Single And/Or Childless

AKAtude · #1 10-10-2000, 10:17 AM

This morning I was watching the Today show on NBC. Katie Couric was interviewing two women- one felt single, childless people in the workplace are being discriminated against and the other woman said they are not.

As I listened to this debate, I was reminded of something that happened to me a little over a year ago. When something in the office came up and needed to be taken care of which usually involved coming in early or staying late, I noticed that I and another single, childless co-worker were always the first and second to be asked. Since I'm not one to hold my tongue, I told them that just because I'm single and have no children does not mean they can plan on my personal time or assume I'll always agree to do something they should be doing. After that, they extended the invitation for "volunteers" to all co-workers, not just a select few.

In most cases it does take two incomes to sustain a household. We are always preaching "parental involvement". Afterall, children need guidance and the best place to get it is in the home. I want children to grow up to be productive citizens and contribute to society. Afterall, they are future!

So, if they get the sniffles and mom or dad needs to call in sick to take them to the doctor and take sick leave, that is ok. If mom or dad wants to volunteer to go on a field trip and take personal leave, that is ok. In these instances, I don't have a problem helping to pick up the slack. But I do have a problem being dumped on simply because I don't have a husband and/or family at home. Don't my dogs count for anything?!

mochaberry · #2 10-10-2000, 03:01 PM

I think that the knife can cut both ways. When I worked at a bank where I was the only person who was married with a child, my co workers would act as if I were trying to get out of doing things after work. They would have meetings that would start at 5:30pm.

Everybody with children knows that most day- cares close their doors at 6:00pm. Yet, every time there was a meeting, they would ask if I was going to stay for it. When I said "No", they would say, "oh."

I think that everybody has to respect the fact that people have lives outside of work, whether they have a spouse, and children or not. Work should be a small part of what makes you the person that you are. I use to say, "If I give everything to this job, what I am supposed to take home to my family?"

Shoot, even doctors are starting to take work less seriously (not that it's a good thing). They'll have you waiting in that room for an hour or more nowdays.

mgdzkm433 · #3 10-10-2000, 03:51 PM

I'm not an AKA, but I have been surfing through the forums looking for those XO post, to see if they spread to the individual sorority/fraternity forums, luckily I haven't come across one. Anyway, I saw this and I wanted to comment.

I also saw the beginning ot the Today show with that bit about childless workers. The lady 'denise' who said she took her vacation time to take care of her kids, or sick time or didn't get paid, she made a good point. She is taking the time she is allotted. However, she made the comment that the childless woman could take off to take care of her cat. This made me think. . . if I were to tell my employer that I needed to take off to take care of my cat, I would probably be critisized for it. I think a lot of work places are like this. What sounds worse, I'm taking time off to take care of my kids? OR I'm taking time off to take care of my cat? I garantee that employers will look down upon the person taking care of their cat. It just doesn't 'sound good' or sounds 'sketchy' and I think that is a problem.

Another point they brought up is companies are trying to be more family oriented. They are alloting more vaction time for people with kids, that is discriminatory.

What made me laugh though, One lady said that child-free people, by taking on more work at the workplace, are doing their duty because they are helping that child 'grow' into the future. She said that When we are all eighty, that child will be our doctor and we (childless people) should have a responsibility to make sure that child grows up the best doctor he/she can. Give me a break! All of a sudden now I"M responsible for my neighbor's kids too??? Whatever!

Anyway, I feel lucky in my 3 person office. I don't have to deal with this at all.

AKA_Monet · #4 10-10-2000, 08:30 PM

It is hard to say if the discrimination is blatant against single-childless people vs. married with children people in my profession. Of course I'm on a college campus and most folks are 20 somethings as students and 25-35 as graduate students and 35+ for professors/instructors. Initially, my professor would treat me differently because I was unmarried and no future for children. However, as more employees came into my place of work that had similar situations as to mine, he lightened up.

Maybe there is some jealousy fromboth sides: Single-childless want to be married with children and married with children want to be single-childless again, then single-parents may wish all of us to shut up...

AKA2D '91 · #5 10-10-2000, 08:44 PM

LOL.

I CAN UNDERSTAND THIS, BECAUSE A FEW YEARS AGO, WE SUFFERED SOME MAJOR FLOODING. THE schools in our district were closed. Needless to say, MOST of the co-workers, other than the administrators left to see about A,B,C,and D. You know who had to stay at school until most of the children had gone. I DID. Since I did not have any children, etc. I was to stay at school. I was like...DAYUM...you don' t know who I have to attend to, etc. I was really upset. I vowed that the NEXT time...I would not be caught like that...SINGLE OR NOT! Shout...I wanted to make sure that I could make it home safely just like everyone else....

Another incident...one of my students (orthopedically handicapped), but not too severe fell out of her chair...anyway...she needed to go to the hospital...It was near the end of the day, who had to go to the hospital with her? I did. I was like...DAYUM...I have things to do TOO! How long am I supposed to stay?

Just because you DO NOT HAVE A HUSBAND OR KIDS does not mean that you are ALWAYS available!

And if you do have a husband and children...that was a personal decision...if we work together, then it is YOUR responsibility to make arrangements, cause I refuse to do someone's job or cover for them ALL THE TIME, just because they have a child!

Dang...ya'll made me mad for a minute while I was typing this...LOL

Catwoman · #6 10-11-2000, 01:11 PM

A few years ago when I was single and childless and worked for the state...I noticed that parents could take what was called "administrative leave" once a month during work hours they could leave to attend student conferences, or their child's programs at school, etc. I asked my supervisor if I could just take that time off...since I had no children. She said no. I said didn't think that was fair and I explained....to make a long story short I was given the time off and could use it to spend time with the children at my church's after school program or to visit my God son at his daycare.