Crying all night, praying all day

[ilovemyglo]

So as we have discussed before many of us have friends and family abroad. Well last night all of the war stuff on tv really got to me. I was up all night with burning eyes and crying my head off. My best friend is over there, and everytime I hear about a marine that is hurt, or killed, or lost, I start bawling all over again. I know he doesn't want me to be like this and I know that he needs strength, so when I write him I tell him jokes and about all the good that is going on. I didn't tell him about my cervical cancer, or about my upcoming surgery.
So, here is the worst feeling in the world: hearing that someone is hurt over there, one of our troops, and finding out that it isn't him. It is truly the BITTERSWEET feeling I have never had before. My best friend is still safe (hopefully) but someone else is out there hurting and mourning for their family and their friends. How do I deal with this? All day I just pray at work and do my job, but in the back of my head I keep praying, I get home and cry all night long. I feel inconsolable. I don't know what to do to make myself feel better?! I just want to crawl in a hole until everything is over.

I really cannot deal with these emotions. My brother and I are so close and last night he just sat there and let me cry, knwoing there is nothing to say or do to make me feel better. He just reminds me that we are doing this for a reason and to trust in God.

Well, Mr. God- IT HURTS! I WANT MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS BACK! I want the people in Iraq to have fairness and equality, I want them to be able to watch untainted news and decide things for themselves and I want them to become a part of a better world, without biological weapons, and UN Inspectors having to keep their leader in check. But I yearn for the comfort of my friends' voices and to hear them laugh.
And I fear for the change in their eyes when they have returned.