Question for those with Fall rush

[breathesgelatin]

Sooo...

In many late Summer/Fall rush threads I've noticed that PNMs come in to rush with some preferences. We're always encouraging PNMs to keep an open mind and follow their heart rather than go with those initial stereotypes. I realize that many of those stereotypes probably come from women they know who are currently at the school, alums from the school/sororities/area, things like that. However other PNMs seem to come into rush (I can NEVER remember to say recruitment!) with no knowledge about the specific stereotypes of the sororities but seem to pick up on them quickly once recruitment week begins. How is this? At my school there are 5 sororities each with well-defined stereotypes. Since we have a deferred winter rush, that gives plenty of time for fraternity members to spread the gossip. Now, supposing a PNM is going to a school w/ fall rush and it's a school where there the PNMs get there before classes even start. How do those stereotypes get spread? Through PNMs? At my school PNMs are very reluctant to spread stereotypes for fear that it will affect them on rush (ie, "Sister Mu Mu, PNM Amy told me the other day that Mu Mus were all bimbos") and it's mostly through the fraternities that they are spread. In fact, although I LOVE the deferred rush, I think perhaps its major drawback is the time it allows for stereotype seepage--by the time rush rolls around, everyone knows, and it's set in so much, PNMs can be close-minded about where they would "fit". So how do these stereotypes get spread to PNMs with no Greek background at the big schools? I can't imagine that it would be through other PNMs, rush counselors, or administrators, but I can't figure out how else.

This is something I've wondered about for a long time. Sorry for the length, I just wanted to be clear!

[UF56]

At UF there is lots of tent talk among the PNMs even though the Pi Chis tell them not to.....but you can pick up on the stereotypes after 1st round by just conversations and the looks of people (I know I know I know looks shouldnt matter)

[MSKKG]

For those colleges with fall recruitment, those stereotypes are probably passed on from PNMs with older friends, whether in GLOs or not, at the college to PNMs with no connections to the Greek system. Also, PNMs fill everyone else in on what happened at the parties they attended, so if PNM #1 goes to GLO 1st and tells PNM #2 how great they are, PNM #2 will already give them the benefit of the doubt.

I always assumed that deferred recruitment benefitted the GLOs in that any stereotypes would be proved or dispelled during the fall semester. It must be hard though to be on your best behavior for a whole semester! Does a lot of dirty rushing go on?

About 9 years ago, Ole Miss starting recruitment after the final drop date. [From what I heard, so many PNMs would drop out of Ole Miss if they had a bad experience/didn't get their top choice/etc.] This year, according to OleMissGlitter, it's Oct. 2-6. Recruiting this way kind of gets the best AND the worst of each system!

(Do I get any brownie points for using "recruitment" because it's hard for me to remember, too?!?)

[MTSUGURL]

As soon as I got to MTSU, I was told that a certain chapter was full of sluts and b**ches, was the worst chapter on campus, was full of the "rejects cut from all the good sororities", and they bid anyone that showed a smidgin of interest. I was told this by several people that weren't even Greek, and were completely uninterested (they said) in Greek life. In response, I watched the chapter for a year, got to know a few of them, and found out that I absolutely LOVE the girls there.
When I went to the information meeting before recruitment last year, I sat next to a girl who was legacy for AOII. She kept saying they were the best chapter there, (or anywhere), and had the best parties, the prettiest girls, the richest girls, etc etc. I kept thinking, "Wow, you're deep." (Note the sarcams in that statement.) I love the girls I've met in AOII, and agree that they seem to be an awesome chapter, but I like them for MUCH different reasons. God help me if I pick a sisterhood based on looks, wealth, parties, and any other stereotypes.
Yes, we PNMs are talking about the chapters, and recruitment hasn't started yet. I know I am being very careful about sharing my impressions of the chapters, and I hope that other PNMs will do the same.

[astroAPhi]

I had no impressions of either sorority coming in, and we did a Fall Rush. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of asking a fraternity member what the sororities were like right after Meet the Greeks.

"One's fat, and one's bitchy."

"Uh... which one is which?"

"We'll see, it changes every year."

Considering this kid had a missing front tooth and greasy, slicked back hair, I didn't take him too seriously.

[breathesgelatin]

Originally posted by MSKKG
I always assumed that deferred recruitment benefitted the GLOs in that any stereotypes would be proved or dispelled during the fall semester. It must be hard though to be on your best behavior for a whole semester! Does a lot of dirty rushing go on?

Oh, no! Remember that for schools with winter rush, recruitment rules are in effect ALL fall term! We are pretty restricted with what we can do with PNMs. Also, my school has one of the highest percentages of people involved Greek life in the nation (about 75% of women and 85% of men), which means that basically the only social option for PNMs is fraternity parties (because of our honor system, in which fake IDs will get you kicked out of school, bars in town aren't an option at all until you're 21--which most of our PNMs are not). And our fraternity boys are notorious blabberers. They insult all the chapters--all the time. In the newspaper, etc. (Of course, that doesn't stop them from dating us!). I heard nasty things about every sorority going into rush. Mean, cruel, horrible things. But unfortunately it's hard to get to know upperclass women on campus through the fraternity scene--the friendships tend to be more casual and social. So therefore, it's actually harder to dispel the rumors than you might think. This might be different at other schools that have a lower percentage Greek life or more options socially.

Edited to add:

It's furthermore enforced by the fact that (literally) by the third or fourth week of school, PNMs have basically locked themselves into the fraternities they will hang out at for the rest of their college careers. Sororities and fraternities pair up to the EXTREME here. So if you hang out, say at Lambda Chi, you're not going to meet any KKGs or KDs. Whereas you'd meet a lot of Pi Phis and Chi Os. And if you hung out at Pike, you'd meet some of each, but predominantly Chi O and Theta. If you don't go to the right fraternities for a certain sorority, your chances are slim (although there are always exceptions).

As far as dirty rushing, it is mostly guys, but there is probably some slight dirty rushing by sororities. Ie:

PNM to Cathy Tri-Pi: "Do you know Jane Mu Mu? She's so nice!"
Cathy Tri-Pi: "Oh, Jane is so sweet. We were such good friends freshman year!! I don't see her much anymore. I don't know if she doesn't go out anymore, or if she just doesn't hang out at SAE anymore!"

This is said in the most southern, polite way that lets you know that Jane is just a complete loser who is not cool enough to hang out at SAE anymore since she pledged Mu Mu! Dirty rush is brought to insidious perfection here, I'd say.

[JohnsDGsweethrt]

We had delayed recruitment at my school. I'm not sure if sterotypes were set or not but the PNM def. had decided what sorority she wanted to join. Many girls were closed minded to the other chapters and rushed to join a particular group. If they got cut they dropped out...

[carnation]

I would say that I heard the stereotypes of each sorority within minutes of arriving at all colleges I went to. My daughters heard the stereotypes at theirs before the first day of rush ended. It's sad because that's how many PNMs make their initial cuts.

[RedFox]

I have heard a LOT of stories regarding the sororities here...the "bitchy" sorority, the "slutty" sorority, etc...but I have chosen (since I am transferring...since I am a junior...and since I dont know these girls at all. The outlook of what some people have told me are just a few opinions of many..and of course everyone has a different opinion about everything. I have chosen, myself, to give every group a chance-as I have always sought out to do in the beginning. Since I'm the one going through recruitment, I should be the only one to make the assumption whether or not the chapter is the right one for me. Hopefully I'll find out once I rush and find a home here at UT! Can't wait to have my own rush thread! Go Vols!

[justamom]

Everything y'all have said happens to Some degree or another. breathesgelatin your post was very "on target" and carnation, what you said couldn't be MORE true!

My niece went to another school in La., But she had images about the sororities from HER friends that attended LSU ahead of my daughter that she passed on. Crazy thing is, she was really off.

I think dirty rush may be one of the bigger culprits, because around here, it isn't just the sorority members, IT'S THE ALUMS AS WELL! (I get so fired up on this topic!)

Tent talk from PNMs can be so damaging, especially if they believe they are shoe-ins for a couple of specific chapters. You know the ones I'm talking about-they put down EVERY chapter except one or two so if YOU get cut, it can make you feel like a "loser".

Last year during rush, some individuals within a chapter, that has of late, been going up against DG for certain PNMs, made some "untrue" statements about DG's social situation.

Fraternity members will ALWAYS promote the chapter their girlfriends are in.

Looks/personality WILL influence a person's decision since rush is so fast and furious.

Rush is probably one of the MOST interesting campus events.
It's a reality series with drama, competition, heartbreak-raw emotions and fodder for gossip. With some exception, I dare say, everyone knows who the Greeks are and has an opinion on the system and the individual houses. If we can discuss American Idol for so many pages, and in SOME cases, get rather emotional, doesn't it follow that everyone who has he slightest connection to Greeks will let their opinion be known?

[aephi alum]

Back in the day, when my school had early fall recruitment, we were allowed to have summer rush parties. So we actually got to meet PNMs, before rush, in a more fraternity-rush-like setting - for example, we'd have a picnic in Central Park in NYC and on the Esplanade in Boston. (Unfortunately, this meant that if you, as a PNM, didn't live in or near a major city with enough active sisters to host a party, you were SOL.)

There was also a good amount of "tent talk" among the PNMs durng rush - both good and bad - "XYZ's skit was so lame" or "I met the most awesome girls at ABC".

And fraternity rush was at the same time as sorority rush. Since sororities couldn't feed PNMs more than snacks, PNMs would go to fraternity houses for meals (they used to say that if you had to pay for any meals during rush, you were doing something wrong ) and of course, over meals, they would hear things from brothers.

[Silverblue]

RedFox (and other PNMs), you'll discover that the labels people give chapters aren't true. You'll make friends in most chapters, and you'll find yourself thinking, "Gosh, those ABCs aren't snobby/trashy/whatever at all. I wonder where that rumor got started?" There are wonderful members in every chapter. Just concentrate on where you feel most comfortable. That's the sign you're looking for.

[AZpinkkittie]

I hear what you're saying SIlverblue. Since i have lived hee my entire life, I know a lot of people who go to my school, but don't really know any sisters personally (although i met a couple during orintatin...nice girls ) I got a lot of "Oh, all the girls at ABC are b**chy ," or "The girls at XYZ are really snobby and stuck-up." But I also realize that these comments are coming from people who not only have no interest in being greek, but can sometimes go out of their way to be just plain mean about the whole system. I figure if I want any kind of trustworthy opinion, I have to wait until rush when I can make one for myself. A lot of people I think are looking for those comments so they can make the weeding out process a little easier ("Oh, I won't even try at this house because Suzie told me they were all social outcasts.")

[HotDamnImAPhiMu]

Sometimes the stereotype is true and sometimes it isn't. I joined the "uptight" sorority at my school. Of course, after I'd had a few weeks as a new member under my belt, I figured out that "uptight" meant "they don't do drugs or sleep around."

I love my uptight girls.

The "fat" sorroity girls here are so incredibly accepting, warm, and encouraging. Craziness. And the "slutty" sorority is full of girls who just light up any room they're in with their friendliness and sweet hearts. If you can imagine.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, there will always be people who have nasty things to say. Keeping an open mind just means you won't feel so stupid when you have to revise your opinions later!

dzandiloo and MSKKG, you girls are great. Couldn't be happier to be sharing a board with you!