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09-08-2003, 09:48 PM
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Super Moderator
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Join Date: Jul 2001
Location: On the beach. Well....not really but near it. :0)
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Girl joke of the day--Not for the teary eyed Guy!
15 PIECES OF ADVICE TO BE PASSED ON TO YOUR DAUGHTERS
1. Don't imagine you can change a man - unless he's in diapers.
2. What do you do if your boyfriend walks-out? You shut the door.
3. If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.
4. Never let your man's mind wander - it's too little to be out alone.
5. Go for younger men. You might as well - they never mature anyway.
6. Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.
7. Definition of a bachelor; a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.
8. Women don't make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.
9. Best way to get a man to do something, is to suggest he is too old for it.
10. Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.
11. If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.
12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even inbiblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.
13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks.
14. Remember, a sense of humor does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.
15. Sadly, all men are created equal.
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Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority, Inc. ** Greater Service, Greater Progress Since 1922
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09-08-2003, 09:51 PM
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Re: Girl joke of the day--Not for the teary eyed Guy!
Quote:
Originally posted by NinjaPoodle
13. If he asks what sort of books you're interested in, tell him checkbooks.
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That's what I'M talking about!! 
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09-08-2003, 10:05 PM
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Super Moderator
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Location: On the beach. Well....not really but near it. :0)
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Quote:
12. The children of Israel wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even inbiblical times, men wouldn't ask for directions.
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just experienced this this weekend...(hee, hee) 
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Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority, Inc. ** Greater Service, Greater Progress Since 1922
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09-08-2003, 10:05 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: Somewhere in the Continent!
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NinjaPoodle, you've made my day!!!
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ESF
Growing Strong Since 1995!
The Trolls have taken over the Asylum!
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09-08-2003, 10:14 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Location: California
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LOL!
Why do men like smart women?
Opposites attract.
Last edited by bethany1982; 09-08-2003 at 10:17 PM.
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09-08-2003, 11:10 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2003
Location: Red Raider Land, TX
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that was soo cute!!! Thank you! 
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09-08-2003, 11:26 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2000
Posts: 4,114
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I used to have a post-it note that read "All Men Were Created Equal. Poor Things" BLAHAHAHA!
Gotta love this!
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09-08-2003, 11:40 PM
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Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Counting my blessings!
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A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After his checkup, the doctor called the wife into his office alone.
He said, "Your husband is suffering from a very severe disease, combined with horrible stress. If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die. Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast. Be pleasant, and make sure he is in a good mood. For lunch make him a nutritious meal. For dinner prepare an especially nice meal for him. Don't burden him with chores, as he probably had a hard day. Don't discuss your problems with him, it will only make his stress worse. And most importantly, make love with your husband several times a week and satisfy his every whim. If you can do this for the next 10 months to a year, I think your husband will regain his health completely."
On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?"
"You're going to die," she replied.
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~ *~"ADPi"~*~
♥Proud to be a Macon Magnolia ♥
"He who is not busy being born is busy dying." Bob Dylan
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09-09-2003, 01:06 PM
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Super Moderator
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Location: On the beach. Well....not really but near it. :0)
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Quote:
Originally posted by honeychile
A woman ....
On the way home, the husband asked his wife, "What did the doctor say?"
"You're going to die," she replied.
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Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority, Inc. ** Greater Service, Greater Progress Since 1922
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09-09-2003, 01:18 PM
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I like these jokes....
Thanks for the laughs NinjaPoodle and Honeychile.
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1908 - 2008
A VERY SERIOUS MATTER.
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09-09-2003, 01:38 PM
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Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Murfreesboro, TN ~*~
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This so made my day since the bf and I just went through a messy breakup and all and Ive been sad lol but yeah its all good cause this is so true thanks a bunch for this lovely cheering up heh
Nichole
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09-09-2003, 01:50 PM
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Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: New York City
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09-09-2003, 01:52 PM
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Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Atlanta, GA
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Not really a joke, but I thought it was interesting...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE one old love she can imagine going back to...and one who reminds her how far she has come...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own even if she never wants to or needs to...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE a youth she's content to leave behind...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE a past juicy enough that she's looking
forward to retelling it in her old age....
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE one friend who always makes her laugh... and one who lets her cry...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE a good piece of furniture not previously
owned by anyone else in her family...
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored..
A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE a feeling of control over her destiny...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... how to fall in love without
losing herself...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... how to quit a job, break up
with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... when to try harder... and when to walk away...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... that she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... that her childhood may not have been perfect...but its over...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... what she would and wouldn't do
for love or more...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... how to live alone... even
if she doesn't like it...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... whom she can trust,
whom she can't, and why she shouldn't take it personally...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... where to go... be it to her best friend's kitchen table... or a charming inn in the woods... when her soul needs soothing...
EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW... what she can and can't accomplish in a day... a month... and a year...
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She's a rose, she's a pearl, she's an AOP girl
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09-09-2003, 02:32 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Nov 2000
Location: I'on know...
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another good girl joke
My boss (a female of course) sent me this
NEW DRINK IN TOWN
>This guy and his girlfriend head to the local bar. The girl says she'll be
>happy to pick up the round as she's heard of a new drink she wants him to
>try.
>
>She returns to their table and has two drinks for him.
>
>One is a measure of Bailey's. The other is full of lime juice.
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>She says, "Ok, what you have to do is swig the Bailey's, hold it in your
>mouth, and then chase it with the lime juice."
>
>He looks a little dubious but does as he's told because she's really cute
>when she's enthusiastic and he noticed a gleam in her eyes.
>
>First he drinks in the Bailey's. Smooth. A warm feeling in his mouth.
>Then he chugs the lime juice.
>
>After about a second, the cream in the Bailey's curdles in his mouth.
>
>Two seconds into it his face turns the color of fresh lime juice.
>Three seconds and he's finally able to calm his stomach enough to swallow
>the mess.
>
>As he makes a face, she whispers sweetly in his ear,
>"It's called 'Blowjob Revenge'."
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09-09-2003, 03:15 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Seemingly in perpetual registration
Posts: 2,111
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okay, my turn!
A WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST:
She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.
Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.
Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.
Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.
And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.
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