Family dilemna

swissmiss04 · #1 10-14-2003, 07:18 PM

So here's the deal guys...I'm planning a trip to Egypt for Christmas break, and I've been so stoked since I found out I was going (going to see the lovely family of Mr. Swissmiss). I told my dad and sister about it and they were happy for me and all that but today I told my mom. While that doesn't *sound* like a big deal, you don't know what she's like. Impossible, in a word. She just ranted and went off on me about how I'm turning my back on my family. Then...my aunt sent me a long ranting email about what an awful person I am. Is this something I should address or let it ride? I made it quite clear I'm not doing this out of spite, but just 'cause it's an awesome opportunity, but they just don't seem to get it.

Peaches-n-Cream · #2 10-14-2003, 08:05 PM

Is Mr. Swiss your husband or fiance? If he is not, your family is probably hurt and angry that you have chosen him over them. I think that you should address it by speaking directly to your mother. Make time during the Christmas season for your family. If that is impossible, spend Thanksgiving with them. Unless I am mistaken, they just want to spend time with you. Try to accommodate them even if it is just for a short time.

Enjoy Egypt!

cashmoney · #3 10-14-2003, 08:06 PM

Your family will get over it, mine did. I spend all the other holidays with them.

librasoul22 · #4 10-14-2003, 09:18 PM

The return of dilemNa!

swissmiss04 · #5 10-14-2003, 09:51 PM

Lol libra...well Cream, here's the deal. He is my husband (which my parents were NOT happy with, but so it goes) and his in-laws are really nice people (after all they're flying me over there and taking care of me for 3 weeks). It just really shocked me that some of the stuff my mom and aunt said are far more racist/bigoted than I ever imagined they could be. You'd think he was a leper or a child molester rather than an Egyptian from the way they talk. I still keep telling myself that it'll blow over, but for now it still stresses me out.

bethany1982 · #6 10-14-2003, 09:53 PM

He's your husband, go!

G8Ralphaxi · #7 10-14-2003, 11:23 PM

This is going to sound kind of paranoid, but my best friend had a friend who ended up in a tricky situation when she was on a "visit the in-laws" trip like this. I don't want to get into details but it is a very very scary story.

I am sure that your husband is a wonderful person (if not, you wouldn't have married him

) and the family members you have met or talked with are also good people. However, please remember that some countries have different views of women's rights/proper place in society. Plus many countries don't really have warm fuzzie feelings about Westerners. I would expect that you do not know the entire extended family, neighbors, etc. and they may not be as good people as your husband is.

Please try to always keep your U.S. passport with you at all times and be careful. Female intuition is a powerful thing, so if you feel weird about anything, don't ignore that.

I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be a downer. I think that you will probably have a wonderful, exciting trip that you will share with your children and grandchildren one day.