About COB

twhrider13 · #1 09-29-2003, 02:41 PM

Hey, ladies! I know this thread may be coming just a little late, since most schools' formal recruitment is already over, but I just wanted to say something to all the PNMs out there. If you are cut from rush, please, please, please, PLEASE do not give up altogether. I was dropped from rush during the first round of invitationals, and believe me, I was devastated. My Rho Chi suggested COB to me when she called to tell me that I had no invitations, and I just said, "Ok, sure," to get her to hang up so I could go be alone and cry. After that initial disappointment wore off, I was pretty angry. Out of the five chapters on my campus, I was in love with two of them, and I totally had my heart set on one of the two. My thinking was basically, "Well, if they didn't want me during rush, then I don't want them any other time." Besides, going back after I'd already been cut seemed a little desperate to me, so I just said, "Forget it." The day after rush, I received an email from the Vice President of the chapter whom I adored the most, inviting me to COB. At first, I dismissed the idea, but then I got to thinking about it. If they had gone to the trouble to contact me, then they must want me, right? So I called her and talked to her. She told me that for some reason or another, many PNMs were not placed during rush, although there were only about 70-80 PNMs and five sororities to choose from. So I decided that maybe it wasn't really anything against me, and I told her that I would be at their COB event. To make a long story short, I fell even more in love with this chapter, and I was invited to pledge two days later. (If anyone wants to read the whole long story, the link is http://forums.greekchat.com/gcforums...threadid=38364 )

Anyway, the point I'm trying to make here is not to limit your options. For one thing, COB is much more laid back, and it's easier by far to get to know the sisters. I was lucky that the chapter I loved so much was the smallest on campus, and these women frequently hold COB events. I know this is reiterating what a lot of people have already said, but I wanted to say it, anyway. When I realize that my stubborn pride could have kept me from joining my beautiful DZ sisters, I want to cry. So, anyway, ladies, please look into COB. The sisters are not completely in control of who they can and cannot give invitations to during recruitment. They vote on PNMs, of course, but once the papers (or whatever) leave their hands, it is out of their control. Whether the reason is an error on the part of Panhellenic or the individual chapters (they're only human, after all!), or just the fact that quota happens to be low the particular year that you are rushing, they may be just as heartbroken about doing the cutting as you are about being cut.

Anyway, sorry about the length of this message, and now back to our regular programming!

ztabchbum · #2 09-29-2003, 02:55 PM

VERY well said! Going through COB is a wonderful experience and if anyone out there was cut during rush or didn't go through rush, COB is a GREAT opportunity that shouldn't be passed up.

honeychile · #3 09-29-2003, 03:02 PM

I'm going to go out on a limb and say that your post is a must read! You've said it much better than someone who hasn't been there could possibly say.

Thank you!!

FSUZeta · #4 09-29-2003, 03:42 PM

what a wonderful testimony to keeping an open mind AND heart! many, many congratulations to you and to delta zeta. it sounds like they have a terrific new member! lisa

2blue · #5 09-29-2003, 06:15 PM

COB is a wonderful way to have the sorority and the pnm to relax and have fun deciding if there is a bond between the 2.

Congratulations onyour new sisterhood!

33girl · #6 09-29-2003, 11:21 PM

Bumping this post because it is awesome!!!! Thanks Randi!!

BadSquirrelBeta · #7 09-30-2003, 12:57 AM

to you Randi--very well said!!! You are already a great rusher for the Greek system...what a lucky chapter the DZs are to pledge you!! Best wishes to you!!

AXORissa · #8 09-30-2003, 09:47 AM

although I went through informal rush and not COB, my chapter is BIG on COB (Most chapters on campus hold COB parties, very few make quota, its the way our Recruitment is held, I think). We have gotten our best women through COB, including both of my littles! So, especially if your school is like mine, and you dont even get the opportunity to SEE all the houses during Recruitment, go to a COB party. The women will get to know you through a more comfortable environment, and you have nothing to lose. If the chapter still doesn't offer you a bid, it wasn't meant to be. But maybe you'll see something in a chapter you discredited early on.

Also, on that note-- I cut my chapter when I went through Formal Rush in the Spring. I dropped out of rush after I was cut by my number 1 choice, although I was invited to two other preference parties. However, I decided the next semester to give them a try again, at informal recruitment, when I decided Alpha Chi was the only place for me. I cried when I got my bid, and cried more when my best friend got hers!

I dont know how I got off on this tangent, but I guess my point is that you may have been cut from Recruitment, in part because you (a general you, not the original poster) may have cut certain chapters at the beginning. Give those chapters another try at COB (instead of waiting a semester like I did, hehe)

-Rissa

Buttonz · #9 09-30-2003, 05:40 PM

Please don't totally give up with COB. I have a story that is a little diffrent from some of those above...I rushed and pledged a local, who I dropped for many reasons. I then went ahead and contected a national on campus XYZ, who didn't give me a bid. I was so fed up that I was about to give up totally on the idea of becoming part of greek life when I came across the local SDT's chapter webpage. Thinking that nothing would come from it, I filled out a form for intrested girls. Guess what? Within a few min, not only did I get an IM from a sister, but we wound up on the phone for close to an hour. I met up with her the next day, and 4 days later signed my bid card. Thinking how much I have gained from SDT, it's hard to imagine what I would be doing if I didn't fill otu that form.

LouisaMay · #10 09-30-2003, 06:08 PM

Quote:

I dont know how I got off on this tangent, but I guess my point is that you may have been cut from Recruitment, in part because you (a general you, not the original poster) may have cut certain chapters at the beginning. Give those chapters another try at COB (instead of waiting a semester like I did, hehe)

-Rissa [/B]

So true! I dropped a group out of necessity (because I was only allowed to attend 3 parties and was invited to 4), and now I am pursuing AI for that organization. Something about those women has stuck with me all these years, and I want to end the "if-onlys" that have been going through my head every since.

Seize every opportunity to learn more.

LM

liltrish21 · #11 10-04-2003, 02:34 PM

im actualyy cobbing right now at my school and to tell you the truth i feel more comfy doing Cob then i did with formal rush. i can actually not get nervous and be myself its amazing

.. hopefully a good outcome will come from this though and ill get a bid from the sorority im cobbign right now !

texas*princess · #12 10-04-2003, 03:15 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by liltrish21
im actualyy cobbing right now at my school and to tell you the truth i feel more comfy doing Cob then i did with formal rush. i can actually not get nervous and be myself its amazing .. hopefully a good outcome will come from this though and ill get a bid from the sorority im cobbign right now !

best of luck to you liltrish!!

twhrider13 · #13 10-04-2003, 03:39 PM

Good luck, liltrish! And you're right, COB is a more comfortable situation. I know that I am a very shy person, and I think COB gave both my sisters and me a chance to get to know each other better without the intimidation factor of formal recruitment. I hope you find your home, sweetie!