Should I or Shouldn't I?

DG515 · #1 08-08-2003, 10:27 AM

Hey everyone,
For most of you, you know that I went away to work at Girl Scout Camp all summer, well, I'm back! :-) I'll have another post with some of the highlights, if you so desire (some of the girls were WAY too cute) but that's not the focus of this post, sadly enough.
I wrote a letter to one of my sisters (one of the few I actually talk to, that pretty well describes what I'm thinking, so i'll just post that here...)
Hey B
So I don't have a lot of time to chit chat, as you don't have much time to read my ramblings, but pretty much, the rest of what I was saying yesterday was that I'm tired of working my ass off and not getting "paid" for it. I know, you don't get paid in money, and obvioiusly, I don't expect that, but I'm talking in other realms. Half the girls in the chapter don't take time to be involved, even if they are supposed to be involved (aka, officers). When I was getting ready to leave to come here, I tried a number of different times to get some people to come hang out before I left and what happened?? Yeah, that's right, I hung out with the same 5 or 6 people that I always do. When I make a list of my close friends, at this point in my life, there are only maybe 4 Dg's on said list. 3. And that fact is expanded on by the fact that none of them are DG's anymore (or at least active). Becca moved away, Nikki's moving away, you're leaving, and Jen Stair has left as well. As of this moment, there's no one really left that I click with, or really, even talk to, ya know? The facts continue with the fact that I've kept in almost constant contact with just 2 people this summer. Nikki S and Don. Any of them my sisters? No. You know, the people that are supposed to be by you all your life, due to the sacred bonds of sisterhood, yeah, when you leave the state, for most of them, it's out of sight out of mind. I've been sending out these blanket emails all summer, letting people know what I'm up to, and you know who's responded? Thats right, maybe 1 sister, the rest are all other friends of mine. And I know, some situations are different than others, for example, I'm fully aware of your crap-computer :-) *I smile as I recall the nights we tried to talk online ;-) * and that you work all the time :-D and I know that there are others like you, but still, it's kind of ridiculous. And, I just now hear about Nikki going to Chicago?? And to find out from someone besides her.....::rolls her eyes:: When I read my email from Melissa saying that the table at SOAR was gone, due to lack of attendance, it pissed me off. It pissed me off in a severe way. We have 30 people in our chapter and we still had that problem? Where was Kristin with her emails reminding people they needed to be there? I mean, as Panhel person, she should be involved in that. Where was a reminder email from Melissa? As president, she should have been a little more active in her participation. Granted, we are all big girls, and I'm not excusing any of us from our responcibilities (even I'm at fault in a way, just taking off an leaving all summer) but their job responcibilities indicate some bonus responcibilities. HOw come Mel didn't know about the lack of attendance until it was too late? Shouldn't she, as president be concerned with our participation in the SOARs? I'm curious as to how many of her sessions she was at, and whether she went or not at all. These recruitment preps, I never get any reminder emails now. Are they just not coming anymore or am I not getting them because of being out of town? I spent my birthday dinner with my parents and Nikki S. I wasn't going to send out these mass emails begging people to come and hang out with me at dinner. I figured the people that cared enough to want to be there, would be there and they were. I've had more fun and more good times and more sincere times with the people I've worked with all summer than I have with the people I've called my sisters for almost a year now. When I left Ft. Wayne to come down here, I was sad for a mere handful of people. Don't get me wrong, I missed a lot more, but I was only honestly sad about a handful of people. And that was the people I see every day, or almost everyday, being as the fact that they would be the ones that my routine would be upset by not having there. When I leave here, you can be sure that I'll be crying for at least 2 days straight. I'm sadder about leaving here and going home to my FRIENDS and my FAMILY and my SISTERS than i was about leaving them to go to a place filled with strangers. Somethings wrong with that.
LITB
Boo T

Well, I can expand upon if you wish, but it's pretty much all there. I just don't know what I should do. Every one of my sisters I was close with is now officially gone. The rest of them, I never really talk to or hang out with (we are a commuter campus and don't have a house). The whole chapter seems, at least to me, to be falling apart around me. If I stay, I know I'll be one of the few people that actually work, and so I'll be trying to save a struggling chapter, working at my job (whatever that may be, i'm looking for a new one now), trying to pull my grades up, trying to do extra-cirricular activities that actually go towards my future *ie, newspaper and theater*. I feel like the way things are now, my chapter isn't supportive of me, or anyone, in the sense of making us better people and enriching our lives. It's turning into a second (and for some of us, a third) job that costs us money. I just don't know what to do. We had a Sigma Kappa and a Kappa Delta that I worked with all summer and I would talk to them about how I was feeling and that helped a little bit, but I love you guys and you've know me longer and you, obviously, know DG more....Any help at all would be appreciated. Sorry this is so long :-(
LITB
Mandie
aka, Boo T

sueali · #2 08-08-2003, 05:51 PM

I am so sorry to invade your board, please forgive me. I think the first year being in the sorority is a difficult one and emotions are still running high. When I took my first summer off from the sorority I was regretting going back, but after recruitment that year I had made some new connections with sisters. I did my four years as an undergrad and cried like a baby when I had to go alum. I guess what I'm trying to say is I had similar feelings as yours (we are a commuter campus, too) there are times when being in a sorority is hard, you know the drama and hard work but those feelings just made my experience so much more sweeter. I used to tell my sisters in my chapter who felt these types of feelings (everyone does at one time or another) would you quit your job just because you are putting in all the hard work and no one else is, or your boss is a b***h, No. I would say just hang in there because one year out of four isn't half way through and you don't know the experiences you'd be missing if you left now. Once again I am so sorry I invaded your board.
Good luck.
Fraternally, Susan

WhiteDaisy128 · #3 08-08-2003, 06:05 PM

Mandi! It's funny, if I'm ever frustrated with my sisters, I turn here to CG...why? Not really to vent but to remind me why I joined DG. Remember that DG is just not a local affiliation, yes, right now, your chapter sisters are, for the most part, the only DG's that you know...as time passes you will move on and meet others...the girls on GC here remind me of that!! DG is a national affiliation and there have been over 190,000 women initiated!! So just remember that it's bigger than your chapter...and if you hang in there and help your chapter in whatever way you can, then you will reap the rewards of a lifetime membership. No matter where you move, there will be a DG waiting with open arms...try to think of the future when things seem difficult. That's really the best advice I can give!

SonatinaDG · #4 08-08-2003, 10:17 PM

Hey Mandie,
I've definatly been in the situation you are now. There was a good month or two when I just wasn't sure I wanted to be there. Then i stuck it out during recruitment, and I really started to bond with girls that I didn't know very well. Also, try to make yourself more available. I know that when I was feeling like it wasn't worth it I sat back, didn't talk to anyone, and was pretty much in and out at required events. Once I was around my sisters more it'd made bonding a lot easier. And the first year is definatly the hardest, I really hope it gets better for you. Remember if you don't have your chapter you still have over 100,000 other DG's to be there for you.
Litb,
Stephanie

etahannah · #5 08-08-2003, 11:41 PM

steph...
i am so glad you stuck it out. i cant even imagine eta without you! i cant wait for bid day this year to remind me again of my first time seeing you after i got my bid!!! you are such a wonderful woman in some many ways. i know that others think the same and love having you around.

dg has its ups and downs...cause that is part of life. my life and your life. there are always challenges to great things and if you can make it through the hardest times, the easier ones are so much more sweeter in the end. we all joined delta gamma for various reasons, but one reason we all share: we felt at home. this is our home and sometimes you just have to remind yourself that home is where the heart is.

mandie...
i really hope you stick it out. i can tell that you still have a love and a passion for delta gamma....that will never go away! make the chapter what you want - it may seem like hard work, but in the end it will be all worth while. please keep us (well me at least) updated and turn to us like you have for help. i really hope everything works out in the end....

everything will be ok in the end. if its not ok, then it is not the end
famous words of one of eta's sisters

all my litb,
noreen

WhiteDaisy128 · #6 08-09-2003, 09:35 AM

Quote:

everything will be ok in the end. if its not ok, then it is not the end
famous words of one of eta's sisters

Noreen, I know it's early, but you just made my day!

hannahgirl · #7 08-09-2003, 09:57 AM

Mandie....
Hey sweetie! In every way, this is a difficult situation. But in all sincerity, many of us have experience something like it. In my four years in DG, I haven't always felt like the one that was included in things....and sometimes now I don't, but that is when you have the chance to look at what you have and basically do what you are doing now. Friendships come and go, right now it is time for some to go, but it is giving you and opportunity to build those all important bonds with the rest of your sisters. Many of my close friends have graduated, or moved on with their lives....some I talk to regularly, some unfortunately we have lost touch with each other, but I have taken the opportunity given to me to get closer to the current women in the chapter. It all takes time, but I totally know that you can take this opportunity and run with it. Look at what you have in GC right now, we all have this bond because we can freely talk to each other about what is bothering us, and I think that is wonderful and exactly what sisters are all about!

I agree with Noreen....mostly because the minute Katie said this quote, I have learned to live by it....

I just have to repeat it!!! Everything is ok in the end, if it's not ok, it's not the end....

LITB,
Andrea

etahannah · #8 08-09-2003, 10:55 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by WhiteDaisy128

Noreen, I know it's early, but you just made my day!

yea!! that makes me so happy!! glad that made your day!!

***does the happy day dance!!**

SonatinaDG · #9 08-10-2003, 08:22 PM

Quote:

steph...

It's the little things like that, that make DG amazing.
Noreen, That totally made my weekend

Thanks so much, it's nice to hear that from one of your sisters. And when you came to see me at the football game, I'm surprised we didn't fall down the stairs! hehe I was soooo excited you got your bid

You're so much fun to have around.

Litb, lots of it,
Steph

SonatinaDG · #10 08-10-2003, 08:24 PM

Quote:

I am so glad you stuck it out. i cant even imagine eta without you! i cant wait for bid day this year to remind me again of my first time seeing you after i got my bid!!! you are such a wonderful woman in some many ways. i know that others think the same and love having you around.

That's what the quote was supposed to be...I"m still figuring this thing out.
silly technology

hannahgirl · #11 08-11-2003, 12:21 AM

I totally know what you mean Steph.....I haven't even tried any of the quoting and changing fonts and stuff. the signature is as far as i go!! lol!

guess what! we move in the house in 5 days! i'll be there....will you??? its gonna be a rockin good semester! maybe too much fun

litb,
me!

DG515 · #12 08-13-2003, 11:47 AM

I went to one of my sisters b-day parties. It was kind of nice being back and all, but still a little unnerving. I don't know if it's just being back in "normal society" or what, but I just felt....I don't know...different. I spent a lot of time on the balcony because I could barely stand being inside (THANK YOU OUTDOORS! :-) YOU'VE MADE ME CLAUSTRAPHOBIC!) Granted, some of my feelings have been disconfirmed (being around my sisters made me feel good) but we do have a fireside this weekend, so I think I'll express some of my concerns then. Better time than never.
LITB
Mandie