Do Right Man

[PinkCashmere]

O.K. Ladies, as you know I like to read and I am currently reading "Do Right Man" by Omar Tyree. Now, this book is about a man who is the sensitive, nice guy type. He has many female friends. He is learning how to not be a pushover. As I began reading the book, I found myself saying out loud (as if he could hear me) - "Stop being a punk!! Stand up and be a man!" I am nearing the end of the book and he is learning, however some of the examples of his naivete are exasperating. From love to career he let's people run all over him.

I don't want to give the story away too much to those who haven't read it, but ladies, let's discuss what makes a man a good catch. Sexy Mocha started a discussion on "Signs Your Man Loves You" that got sorors, sisterfriends and others talking about the men in their lives. So, the questions are:
1. What makes a man a good catch?
2. Why do so many women go after the "Bad Boy" "Playa" types and get dogged out over and over again while letting the good men go.
3. What makes some men the "just a friend" type?



[This message has been edited by PinkCashmere (edited July 26, 2000).]

[AKA2D '91]

Qualiites of a good catch:

God-Fearing
Respectful to ALL
Loves unconditionally
hard worker-LOVES to work
intelligent (book smarts and street smarts)
dependable
provider
responsible

If a hurricane hits today or tomorrow and there are no banks open... can he provide for us? Can he go out and make a few dollars (legally?) during a crisis like that...

[Cookee]

Cashmere:

I read Do Right Man also and I just had to *smh* at how naive he could be. One pet peeve of mine is when people attempt to run over you and those who allow people to run over them.

The one thing that makes me see a man as a "good catch" besides him being a God-fearing, caring, trusting man who loves himself and cares about his family is one that is willing to provide and care for his family. Even if he has kids by someone other than his wife. (That's another thread though).

Take Care,
Cookee

[PinkCashmere]

To answer my own questions.
1. He knows who he is as a person. He has a good relationship with the Lord. He can effectively communicate! He takes care of himself - mind, body & soul. He's responsible, intelligent, patient, and loves his mate for who she is as a person. He knows that love is not simply a feeling. He knows that intimacy doesn't all the time mean sex. He can give his mate what she needs - friendship, trust, honesty, respect, make her feel like she is a queen, etc....

2. In my opinon women tend to go for the bad boy and playa types because it seems exciting until your heart and feelings are shattered. Why women repeat the trend? -- I don't know. It says something about the woman though if all she is attracting are dogs. If you put out dog food......

3. Some guys are just friends because maybe they can't give what is needed at that time.

[Professor]

Here we go - - -

Let me address this from another perspective. I am a good catch because:

I love the Lord, know him for myself and acknowledge him for all that he has and will do;
I work for what I want and take pride in my efforts;
I'm in touch with my feelings and don't blame the man or anyone else for my failures;
I respect my mother because my father made me and thus I respect all women;
I have my own agenda and don't need a crew to guide my actions or direction;
I may not know everything but I'm not stupid and no one can make me feel that way;
I have self-esteem and don't need to be stroked at every turn; and finally
Although I think I'm together I'm not to big headed to appreciate others, help others or
acknowledge my own faults.

"000006666"

[Sexy Mocha]

Professor, that was simply beautiful!

[LadyAKA]

Hey Professor, speaking like Kim's mother on that show on channel 9 (lord it is tooooo late for me to be at work). Anyway, I loved your comments. When a 'MAN' is not afraid to speak openly about himself I appreciate it ... especially when he loves the lord and knows his limits... so when can we hook up

[LadyAKA]

Just joking yall, and the name of the show is 'The Parkers'

peace!!

[tickledpink]

To add to the list:

He..

*is God-Fearing and loves the Lord.

*understands what God really meant about submission and does not try to use the Bible scripture about submitting "thyself to thine husband" to pull rank.

*has learned from experience that sometimes the best way to win an argument is to just remain silent.

*understands that even the sweetest woman may turn into Sybil from time to time, and does not take this personally.

*knows that PMS is NOT a myth

*offers to rub your back (no strings attached --- ) when you are going through PMS (or MS) pains.

*is established in his career, and if he is not, he at least has an action plan.

*would be an excellent father. He'll teach your son that it is ok to cry, but not ok to be a wimp (and tells him the difference between the two).

*shows you that chivalry is not dead...

*has respect for his mother ---ladies if he's mouthing of to or about his mother, that's warning sign #1.

*knows you well enough to understand which questions are merely rhetorical, and which ones merit an honest opinion (like the famous --- "you know, I think I've gained weight...")

and finally ----

**tickledpink smiles a sly smile***understands that your money is your money and his money is your money!! (I am JUST KIDDING about that one --- it's late now and I'm going to bed!)



------------------
>>>"Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all."
Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised... Proverbs 31:29-30

[This message has been edited by tickledpink (edited July 28, 2000).]

[PinkCashmere]

Professor,
You are indeed a GREAT catch! Your girlfriend/wife is very blessed to have you in her life.

[AKA2D '91]

Tickeled Pink:

I think you just SUMMED it ALL up, girl!

Amen to ALL of that!

[vanda]

Professor, If I could bottle you and put you on the market, I would be giving Bill Gates a run for his money as being one of the top young millionaires( don't worry,I'll split all profits fifty\fifty.) Can I clone you? Well if that's too much can I have a strand of your hair, I'll do my own DNA makeup on you LOL.

[Cookee]

Greetings All:

Has anyone read the book, How and Why Men Cheat by Micheal Baisden? It's a pretty good read and he does educate a bit. He explores the question pretty thoroughly on why women choose the "bad guys". I'd recommend it to anyone.

Take Care,
Cookee

[Sexy Mocha]

Ditto, Vanda!

[onesavvydiva]

Sexy Mocha...you just broke a record...That was your shortest post!!!!