pretty much the same views on politics, religion, economics and life itself. Basically she's the female version of me, but she's not a slut. I wouldnt be in a relationship with someone who didnt share the same view as I in those four areas. Eventually one day I'm going to want to marry. By the time I'm ready I think I'll know what I'm getting myself in to and not actually need the counseling...but I'd still go through it.

[ZTAngel]

Originally posted by cashmoney
You know, I never thought of you being Jewish. But come to think of it, you are from Boca. My friends from there are all jewish to some degree....some are practicing but most are not. Which are you?

I'm non-practicing.

[Lady Pi Phi]

Originally posted by cashmoney
...To answer the question; Yes! I think the counseling wouldnt hurt. But I don't think its vital to making a marriage work. It just makes you realise what you're getting yourself into. Personally, I don't need someone telling me what I'm getting in to by getting married. If I havent realized it by the time I ask her....I'll never understand the full extent of it. I'm Catholic, as is Lady Cashmoney ( Yet, we're both Republicans). We share pretty much the same views on politics, religion, economics and life itself. Basically she's the female version of me, but she's not a slut. I wouldnt be in a relationship with someone who didnt share the same view as I in those four areas. Eventually one day I'm going to want to marry. By the time I'm ready I think I'll know what I'm getting myself in to and not actually need the counseling...but I'd still go through it.

I agree, you should know what you're getting yourself into before you get married, but so many people don't.
Some people get married because they think that's what they are supposed to do. You know get married, have 2.4 kids, the white picket fence, the dog, etc, etc.
There has to be a reason the divorce rate is so high.
I think it should be mandatory (some sort of couselling, not necessarily religious). I should be hard to get married and easier to get divorced, that way people will enter into this union for the right reasons, instead of it just something for them to do.

I would like to take something like this with my fiance before we get married.

Even though we've talked about all of the big issues (money, kids, gender roles, etc.), and feel that we're in agreement, I think inventories like this can often bring up questions that you may not think to discuss.

[GeekyPenguin]

I definitely would do this before I got married...even if I don't find a nice Catholic boy. (Are there nice Catholic boys? )

[valkyrie]

I'm inherently distrustful of the Catholic church, but I'd love to take the test because it sounds fun. I'm 99% sure that Mr. valkyrie and I would agree on just about everything anyway -- we agree on all of the big issues and pretty much all of the small ones too. It's kind of weird. I can't imagine anything on which we don't agree.

[XOAlumXO]

Hey ZTAngel-
I am Catholic, and I don't see why they wouldn't let you sit in on the classes. They are called Pre Cana, by the way!

My sister and her husband just got married and said that the classes really made them think of issues and helped them to discuss it. I think it's a great idea. I have also heard of other religions doing similar classes.

[honeychile]

I'm not Catholic, but I've taken the Christian version of those tests - twice. I cannot recommend them highly enough! The two times I took the tests were with men who swore they loved me & knew me enough to marry me, yet I knew they didn't. It took the hard facts in black & white to make them see how wrong they were - that, like most people, they had projected what they wanted me to be like as the woman they "loved".

I found out about the tests after getting involved with a divorce recovery ministry. I know the one pastor from years ago (his son & I played soccer together), and he suggested I try them. Those tests are truly a god-send, and I think you'll all find that most churches will ask you to take them (or at least some counseling) prior to marriage. If the church doesn't, ask for it!! You have nothing to lose but potential heartache!!

I wish I could remember the names of the two sets of tests - if I can, I'll post them.

[AlphaFrog]

Originally posted by GeekyPenguin
(Are there nice Catholic boys? )

I found one, but he's non-practicing (Thank God!....I'm not Catholic and I spent 4 years in Catholic school so I know I don't want to be Catholic). Although I think the only reason he's Catholic is because he's from Mexico and most people from Mexico are Catholic (it's the major relgion by alot).

[Kevin]

Originally posted by GeekyPenguin
I definitely would do this before I got married...even if I don't find a nice Catholic boy. (Are there nice Catholic boys? )

I'm one..

Unfortunately, the GF would probably never go through with any type of religious ceremony.

Can't win 'em all.

[lauralaylin]

Originally posted by GeekyPenguin
(Are there nice Catholic boys? )

I found one, but I grabbed him up in high school before anyone else could. He's practicing, from a very religious family. His only brother is becoming a priest and is currently studying in Rome. I had to get married in the Catholic church, and I took the class. It was really good, but they pretended that we were all Catholic, even though there were two others besides me that weren't. I didn't like that at all. But the class was good because it made you talk about a lot of things that maybe one wouldn't consider before getting married.

On a side note, I had to sign a piece of paper the priest gave me that said I will raise my children in the Catholic church. If I didn't sign it, we couldn't get married. I'm not practicing any religion, so I didn't really care, but my mom hated that I had to do that!

[XOAlumXO]

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Originally posted by GeekyPenguin
(Are there nice Catholic boys? )
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Currently looking for one!! I am a practicing Catholic and love it. I want to find someone to share this with.