Family problems

[daruler]

Greetings to all,
Now that I have firmly established in my mind that Alpha Kappa Alpha is something that I want to pursue I have begun to tell those closest to me about my aspirations. My problem is that my mother and sister do not understand why I want to join a sorority and in fact my mother is heartset against it. Amoung other things, she believes that people who join GLO are weak minded, have no sense of self and also that GLO somehow are sinful because in effect you are pledging yourself to something other than what God has set out in the bible. Adding to this is the fact that she has never gone to college and therefore can only go on what she has seen in movies or by members of our family. My cousin is a Sigma and he is branded, which she is what initially soured her to GLO's in the first place. I have been trying for the past couple of weeks to make her understand, but what can I say? I am not in one and she is the most important person in the world to me, her opinions mean a lot. I would have a really hard time doing anything that would jeopardize my mother's opinion of me. Does anybody have any suggestions on how I can possibly help her to understand that there are more positive than negative aspects to being in a GLO?

[Anydaynow]

Alpha Kappa Alpha has done many positive things within the African American community. You should point out to your mother all of the positive things that we do such as the ON TRACK program, the purchase of Dr. Martin L. King Jr.'s birthplace and our African Village Development program, just to name a few. You should also inform her of all of the famous Sorors like:

Coretta Scott King, Rosa Parks, Toni Morrison, Alice Walker, Maya Angelou and Jada Pinkett Smith....just to name a few.

My mother and I are also very close and I value her opinions but if AKA is in your heart then I suggest you go for it. I have only been in this organization for less than a month and the bond that I share with my line sisters is completely unimaginable, it almost brings tears to my eyes when I think about my Sorors and how they have showed me Sisterly love.

Joining a sorority is a very personal thing, everyone has their own opinions about joining or not (for that matter). You should explain to your mother that this is something you really want to do and that you are going to pursue membership.

AKA was deep in my heart from the very start and the only two things that could have kept me from her was God or the votes against me. Just remember that if you do choose to pursue membership that AKA will be apart of your life for the remainder of your life.

[AKAtude]

Soror Anydaynow, that was well said. Daruler, some people have a fear or dislike of things they don't understand.

If there is a graduate chapter in your town, find out some of the things they have done to help improve your community, and point it out to your mother. If you know an older soror whose wisdom and knowledge you think your mother will respect, arrange a meeting. If you know of a pastor in the community who is an active member of a BGLO, seek their help as well. An associate pastor in my A.M.E. church is currently the president of one of our grad chapters in town. She does it all.

I understand that your mother's opinions mean a lot to you because what our family thinks (especially our moms) has always played a major role in our lives. However, you do have the right to make your own decisions. If AKA is what you want, then go for it. You don't want to ask yourself years later "what if..." and have regrets.

[Eclipse]

daruler,
I think anydaynow and AKAtude gave you some good advice to help show your mother the good that AKA does in the community. I bet there are members of your church that are AKAs that your mother could talk to. Look for the tags on the cars in the parking lot! There is one place, however, that I disagree with them. If you are still a college student, I would not join a sorority behind your mother's back or without her blessings. If it is in your heart, Alpha Kappa Alpha will be there after you graduate and are more independant.

[AKAtude]

I would like to clarify something. I never stated she should go behind her mother's back. I said she has a right to make her own decisions. Whether she tells her mother or not is up to her. Our parents are not always going to agree with the things we do, but there comes a time when most learn to respect their children's decisions.

There is no gaurantee that she will be selected for membership in the undergrad chapter on her campus. However, the chances of entering a grad chapter are even more slim because she has to be extended an invitation to join.