What would you do if your friend.....

[Talaxe]

I agree with Miss Mocha, I would continue to support my bestfriend. I would be bothered by the fact that she hid something so important from me, but I would not push my religious beliefs on her. I would try not to judge her.

This would be a true test of friendship on both of your parts.

[This message has been edited by Talaxe (edited November 30, 2000).]

[kiml122]

I have to agree with what has been said. I would hope that if we have been friends for 20 years, that I will still continue to be her friend regardless of her sexual orientation.



------------------
Peace
KL

[Ideal08]

I would definitely support her. I don't think our friendship would change one ounce, unless, of course, she tried to convert me! But otherwise, we'd still be girls. I would be shocked as all get out, and if yall knew my bestfriend, so would yall!! But we've been thru much worse, I'm sure we could wade the waters of homosexuality.

[hamms2]

This has happened to me. Three of my friends are gay. I found out through an email that was not meant for me. We have been friends for six years and our friendship will never change because of this. They are still the same people as before and our friendship is true and I'm not going to let their sexual preference change our friendship and neither should you.

[Sexy Mocha]

This happened to me a few years back. My initial reaction was one of disbelief and shock. I was angry, not because she was gay...but because we were friends for YEARS and she felt she couldn't confide in me about it. Why was I the last person to know?
(rhetorical question)
After the shock subsided, I decided I would go and meet this girlfriend she had suddenly acquired. (Which was something I was NOT prepared for, I had to get used to seeing my my friend, that I used to double date with, be intimate with someone of the same sex)Anyway, long story short...turns out it was a phase she was going through because afterwards she was never with another female again (at least I don't think so). She has now been in a heterosexual relationship for the past 6 years. So I guess she wasn't really gay, maybe bi....but not all out, 100% gay. My point: after the initial shock, I decided to except my friend for who she was (rather, who she thought she was.... Lawd,the child has always been confused Despite the fact, she was still the girl I used to play double dutch with, got in trouble with, the girl that had my back in fights, etc.

[Diva_56]

I have had this happen to me twice! One of my friends was afraid to lose my friendship if she told me so she held it back for 2 years. I started to suspect so when people started telling me rumors about her. I asked her about them and she kind of froze on me, and I knew then that they were true. I love my friends dearly and have only but a few because a good friend is hard to come by, although I have christian convictons against homosexuality, I also have madd love for her as well. Jesus says love the person, hate the sin. I have made it clear to her how I feel and I will be there to support her, but in the same token I cannot support her as to condone the behavior for I believe it is wrong. She understands, although I have chosen to separate myself from her lifestyle, we still talk and go out and chill like old times. I find myself even ministering to her on the regular though, either way I still consider her one of my best friends. People cal me a hypocrite for still associating with her, but I know that God has a plan for everyone's life, who am I to give up on someone who as helped me through some of the hardest times in my life.
It is a hard issue for me because it is very hard to give up on your friends.

[This message has been edited by Diva_56 (edited November 30, 2000).]

[Lady of Interest]

I had that similar incident happen to me a while ago. It was actually a family member who just happens to be my bestfriend also. She confided in me and at first I was shocked. Honestly I have very strong feelings about homosexuality. I come from a family where this behavior is STRICTLY forbidden, but I could not let that come between us. I accepted and told her I will love her just the same. Now as I have matured, my views have changed. She still is the same person, but her preference is different.

[Discogoddess]

Sorors and friends:

What would you do if your friend of 10, 15, 20 years came to you and told you they:

-had sex outside marriage, with more than one person
-got pregnant, had a baby and didn't marry the father
-smoked weed
-told lies
-cheated on their homework or an exam
-stole
-judged other people, as if they were not being judged by our Creator;

See where I'm going with this, folks? I think it's highly self righteous to say "I have issues with her homosexuality, but she's still my friend." Hell, I have issues with unmarried mothers, especially those trying to pledge my sorority, but doesn't that sound super judgemental? And isn't sex outside of marriage a sin? Whose going to hell first? No wonder we Christians have the reputation of being judgemental, holier-than-thou types, cuz it's true!

And yes, I have had this situation happen, actually with a soror I made.

Yall done got my pressure up with this one...

[MIDWESTDIVA]

Originally posted by Discogoddess:
No wonder we Christians have the reputation of being judgemental, holier-than-thou types, cuz it's true!

I am with Discogoddess on this one. We are ALL doing things we aren't supposed to do. That doesn't mean that we can't be friends with one another. If you have a problem with homosexuality, then don't become a homosexual.

And honestly, I wish one of my friends WOULD try to preach to me about ANYTHING that I do.


[This message has been edited by MIDWESTDIVA (edited November 30, 2000).]

[Convinced]

I'm with Discogoddess on this one, too. In God's eyes, no sin is any greater than the other...if you lust after someone, you might as well have fornicated, because it is all the same! And with that in mind, I have committed many sins, so it would not be for me to judge. I won't lie like I haven't made disparaging comments about homosexuals. But I can't condemn a person, because I'm a sinner, too. I don't know how long it would take me to digest the news, but I would eventually swallow my ignorance, and love her the same!

[AKA2D '91]

If my friend came to me and told me that she was a lesbian, I'd say...

1. MORE POWER TO YA!
2. WHATEVER FLOATS YOUR BOAT!
3. AND...NEXT DISCUSSION!

NOW, on my job, I have a co-worker (MALE) that I wish would just come out and SAY, HERE I AM! THIS IS WHAT I AM! LOL

[AKAtude]

1. MORE POWER TO YA!
2. WHATEVER FLOATS YOUR BOAT!
3. AND...NEXT DISCUSSION!

LOL at Soror AKA2D, but I'm with you on that one.

[Miss. Mocha]

I don't understand.

I have spiritual issues with my friends that have children by more than one daddy. I have issues with my friends drive drunk, have sex in front of their children, and take drugs in front of their children.

I am personally not trying to be judgemental, I'm just saying.

I'm sure that my friends have spiritual issues with some of the decisions I've made in life. THEY HAD BETTER NOT LOVE ME ANY LESS.

Isn't saying that you love your friend despite questionable decisions the very essence of friendship?

I don't think it's being judgemental, but hey, that's just my opinion.

Miss. Mocha

[vanda]

I have homosexual family members and close friends. When you think of the reasons as to why you are against it there is always a rational counter claim.

#1 It's a sin: So is half the stuff we do in our everyday life but no one is gonna really shame you.

#2 They're gonna try to convert me: Do you go around trying to make people heterosexual. I think not.

#3 They're going to make a pass at me: Let's get over ourselves. Just like heteros have a certain type of person they want so do they.

#4 They're promiscuous: And some heteros are not? Come on now.

Homosexuals are just like us but they only have a different sexual preference. If they are your friend, are they not going to be there for you because of their gayness? No if they are a friend they will be there regardless. It should not have any effect at all on your friendship

[Wonderful1908]

We all have issues that seem to get us on our soapbox. Just imagine all the people out there doing things we disapprove of behind closed doors! Its imposible to live in a perfect world, personally I would care less if my friend were gay, if thats what makes her happy I would be 110% supportive, because it is HER life. Now as far as everything else goes...its up to personal opinions.On a whole different angle: Soror Discogoddess what are your reservations about unwed mothers trying to pledge the sorority?