The Five Love Languages

SummerChild · #1 05-24-2006, 05:21 PM

Has anyone read "The Five Love Languages" by Gary Chapman? It's apparently all the craze. A friend of mine referred it to me and I found it very enlightening and helpful - and true. I can't wait for my SO to read it so he can more clearly understand me.

The gist is that we each have one primary love language (of the possible five listed in the book) and that although your partner may be doing his/her best to fulfill you, if he/she is not doing so in your love language, you may feel unappreciated and/or resentful or just generally unhappy in your relationship.

I think this book is a must read for all folk in relationships. I also think it could be helpful to those not in relationships to learn what you need from someone when you enter a relationship. Rather, these needs may be rooted in our language of love.

The five love languages are:
Words of Affirmation
Quality Time
Physical Touch
Acts of Service and
Receiving Gifts.

When I started reading, it was very enlightening b/c he opens your eyes to what these really are. For instance, Quality Time is not just being in each other's vicinity; rather, it is engaging with one another. Acts of Service can be seen in men/women who like for their sig. other to cook for them or help them clean, etc. as a sign of love, etc.

Additionally, he makes it plain that we really do connect these things to love. We are not necessarily just insecure and needing words of affirmation OR bored with our own lives and needing Quality Time or golddiggers and needing to Receive gifts.

What's your love language?
Mine is Quality Time.

SC

f8nacn · #2 05-24-2006, 05:54 PM

This has been discussed in the Zeta Phi Beta Forum.

Original Thread

SummerChild · #3 05-24-2006, 06:11 PM

F8nacn, is there anything else that I should do while you are directing me?

Is there anything else that I can do to please you? LOL. Do you direct my sorors that you meet face-to-face too?

SC

Quote:

Originally posted by f8nacn
This has been discussed in the Zeta Phi Beta Forum.

Post in this thread....always perform a search before you post

f8nacn · #4 05-24-2006, 07:41 PM

When I read your post, I skimmed it and skipped your signature line ...not noticing that you are a member of Alpha Kappa Alpha...Please forgive me, there was no disrespect intended in my response. I looked below (while replying) to see how many messages you have posted and because I didn't see anything, I thought you were a new member. I should have went back to double check prior to replying. Once again, I do apologize.

And no, I'm very respectful and courteous to the members I know in person so I will treat you, and everyone else here in the same manner.

PS...Edited to be more respectful...hopefully it has done that.

SKEEphistAKAte · #5 05-24-2006, 10:47 PM

I've read that book. I think it makes alot of sense. I am definitely a gift giver/receiver.

wrigley · #6 05-25-2006, 09:19 AM

I just picked up "The Five Love Languages For Singles" by Gary Chapman. I haven't read the first "The Five Love Languages".

AKA_Monet · #7 05-25-2006, 05:31 PM

I have another one of Gary Chapman's books "Toward a Growing Marriage" and "Covenent Marriages... Those are extremely helpful too...

I think Gary Chapman overall is one of the better "Marriage Enrichment" author's out there. There are a lot of bogus ones that have some stuff that is, well from my perspective, for the "illiterate"... But Gary Chapman is a better author.

Other authors who are pretty decent are:

Smart Marriages folks
Gottsman Institute...

EssenceofElle55 · #8 06-14-2006, 01:45 PM

SummerChild,

My hubbie and I both read the book together about a year ago. We already had a strong marriage and its only gotten better with the insight that this book offers. Hope your SO enjoys it.