disappointed rushee

lizp1228 · #1 09-24-2003, 06:34 PM

hi
just wanted to tell my story and get some advice.

well, i actually finished formal rush about two weeks ago. for second rounds i got asked back to my top 7 houses and i was excited. i went through it and found 3 houses that i thought i really connected with. i was so sure that i would get asked back to those three houses i put at the top of my list, but i didnt. i was shocked on pref night when i got my list. i only got asked back to one house that was number 7 on my list. i went to their house and decided that i didnt feel comfortable there. after a long talk with my rho chi, i dropped out so i could have more options during cob or spring rush. plus i felt so deceived by my top three houses. i really felt that i had great conversations at those houses and i really liked my top house especially. so now im confused and dont know what to do. i really want to be a part of a sorority, but i also feel let down.

im going through cob, but none of my top three are doing it, and i knda want to hold out for them. but then again, they didnt choose me in the first place. i think i'll wait for spring rush.

can anyone explain to me why my top three didnt ask me back(i felt really confident)? or have any advice?

DeltaBetaBaby · #2 09-24-2003, 07:25 PM

As has been said a thousand times, none of us can speculate on why you did not receive invitations from your top houses.

I can tell you this, though, if they are not doing COB now, it is possible they will not be doing spring rush either. Some chapters only take girls through formal recruitment. You have the option of participating in FR again next year, but then you may be in a worse position because you are a sophomore.

LeslieAGD · #3 09-24-2003, 07:43 PM

As DeltaBetaBaby said, it is very difficult for us to speculate. If you go to a large school, it could have to do with numbers. IMO, you should try out COB. You may make a connection at one of the other chapters, but at the very least you'll put yourself out there and meet some awesome girls.

xonikki · #4 09-24-2003, 07:56 PM

That's really strange, because the EXACT same thing happened to me last year! I got asked back to my top 7 for second rounds and only got asked back to my seventh choice for pref. Like you, I dropped out, but my rho chis never gave me withdrawl forms with my info to be sent out for cob. They explained to me because there was an unusually large number of girls rushing, that it's very common to slip through the cracks even if the girls that talked to you loved you...and I realize just how true this is, having gone through rush on the other side this year. Other than that, it could be any number of things that only the individual chapters would know.

What I did, and what you might want to do, is contact your school's panhellenic office to find out when spring rush is and who is doing it. If any of the sororities sound appealing to you, then try it! That's what I did...Chi Omega lost a lot of seniors to graduating and so we did spring rush...and by coincidence, they were my top choice in the fall and now I'm an initiated sister!!!

And even if your top choice isn't doing spring rush, you might want to give it a try anyway...you might end up liking a different house than you did this fall. But if you do not want to do spring rush, if it's really important to you that you get into one of your top choices from the fall, I'd wait until next year. Besides, you'll be able to get to know a lot more girls in the house...which will give you a good advantage!!!

Good luck with what you decide!!!

cash78mere · #5 09-24-2003, 08:27 PM

honestly?

have you ever been on a blind date where you've never met the person before but have heard a lot about them? you get to the date, take one look or talk to him for a few hours and realize things just will not work out. he seems to be having a great time and at the end of the night asks if you want to do it again. you, being nice, say of course. he calls the next day and you never call him back. he doesn't understand what he did since he thought everything went SO well...you were having a great conversation, great eye contact, etc... but you just didn't feel it. and he's left wondering ,"why???"

that to me is the essence of what happened to you and many other confident rushees.

go for COB!! you never know and if you don't try, you definitely won't get a bid anywhere. if you try, at least you have a chance!

good luck.

mmcat · #6 09-24-2003, 08:35 PM

good ideas all...
lizp, research cob, go out and see what's going on and keep your head clear and see what develops.
there might be surprises there you haven't thought of, or not.
but if you don't try there will always be the ya-but mode. you know what i'm talking about.
you can still always say no, if it doesn't work.