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Welcome to our newest member, samuelpetrvoz32 |
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07-20-2002, 02:38 PM
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: San Francisco, California
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Revisiting a hookup-is it as good as the first time?
Here's the situation:
You meet a girl/guy one night, you both really hit it off, and one thing leads to another and you both end up getting horizontal. It's all good, and both parties have fun, but you realize that it was a one time deal, and that's cool. Well, a little time goes by...and WAM! You see the person again. You talk, and somehow you get on the subject of that night (or hours, or hour) spent of passion. You both acknowledge that, "Hey, it was fun, and I've thought about you since then", and you both decide that maybe Round 2 is in order.
So there the two of you are, anticipating that lightning will strike again...you go to do the deed...and the fireworks aren't there! You both know it, but neither of you wants to say anything, so it is a VERY uncomfortable situation. Not that it's BAD, but just like most sequels, it's not as good as the original.
Then you start to wonder...Why? Was I just drunk/horny/lonely/needy the first time? Then what happens if you see the person again on campus, or at another party? Do you avoid them? Knowing that there will never be a Round 3, do you laugh it off? What to do???
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07-20-2002, 03:43 PM
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Join Date: Sep 1999
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You just have to admit to yourself that your sexual technique was lacking . . . and that the first time the alcohol and horniness made up for it.
Seriously though, it sounds like you guys went for the gold with insufficient foreplay. So when you have little real rapport and not much built up sexual tension, its important to really work the pre game angle.
Guys, I can't stress enough the all important nature of rapidly escalating intense foreplay.
Also a couple of glasses of wine first may have been a good idea.
You might want a rematch though . . . I would
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07-20-2002, 09:37 PM
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Join Date: Dec 2001
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hmmm...good question
Well, when you see them again, it's ok to chat because if you both feel like it's not going anywhere, then you won't have to deal with that side of it, it'll just be a friendly hello but you don't necessarily have to reminisce about the event. I mean, is it really something that deserves being revisited as a topic of conversation if it was that lack luster?! But at the same time, maybe you should just ignore the person simply because a bad hookup is always how you'll remember them, even if the first time was amazing, and that's kind of hard to swallow for some people.
At any rate, I'd just say hello, if the person acted like they wanted to speak more then go with what you're comfortable. That way you won't look like an ass for not acknowledging her. And in my personal opinion, it's always worth another shot, unless it was just unbearably boring/awful/etc. because I just can't bear someone thinking MY technique was lacking, and you know you always remember the worst (usually).
Tara
I have a Phi Mu castle...
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07-22-2002, 01:23 AM
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See, I wanted to hear from women, 'cause ya'll know the score!!! I agree that there is always some sort of emotional bond (unless the guy is a total a**hole and just using the girl), but I think that for the most part, just like in movies, the sequel is never as good as the original (except for Godfather Part II which was just as good as the original Godfather, but Godfather III was awful!)
So it's better to talk about it, and who knows, maybe there could be a friendship or something (But as Billy Crystal said in "When Harry Met Sally, "Men and women can't be friends, cause the sex thing keeps getting in the way")...
And by the way, I would be hard pressed to find ANY guy (even James) who has NEVER had a bad session. HE might think that it was good, but ask his partner and...
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07-22-2002, 01:04 PM
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Most "ladies" I know are not into hook-ups, aka casual sex, as you put it without some level of emotional involvement.
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07-22-2002, 02:29 PM
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Now this is a good thread! Here is my two cents.
The thing about a drunken-random hookup is this, When you both are wasted the first time you both know that sex is what will ultimately happen so why waste time talking schmack and saying stupid things like " So what year are you?" "Are you going to go to grad school here?" "Are you in a sorority?" These things should have been asked at the bar and more than likely were, if you have any sense of starting up a conversation. I will give you an example of a night that went in my favour. I was at this club called Plasma Lounge, it kinda resembles something you would see out in San Fransisco. I was with 6 of my brothers and on this night it seemed as though many greeks were at this club. I saw this girl who looked like a greek barbie doll only she had hair straight as a board. Blonde as it could get. Another words, instant turn on for me. I watched her game plan as many of men tried to hit on her. They all came up with stupid questions to start a converstaion. After giving all the other guys a shot ( cause I'm a fair man) I made my move. As I walked I tried to keep my composer after the 12 shots of KamiKazees i had. now all my brothers are watching me and think I'm going to get shut down since all the others did. Instead of asking a stupid question, I made a statement. I walked up to her and grabbed her by the arm and wispered in her ear, " You are almost as sexy as me." I then gave her a kiss on the cheek and pinched the top of her ass and walked off. I looked back once and she had a big smile on her face. A few minutes later she came up to me and said, "My names Tiffany", I said, "You look like a tiffany" I then asked her if she wanted to go have a shot with me. I soon found out she was in the rival sorority of one of my ex's. This meant i was treading on thin Ice. Well we had our shots and one turned into 6 shots of Jaegermeister for her and 6 liquid Cocaines for me. That was a total of 18 shot for me that night. I didn't feel that bad cause she finished off a bottle of Stolichnaya Vanilla with one of her sisters before they came to the club. needless to say we were both wasted. She asked what I was doing afterwards and I told her we're having an afterparty at my place, have a guy deejaying and plenty of alcohol. It must have been fate cause when they arrived one of her sisters knew two brothers of mine which in my eyes was the green light for me to "show" Tiffany my room. We didnt really tell anyone anything, nor did anyone ask. I think everyone was about to get their groove on in my place. As soon as the door locked it was game time. She started coming at me with this Snobby air-head like accent that had a hint of South-Florida in it. I LOVED it. However I wasn't in the mood for talking and I quickly transformed myself into the man in those kinky little love novels that women sometimes read. I was so caught up in the build up to an all nighter that I forgot to put on my love potion number 9 mix,its supposed to make any female want a man for hours and is guarenteed to get you laid or your money back. I took my chances an didnt stop to put it on. I will be the first to admit that I hesitated for a minute though. I started seeing this girl as the female version of me and got alittle scared thinking she could be playing a game this whole time and I would be the one who got used, I know how chicks think and some do say to their friends " He thinks he played me, but I'm the one who let him think that so I can get my booty call." This girl was too much like me, we had the same sense of humour, made the same snotty ass remarks to people and both knew how to play shit out. I kinda felt like I met my match there for a minute. Whatever the case was all insecureness was soon dispelled when she put her hair up in a pony tail upon my request ( Guys know when this happenes it's going to be awhile before you get to bed.) From there on out it was like a contest of who can make the most porn star noises, or so we were told. I also have this thing where I talk alot during sex and after sex asking sexual questions. It somewhat makes a girl feel more comfortable to be open about things during and after sex, rather than before. The pinacle of my escapade was during round 6 and something extraordinary happened. The subject let out this loud "Uummmmmmhhhhhh" and fell on top of me and didn't move. Being as drunk as I was, I thought I hurt her or something and got kinda scared. Then she started snoring and I started laughing my ass off and was I was like "YESSSSS!" for I knew what had just happened. I had always made sure a female would get her fair share in play time but never had I broke a girl down like that. I called my boys and left them all messages of what just happened. I mean sure any guy that knows what he's doing can "help" a woman out. But to break one down to the point where it is instantaneous pass out as it happenes is very rare from what I've been told. The next afternoon when we awoke she was in that playful mood women get sometimes in the morning when they wake up next to their man. Aparently she had been trying to wake me for sometime and when she finally did I jumped up and ran nakked to the frig to get the Fierce Grape gatorade since I was dehydrated so bad. As I came back to my room I felt alittle different and kinda pissed at myself for hooking up with a girl from the rival sorority of most of my ex's, I knew somehow I had to get her out ASAP before someone saw her at my place. I walked in my door and she had this smile on her face and was like "come here and give me a kiss" I was like "uhhh I got to pee, hold on". She being just like me, I think she caught on to my hint real quick and put on her clothes by the time I came out of the bathroom. We said good bye and exchanged phone numbers. Now this story is tied to this thread because of the second part.
Part 2.
After talking to Tiffany for a few days, she busted me in a lie. I told her I was going to stay home and study for a test one night. In reality I was going to a Woodsor with a certain girl from the "You-know-what" sorority. It was just my luck that it was Tiffany's sorority that was doing with this other sorority. You can imagine the look on her face when she saw me out there with this other girl. It was a big cat fight. At first I acted like she was just a friend but since many girls didnt like each other in opposite sororities it was soon the grounds for many bitch outs between girls there. Somehow I talked my way back into the favour of the girls I'm loyal to and made out like those others are just trying to start shit up since they don't like each other. Meanwhile tiffany is in disbelief and has this look on her face like she might seriously damage something of mine, mainly my car ( which at this time I had just got from germany.) I don't know if it was good or bad but we had to take buses out there and no one could drive. In one aspect I had to stay there and face the music and in another I didnt have my car there so it was safe. Anyhow, the second encounter with her was horrible and luckily I came out on top. The bad thing is that whole sorority hates me and I seriously think my name is one their list of males to get back one day ( I know every sorority has one). The good thing is that it made me look like a stud, staying with the girls from the You-know-what sorority. It strengthened my ties to them.
*Note* I would not advise any inexpierenced studs to get wound up in a mess like this. Very few of us know what to say and do when the time is right. That situation could have went extremely bad for me and I could easily have wound up being the guy who ALL greek women hated in Gainesville.
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07-22-2002, 04:17 PM
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Do you know how I might get in touch with a represenative from those two organizations? I guess the thing that has stopped me from writing for them is the matter of taking the time out to try and get ahold of someone from those magazines and send in a sample of my writing.
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07-22-2002, 08:50 PM
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Hmmmm . . I wouldn't know anything about this type of thing  But If I wanted to write an off color article to maxim or something I would address it as a letter to the editor in the guise of a freelance article. I might even construct a a fake little biography with "credentials" and would only submit it with a pseudonym.
If you are serious you should write several articles and think about mailing them to the various men's magazines. Also, if you contact them by email or phone you can find out their submission requirements, or if they will even accept unsolicited articles.
Good luck.
But you may need to polish your writing style a little bit LOL.
Quote:
Originally posted by UF_PikePC98
Do you know how I might get in touch with a represenative from those two organizations? I guess the thing that has stopped me from writing for them is the matter of taking the time out to try and get ahold of someone from those magazines and send in a sample of my writing.
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07-22-2002, 11:48 PM
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UF_Pike, .....Barf!!!
Last edited by h2oot; 07-22-2002 at 11:51 PM.
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07-23-2002, 04:55 AM
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Assuming that the first time was not alcohol or drug induced. The second time around may not be as good as the first. Sex isn't necessarily the best every time it happens. Sometimes it is better than others. It changes as you learn each others likes and dislikes. I have a friend and we were on again, off again, 'porkin' buddies' for eight years. There was never any committment, or threat of it, and at one time there was a 4 year strech of no sex. We met a couple of times around Christmas for dinner when we were both in the same city, but for various reasons nothing happened. Then we found time to meet a few more times. As you get to know someone better the sex does get better and it got progressively better for us because we got to know each others likes and dislikes. Maybe you got lucky the first time, now it is time to work on it and get to know each other better. I must say though, that sex is like pizza, even when it's bad, it's still pretty good.
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07-23-2002, 01:47 PM
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h2oot, why "Barf?" I was explaining my story of a random hookup and the second encounter. Does mine seem all that bad? I know several others where the second time should never have happened being that their girlfrineds walked in on the two of them. Hows that for a second encounter? I think I did the right thing in just letting it go and staying away from girls in that sorority. Don't you?
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07-23-2002, 08:15 PM
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Guys who brag about their sexploits don't flatter themselves. Nor is it flattering to refer to yourself as a stud, unless you run around on four legs and eat Purina.
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07-23-2002, 09:49 PM
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game
I remember catching fish in camp and throwing them back into the water, and fishing again. It's the same deal. We do that for the sport, not the prize. Sometimes though, you feel like eating salmon for dinner so you don't throw it back.
-Rudey
--I feel stupid for writing this analogy.
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07-24-2002, 01:56 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by h2oot
Guys who brag about their sexploits don't flatter themselves. Nor is it flattering to refer to yourself as a stud, unless you run around on four legs and eat Purina.
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I wasn't bragging. Obviously you must have been the girl on the wrong end before, otherwise you wouldn't have been offended by it.
I'm sorry if I offended you, seriously, but I can't help it if you've been used by some guy for a one nighter. Better luck next time!
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07-24-2002, 09:17 AM
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Quote:
Originally posted by UF_PikePC98
I'm sorry if I offended you, seriously, but I can't help it if you've been used by some guy for a one nighter. Better luck next time!
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Sorry, but I don't do one-nighters. Don't need to. Some of us have relationships.
My objection to your post is that it portrays sorority girls as sterotypical blonde sluts. Have you considered the possibility that in your obvious state of inebriation that you confused a female with one of those swamp critters?
Last edited by h2oot; 07-24-2002 at 09:22 AM.
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