Annoyed

aephi alum · #1 06-03-2003, 01:58 PM

So I'm getting really annoyed at some of the assumptions people make about me because I'm female.

- We're putting in central air in our house. A guy came by this morning to do an estimate. He quoted me a ballpark figure and then said, "That includes electrical. We can take a few hundred dollars off that if, say, your husband were to do the electrical." It never crossed his mind that a woman could do that sort of work... and my degree is in electrical engineering!!!

- Everyone seems to be expecting me to drop everything and have a baby - especially now that I'm out of work again. Someone actually started a rumor at my temple that I was pregnant. This is really hurtful to me because I've put on a few pounds over the past few months... I'm trying to get rid of them, but comments like "Congratulations! When are you due?" aren't helping.

- And then there's the classic: I apply for a job. My name is unmistakably female, and the dates on my resume clearly indicate that I am young. If (IF) I'm called in for an interview, the interviewer sees my wedding ring. Right away, the assumption is that I will be working just long enough to save up some money, take advantage of their health insurance and short-term disability programs to have a baby on the company's dime, then quit and be a SAHM... so why should they waste their money hiring and training me? So I don't get the job... whereas a man would have no problem.

It's like popping out a couple of rugrats, wiping their bottoms, making sure they do well in school and don't watch too much TV, etc. is supposed to be the be-all and end-all of my existence and the limit of my capabilities.

GRRRRRRRR

(I feel better now...

)

mu_agd · #2 06-03-2003, 02:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by aephi alum
So I'm getting really annoyed at some of the assumptions people make about me because I'm female.

- And then there's the classic: I apply for a job. My name is unmistakably female, and the dates on my resume clearly indicate that I am young. If (IF) I'm called in for an interview, the interviewer sees my wedding ring. Right away, the assumption is that I will be working just long enough to save up some money, take advantage of their health insurance and short-term disability programs to have a baby on the company's dime, then quit and be a SAHM... so why should they waste their money hiring and training me? So I don't get the job... whereas a man would have no problem.

just so you, it is illegal for the interviewer to ask you questions regarding marriage, if you plan on starting a family, etc.. i had a professor at school and he made it very clear that if you are ever asked questions in an interview about that or they base their decision on what you've mentioned above than you should report it....

aephi alum · #3 06-03-2003, 02:05 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by mu_agd
just so you, it is illegal for the interviewer to ask you questions regarding marriage, if you plan on starting a family, etc.. i had a professor at school and he made it very clear that if you are ever asked questions in an interview about that or they base their decision on what you've mentioned above than you should report it....

Yes, it's illegal for them to ask, but if they see a young woman wearing a wedding ring, they can put two and two together.

Dionysus · #4 06-03-2003, 02:07 PM

What about this one?

"SMILE!"-I never heard anyone tell a GUY that. Why should I walk around w/ an ear to ear grin when I don't feel like it?

Jadey28 · #5 06-03-2003, 02:08 PM

I agree with the young and female part....only my situation is totally different from yours. At my job, there is a man in his late 30's early 40's who works on the shift after ours. Everytime I have to talk to him about work, he acts like I know nothing about Chemistry and what this job entails. He feels this way simply because I am 23 and female. So then there was this one time when he couldn't get something to work....Let me tell you how excited he was when I walked over this his work, examined it, and fixed the entire problem! Needless to say, he hates me now and tries to sabotage my work!

JUST BECAUSE I AM FEMALE AND 23 YEARS OLD, DOESN'T MEAN I DON'T HAVE A BRAIN! I HAVE A BRAIN, AND I PROBABLY KNOW MORE ABOUT THE $HIT THAN YOU DO!

Wow, that felt really good. Great thread topic

Lady Pi Phi · #6 06-03-2003, 02:33 PM

I worked with this one man, and one day he asked me to help him do some filing. I wasn't busy at the time and part of my job was to help out when it was needed. So I said sure. I spent the day doing his filing and I was done. Well I had other more pressing work that needed to be done, but he started assuming that I was his personal secretary (no just because I have a vagina does not make me a secretary). So I said to him that I would help him when I had some time. He kept hounding me to do his filing so one day I snapped. I yelled at him. I said look I can't do your filing right now because I have more important work to do, you have enough time to harrass me about it, so you have enough time to do it yourself. If not you'll have to wait till I am free. Well he was quite shocked that I had told him no. He's the type of man that usually is around women that don't stand up for them selves. He never had a woman put him in his place before. I was quite proud, and he never bothered me again. I am a smart woman, so don't assume because I am young and female that I can't do anything except your filing!

texas*princess · #7 06-03-2003, 03:07 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dionysus
What about this one?

"SMILE!"-I never heard anyone tell a GUY that. Why should I walk around w/ an ear to ear grin when I don't feel like it?

hehehe

If someone is looking a little down, I always ask them if things are OK and to smile (regardless of gender). I'm generally a very happy person and used to say things like "Smile, it's MONDAY!"

Of course that was before I started working

ZTAngel · #8 06-03-2003, 03:08 PM

During my internship last summer, my manager made it clear that my job duties would not have anything "administrative" in them. He said that I was working there to learn about marketing...not about being a secretary. He kept to that and was a great boss. Well, he went out of town for a few days and this jerk from the Hamilton, Ontario office came to the Orlando office for a few days. My boss gave this jerk permission to use his cubicle which was located adjacent to mine. The jerk assumed that just because I was female and young that I was a secretary. I walked into the office on Monday morning and the jerk walked over to me, without even introducing himself, and handed over some papers and told me to go fax them. I didn't want to get on his bad side since he was obviously a friend of my boss. After I faxed his papers, he called out to me, "I'm going to need some coffee too." Are you kidding me??? I told the guy that I was a marketing intern and not his servant. I immediately called my boss and told him what was going on. Luckily, my boss called the guy and told him that if something needed to be faxed, he's physically able to do it himself.

I went on an interview a few weeks ago for an admin position. I figured I take it just to get my foot in the door at the company in hopes of moving up to better positions. The guy I'd be working for was another jerk. He told me part of my job duties would be "getting his dry cleaning, filling his car with gas, doing his grocery shopping, serving appetizers at company parties, and cleaning his dishes after his lunch". I told him that I wasn't right for the position because I wouldn't do those job duties; I then walked out on the interview. The worst part is that I know if I was a man interviewing with this jerk, he would never have made those comments.

AOX81 · #9 06-03-2003, 03:14 PM

I would have told those guys that I am not their personal bitch and to kiss my ass!! I barely have to do any of that stuff for myself...why would I want to do it for them?

MoxieGrrl · #10 06-03-2003, 03:25 PM

Yeah, I hear all the time, "Are you a secretary?" No, no, no!! Nothing against being a secretary, but that is not the only job a woman can do! It isn't 1950 folks!

Heh, I wish my boss would get the hint about the administrative duties. He will walk all the way down the hall to my office and tell me to fax something.....when he passes the fax machine on the way to my office!

valkyrie · #11 06-03-2003, 03:47 PM

Go on with your bad selves!! I love hearing about women sticking up for themselves, but I think it sucks that these cavemen are running rampant in our society.

Aephi alum, I feel your pain, too. When I was in law school it was common practice among the married or engaged women to refrain from wearing rings to job interviews. That it's even an issue sucks beyond belief, but if people are going to make assumptions, you have to do what's best for you.

bruinaphi · #12 06-03-2003, 04:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by valkyrie
When I was in law school it was common practice among the married or engaged women to refrain from wearing rings to job interviews. That it's even an issue sucks beyond belief, but if people are going to make assumptions, you have to do what's best for you.

My friends did the same thing in law school. It is horrible, but sometimes it is the only way to get past the male interviewers.

CutiePie2000 · #13 06-03-2003, 04:51 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by valkyrie
Aephi alum, I feel your pain, too. When I was in law school it was common practice among the married or engaged women to refrain from wearing rings to job interviews. That it's even an issue sucks beyond belief, but if people are going to make assumptions, you have to do what's best for you.

Yes, while the above is a stinker, "ya gotta do what ya gotta do".
This kind of reminds me of the LSU Rush and the "should I wear my nose piercing?" thread....

VSUPhiMu · #14 06-03-2003, 05:17 PM

I'm a young, recent college graduate, but I own my own business, which is actually quite sucessful. A guy asked me the other day what my degree was in, so I told him I have a dual degree in History and Political Science. The jerk got this look on his face and asked me if I'd always wanted to be a secretary. I could have totally clocked him right there. I promptly informed him that I was self-employed.

Cluey · #15 06-03-2003, 05:41 PM

I get annoyed by the people I work with at times. I work in a high school. I'm sure all of you remember all the club, organization and class activities from your high school years.

Well, sometimes it seems as though the other members of the faculty think that their time outside of school is more valuable than mine because they are married and have kids. Just because I am young, unmarried and childless does not mean I have to be in charge of every blooming thing that comes down the pike. I'm sorry, I have a life, too. Though it may not involve a husband and kids, it does count!