Fraternity Guy Sterotype...

[josh8o]

Have you ever been in a situation where a non-greek person pulls out the "fraternity guys are all..." comments?

I just left a discussion/debate with a good, non-greek, friend of mine. She was trying to make a point about how not all college guys often date-rape girls, but the guys she decided to use as her example of guys who are most likely to do this was the fraternity guy. I don't know if it was a slip of the tongue, or if she had some alternative motive, but it was not a smart comment. It helped having my friend from TKE sitting there too because we both know it happens, but we also know its a small, small, small percentage of the population-no more that what is expected from the entire male population.

Anyway, I just thought I would share....Anyone else have this happen with non-greek friends?

It just happened to me the other day.

My campus has a WEAK Greek system. The strongest fraternity on campus happens to be a local one that pretty much fulfills every known fraternity guy stereotype.

So my non-Greek friend and I were having lunch the other day and we got into a discussion about hazing and alcohol and how it affects the Greek system's reputation.

[I apologize now for my slight use of profanity, but I'm just being real...]

Friend: Frat guys are nothing but drunk, horny bastards.

Me: I know there are guys out there who are like that, but you really shouldn't generalize them like that. I know a lot of them that joined their organizations for other things..and not partying and drinking.

Friend: Oh whatever. That's bullshit. How would you know guys like that? The [insert UH fraternity name here] are always getting in trouble for parties at their house.

Me: Because, dumbass...I've been to the mainland and met some of these guys. They seem like perfect gentlemen to me.

[5 minutes pass and I'm still trying to convince her...]

Then...

Enter [insert UH fraternty name here] peeons through the Campus Center. They're carrying 3 empty kegs tied to long sticks. Their peeons are all wearing togas while their "lead peeon" is banging a gong. What are they doing? They're passing out flyers for their "TRIPLE CHUG PARTY". I'm intentionally leaving out some parts because what they did afterwards is not appropriate to post on GC.

My friend looks at them and then looks at me... all I could do was roll my eyes. Their president, after seeing me in my letters, approaches me with a bunch of flyers to pass out to the sisters. I waited till he was gone before I went and dumped em in the trash. Sorry, but that act was just disgusting.

I know it's difficult to make people not believe stereotypes, but I can at least try... it's really disheartening to see Greeks living up to these stereotypes. It's because of their actions that give what little Greek life we have here at UH a bad name...and that really pisses me off.

[DeltAlum]

The two of you have just, pehaps unintentionally, defined a large part of the problem.

We work long and hard to try to overcome the stereotype and then a few dorks set us back to the stone age.

Be sure you're not being one of the dorks.

[LeslieAGD]

Originally posted by DeltAlum
The two of you have just, pehaps unintentionally, defined a large part of the problem.

We work long and hard to try to overcome the stereotype and then a few dorks set us back to the stone age.

Be sure you're not being one of the dorks.

Amen! I was thinking the same thing!

[Tom Earp]

OTW, I am glad U held in your researve to keep from RIPPIN his face OFF! Moronic Butt Heads!

Well NOW, I have 2 Hulla AGD Ladys to talk To!

[DeltAlum]

I just read my post above and realized that it could be assumed that I was talking to Josh or Teeny.

No so.

I was talking to everyone else -- including myself.

Remember that stereotypes generally don't just happen. There's usually some basis in fact.

[mdshoreboy]

2 Issues I see with that:

(1) Fraternities cannot sell brotherhood, they have to sell fun and a good time. For those guys, sadly, their fun exists in the realm of alcohol overload. Eventually that guy will outgrow it but by then the new batch of bros will pick up where he left off.

(2) No one is holding them accountable for their actions. What is the chapter president doing to uphold the fraternity mission? Are they holding enough other events to establish a balance?

---

Fraternities have all kinds of images, not just ones I would refer to that incident as "Meat Heads." It's kind of natural for a fraternity to accumulate brothers of a like mindset. Take this into consideration, we have the dork fraternities, the high class fraternities, a plethora of honors fraternities, oh and don't for the jock fraternities.

Furthermore, who cares what your other friends will say. I remember before I became a brother how all my friends were attacking me for rushing. However, I still make time to hang out with them and we're just as close as before. It's just a weird movement in our society to go against the established organizations.

Fraternities might need to work on building a grass-roots kind of image if they want to win back the favor of the entire country.

That's my 3 cents.


Lambda Chi Alpha
Phi-Delta Zeta (UMBC)
Baltimore, MD

[FuzzieAlum]

It's true, there are all these fraternity stereotypes, and the worst thing is, people viewed exceptions as proving the rule. Like on my campus, the Phi Delts were the football players, the Fijis were partiers, and the Theta Chis were the computer nerds. Now people used the first two chapters (both composed of nice guys by the way!) to "prove" that all frat boys, so to speak, were drunken jocks. And the Theta Chis, you know, they're just not a "real" fraternity. Or you'd get (from girls you wanted to rush), "Sure, I like all of you, but I don't like what sororities are REALLY like, so I don't want to join."

It was like every bad thing (or thing that was stereotypical even if not bad) was "proof" that Greeks were bad/snobby/drunk, and anything to the contrary was an "exception." It didn't matter how many exceptions piled up, it was always that, well, chapter X is different, person Y is different, or our campus is different - but that all the rest of the Greeks out there must conform to my preset ideas!

[33girl]

I make it a point not to befriend people who make stupid, discriminatory comments. If they slip, I point out the error of their ways...if they persist, I don't need them in my life. Period.

Anyone who can't see past media stereotypes or one bad experience, and conducts their life that way, is one sorry ass loser. They'll cheat themselves out of a lot of experiences.

[BearyCuteAPhi]

Well what can I say...There will always be people like that , that judge all greeks for the actions of some. It will be very hard to change that but we can certainly try!

GO GREEK!!!


Ronnie

[Delta_theta]

[QUOTE]Originally posted by mdshoreboy
[B]2 Issues I see with that:

(1) Fraternities cannot sell brotherhood, they have to sell fun and a good time. For those guys, sadly, their fun exists in the realm of alcohol overload. Eventually that guy will outgrow it but by then the new batch of bros will pick up where he left off.

(2) No one is holding them accountable for their actions. What is the chapter president doing to uphold the fraternity mission? Are they holding enough other events to establish a balance?

---

I have to disagree with this point. Brotherhood is one of the things that IS sold on my campus. We have 5 fraternities and 2 Sororities. (at one time, we had 7-5, and are starting to build back up. we've gone from 20% male greek, to 52, though the female average is still steady at a small 17%, low because of a lack of options(said a number of non-greek women)) Out of the 7 houses, only the fraternities have houses they can live in(something the sororities are trying to remedy, with full support from most of the houses), and out of those, 1 is always dry(phi delta theta), one is conditionaly dry until the end of this year(Sigma Nu), and the other three are not dry. Or at least, not in practice. Each house on campus has their reputation, and the reality. Unfortunatly, there is a student anti-greek sentiment from a small group of students, supported by a small group of faculty, but the administration has turned pro-greek in recent times(as many of them are not only greek, but greek alums from this campus). The anti-greek sentiments are founded in steriotypes, that are strengthened by the occasional mistake.

One of the things I learned at College of Chapters this past summer(Sigma Nu's training program for delegates from all our chapters) is how to push things in rush that aren't "c+p" Or chicks and parties. Our rush this year was completely non-chicks and parties. It was founded in brotherhood and our ideals. through these things, we managed to gain the second biggest candidate class out of the 5 fraternities, some of which pushed chicks and parties, and some of which didn't. A couple fraternities on our campus, through athletics, and other "training" camps that start before the rest of the school year, gather pledge classes, in an informal manner of having people say "yes, I'll rush you" basicaly before the offical school year starts. Be that based in friendship, or the possibly parties that those two houses throw, I'd say its more the former than the latter, since no parties are thrown at that time. They are called pre-(xxxx) (house nickname) during fall term here, as it is known who they are going to rush. Though a couple fraternities use chicks, parties, and drinks to bring in pledges, we don't, and in the last 4 years, have had some of the biggest classes out of all the houses on campus. A successful campaign needs no bribes.

M.
Sigma Nu,
Knox College

[GreekLetterGirl]

Delta Theta
What a well written post and I am so glad that you do use the postive rushing techniques.. good job guys,

[LXAAlum]

Same here - kudo's Delta Theta....

Any fraternity can rush on the parties and girls aspect - that is (sometimes unfortunately) the only known outside perception of fraternity membership.

Where the payoff in QUALITY comes from is being smart, and advertising the additional benefits of membership beyond what prospective members already think they "know" about us. I'm sure this is an effective technique in weeding out those that are there just to drink and get L**d....and retaining those that are looking for something "more" to being a member of something...

Excellent job - I hope more chapters start to pick up on this marketing idea!

[Betarulz!]

Had this pulled on me last night while hanging out with my bros, a couple new pledges and a couple girls.

Started talking to this girl that I'd never seen before and is a roommate of one of my pretty good friends for the summer (they're staying at the AGS house). We start talking about majors and I tell her that I'm a sociology/pre-med with a bio minor. She goes "are you kidding?"

Now this didn't necessarily bother me b/c it's unusual to find a pre-med sociology major, so I usually have to explain that. So I start explaining, and mid way through she goes "oh you really are a pre-med, doesn't that mean you have to be smart." At this point I'm kinda confused, a little due to the alcohol, a lot due to what this chick is saying. I'm like, "yeah, I guess" and she says, "aren't you supposed to be like a finance or business major then?" at this point, I'm really unsure of what she's getting at...

then she says it. "I thought all fraternity guys were business students b/c that's the easiest coursework, and leaves the most time for having parties." Now I'm no business major, but I know that there are some difficult courses in every major...it wouldn't be college if there weren't. Further, I have some extremely intelligent friends who are in the College of Business Admin. and I didn't appreciate her calling them stupid or saying that the only reason they were there was so they drink more often. Finally, I didn't appreciate the whole generalization that a) we're stupid (my house GPA was a 3.516 afterall) or b) that all we care about is drinking.

I just ended the conversation by walking away, but it really bothered me.

BTW this girl was a GDI

[PSK480]

Originally posted by mdshoreboy
2 Issues I see with that:

(1) Fraternities cannot sell brotherhood, they have to sell fun and a good time. For those guys, sadly, their fun exists in the realm of alcohol overload. Eventually that guy will outgrow it but by then the new batch of bros will pick up where he left off.

(2) No one is holding them accountable for their actions. What is the chapter president doing to uphold the fraternity mission? Are they holding enough other events to establish a balance?

If one of your strong points is brothehood, sell it. Think about it, do you really want a brother who is only there to party? Live your values and sell your values. If you live your values, people will see that and you won't have to seel anyone, they'll come to you b/c they want to be a part of it.

If no one is holding them accountable, you do it. If you change your chapter and follow your values the chapters not keeping up and living their values will die off or have their charters revoked. Thus the stereotype is slowly killed off. We hold the key to killing these stereotypes in our actions. Live your values get others to live them and you'll make your greek COMMUNITY better.