Pledge Moms having littles

Buttonz · #1 09-07-2003, 04:03 AM

I'd like to hear what everyone thinks about pledge moms (or VP of NM, NM Ed, etc) taking a little (or whatever you call them). I am NM Ed this semster and also up for a little and I am not sure what to do

Optimist Prime · #2 09-07-2003, 04:27 AM

Take a Little. You're in charge, so you get first pick.

LeslieAGD · #3 09-07-2003, 08:00 AM

In my chapter, it's happened a few times before. I don't think it has ever really caused problems, but a lot of people voice concerns about it. When you're supposed to be a mentor and guide to all the pledges, it doesn't seem right to have your main focus be on one particular one.

PM_Mama00 · #4 09-07-2003, 10:34 AM

Our Phi Moms aren't supposed to take lils, I think for the fact that Leslie stated about putting your attention into one girl. We've had to do it tho a few times because of certain situations. Last year we had more Phis than actives!

HotDamnImAPhiMu · #5 09-07-2003, 11:29 AM

In general, I think if you have enough actives to take littles, the pledge mom doesn't have any business taking one.

Probably what's best in this situation is to listen to your sisters -- if the sorority as a whole seems to feel it's OK for you to take a little, then do it. If they don't, maybe it's best to hold off -- you don't want this to become a problem later down the line. Either hand off the title of pledge mom to one of your assistants or hold off on taking a little until the next pledge class comes through.

astroAPhi · #6 09-07-2003, 12:22 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by HotDamnImAPhiMu
In general, I think if you have enough actives to take littles, the pledge mom doesn't have any business taking one.

I'm with that one. Of course, I think it's better to give a Pledge Mom a little instead of doubling up.

I've seen it cause a lot of resentment between sisters when a pledge mom takes a little. It happened just last semester, and then the pledge mom went alumnae instead of sticking out her 9th semester as an active. Her little sister is actually my roommate, and I think she's feeling a little abandoned now. It just seems like every time the pledge mom takes a little, someone gets upset because they really wanted that girl for a little sister, and that girl didn't get a little sister at all.

I get kind of irritated with girls hogging littles in general, but that's a whole 'nother thread.

Buttonz · #7 09-07-2003, 02:11 PM

The only way that I am planning on taking a little is if we have a big pledge class big enough that if I don't take one we would have to double up...we have only 10 actives (one will probably go inactive and the other one is trying to go alumane). I wouldn't have first pick only because there are two girls ahead of me....my pledge mom and pledge sister, but thats fine with me...the only thing that i odn't like is the Pledge Mom is for the whole year (both the fall and spring classes) which means I wouldnt get a little until Fall 2004.

KappaKittyCat · #8 09-07-2003, 04:37 PM

Buttonz, that sounds pretty wise. If there are enough NMs that your not taking a little would cause doubling, or if there's a girl that you just HAVE to have as your little, then take one. If not, or if it's going to cause some friction in the chapter, then think about holding off. My personal opinion is that if you'd have to wait 'til Fall 2004 to get a little, then you should be allowed to take one now. But that's just me. If you take one now, then that's one less year for your little, whoever she might be, to be alone (because her big's graduated). My big gradated after my first year as a Kappa, and while I love her to death and wouldn't want anyone else to be my big, I did feel lonely quite often. So that'd be a valid point for you to bring up.

Good luck.

roxydiva · #9 09-07-2003, 05:23 PM

i know that my number one pick for a big was our NM educator, and i did not get her. she told me later that she wanted me, but felt that she shouldnt because she was the NME, i was sad but realized she had a good point...oh well, shes still awesome!

roxydiva

veemers · #10 09-07-2003, 07:48 PM

I don't think there's anything wrong with you taking a little so long as you don't give her special treatment until *after* she's initiated.

If you wait, you might have a little that feels like you didn't really want to be her big, which is how I feel. My big chose me because I wanted someone older than me, and she came up with first pledge class. She didn't really want me to be her little at first for reasons that need not be mentioned here (it's a long, confusing story and I'd rather not stay resentful), and I feel like she is pretty much abandoning me since she graduates in December (I initiated this spring) AND since she's gone social this semester. If you wait, your little might think "I'm only her little because she FINALLY got to have one, etc."

I say take a little. If you can put in the time and be a good big, your little will love you all the more. And if the rest of the pledge feels bitter or jealous, just explain that you love them all, but you really wanted a little. True sisters would understand.

Glitter650 · #11 09-08-2003, 03:48 AM

Our chapter doesn't let our "mom" take a lil.... or our VP or our President... well VP and Pres cause their jobs are too big anyway.. and mom because well she already gets to know all the new members, it's kinda a conflict of interest really. If we're desperate, then maybe we would let her.. but in general we stick to those positions not taking on a lil sis, but if your chapter feels you should do it and you want to and have connected with a with one of the new members, then go ahead and take one!

RoseNWhiteLion · #12 09-08-2003, 12:01 PM

Supposedly this is an "unwritten" rule in my chapter, so the e-board the year I was Pledge Mom told me I couldn't have one, but then the next class' Moms BOTH took their SECOND Littles, when I couldn't have my FIRST when I was Mom, so I'm kinda personally experienced with this situation...

Personally, I think that if the Pledge Director is elligible, and there is a pledge who wants her as a Big then there shouldn't be a problem with it. I mean I think it all depends on who wold be the best Big for that pledge...but over all I see no reason why the Mom can't have a Little. People will say that the Mom would then "favor" her little....but if you havea good Mom then she'll know to be fair. So I don't see an issue with it.

erniegurl00 · #13 09-08-2003, 02:13 PM

I was VP Social last term, and this is how we do little selection at our house. (VP Social=NM Ed)

The littles make a list of bigs they'd like to have. Then the VP Social chooses a "panel" of 2-3 people who aren't eligible to take lil's to make the pairings. We don't allow potential bigs to say who they'd like to have as a little; we leave it up to the lil's to say who they feel comfy with. And, because the panel chooses the pairings the VP Social is allowed to take a lil if she wants one. That happened to me during my term as a VP Social, and it worked out for the best. Admittedly, I had my favorite, but because the panel didn't know my personal feelings they paired me a different new member. (I'm glad I was given this lil too! We're actually a lot more a like than the girl I had originally wanted!)

I hope this helps!

AlphaXi4983 · #14 09-08-2003, 02:18 PM

I'm gonna have to agree with the one's who say pledge mom's shouldnt take littles.
my chapter normally doesnt allow NewMOCs to take littles that semester(s) just to keep things fair and unbiased. but it usually ends up that the new members are all like her littles-- they have such a great bond with the NewMOC just becuase of the amount of time they usually spend together.
also, when the littles chose their bigs (they know ahead of time who is interested in taking a little), the NewMOC and the president are the ones who does the pairing, so it just keeps things more fair all the way around.

ShaunaF01 · #15 09-08-2003, 02:37 PM

my chapter has it in our bylaws that new member educators aren't allowed to take littles that semester, and if there are circumstances in which they need to, then they need to appeal the bylaw to the chapter.

so really, when you run for NME you know that you can not take a little. however, when i pledge, my NME appealed to take a little because she was leaving that semester to student teach and then she was goin to graduate. she had a little already but her little went inactive and decided not to come back to the sorority, so my NME's tree would've died, so the chapter allowed her to take another little. but that's really the only situation we've ever had.