Why the taboo?

[Dionysus]

I haven't notice the taboo on my campus-maybe because we are a majority commuter school. Nor, in my GLO-maybe because graduate students can remain active members in my GLO.

I got a vibe from some recent posts that it is negative for alums to stick around their GLO after graduation.

Why?

I see no problem with alums coming to parties, rush, and special events after the first or second year they graduate. It would be different if they would to vote or stick around until they're 40, I can understand that.

Also, why do NPC/NIC make graduate STUDENTS go alum? (i might be wrong w/ this one, but I thought I read this somewhere)

[steelepike]

I think its the same idea of the college guy hitting the highschool parties. Its just weird. I am ok with it cause i know the guys and they are brothers but yeah if a really old guy in the 40s did it that would be weird. Though last regional conference one of my brothers Dad who is an Alum came and socialized at the party.

[33girl]

there's a difference between going to parties to have fun with your sisters/brothers, and going to try and hook up with the opposite sex. It depends on your campus too - mine had (has) a fair number of people who are 25 and still in undergrad due to scheduling/$$ issues. So it's not too weird. If it was a campus where everyone got out in 4 years, I can see why students would be squicked out.

I think it is somewhat reactive too - from alums who say things like "I'm over all that." The fact is when you're out in the world with a 40 hour wk job/spouse/kids all of the above, as much as you might want to go back and do some of that stuff, you can't. So it's easier to run it down. I chuckle at some of the sisters who get married and act like they are above all that silly college stuff now. When they get divorced they are the first ones running back to homecoming and going nuts.

[Glitter650]

I think that if they just graduated one or two years ago alums coming back for parties and stuff is cool, if they are like 35/40 coming back every weekend to kick it, that is just trying to hold onto a part of your life that you sohuld've moved on from by now. I mean we have some advisors who are fairly recent grads... (they are all creeping up on 30) and they go out out with us after meetings and have a drink sometimes and have a good time at formal and its totally cool, but coming back for EVERYTHING at like 40 just shows a lack of ability to move on in life, also more mature alum should be there to guide and give advice... I personally wouldn't respect an alum's opinion as much if I just saw her getting wasted at a social last night or trying to hit on a 21 year old guy adn she's 45... ya know ??

[PrincessHeather]

I think it is totally fine to come back after you are alum. (oh BTW Phi Sig doesn't make anyone go alum you can be in grad school and still be "active status") Most alum from my chapter are at the getting married having lots of babies stage in life so they don't come around that much. But we do have reccent alum come back to lots of stuff and I think that is awesome.

I know there has even been debate on my campus about not allowing alum to come to rush. (its hard when you only have two sororities in Pan and they each feel completely different on the issue.)

I say if they want to be there let them, and don't treat them weird. (but like you all mentioned if they are going out and partying when they are 40 and hitting on someone that is 21 I think I'd do this: )

[MysticCat]

Seems like the crux of the problem is not alums coming back or being involved per se, but alums who still try to act like collegiate members. As an alum, I feel welcome to participate in events sponsored by my chapter, but I have to remember that, not being a collegiate anymore, I need to keep my mouth shut on how the chapter should be run, rush, and the like. I'll be glad to provide assistance when asked, and then I'll still be careful not to say too much. And, of course, there's the whole remembering-I'm-not-in-college-anymore part.

[MSKKG]

Could the reason possibly be that these members aren't paying dues anymore? By not paying dues, they are not voting members anymore and in essence ARE alums. Could they pay a social fee so they would be allowed to go to social events?

[DigitalAngel126]

There were some Alumni from a fraternity that I was very close, that would come down and kick it. It wasn't a regular thing, and even though they were older (think 30-45), they were a BLAST to hang out with... Personality is more important than age... And it wasn't like they were a permanant fixture in the house, because I agree that THAT could've been annoying. But anyhow, I'm all for alum coming down to party/kick it!

[Lady Pi Phi]

Our chapter isn't even 10 years old yet (charter in 1996) so our oldest alum are only in their late 20's (so not old, I don't want to call them old, Cherub I love you), anyway, back to my post. I love our alum and it's not often that I get to see them so I would love if they could come down more, and hang out, or whatever. I would to hate to think that once alum reach a certain age they are no longer welcome to spend time with their chapter. Now I'm not saying that at 40 I want to come down every weekend and cougar it up at the bars with the 19 year olds, but I would like to come back occasionally and spend time with my chapter at rush, and help if they needed it, or join in in some of the philanthropy events, and even attend the formals.
On the other hand, I have several friends from work that are in their late 30's or early 40's and they are so much fun to hang out with and I can go to the bars with them and just have a good time. I think it all depends on their reasons. It might be a little weird if their trying to relive their youth, but if they come to spend time with people they call brother or sister, then what's the problem?

[Tom Earp]

Huh, our Alums are always welcome. Sometimes we do kick a bitch or two. But, we are always supportive of the Active Chapter and trying to help.

Of course, this comes from someone who is on the House Corp., Mentoring/Leadership Group, Alum. Association, House Building Group and Founder.

For those who do not beleive it, the Alums can be a heck of a back bone for the support of the Chapter!

I complain to our International that the Alums should be more informed as if not for the Alums donatating money and working with the Chapters, we as a Fratrnity would be in a world of hurt!

I also can say this goes for the College that you went to!! Money Talks, and BullShit walks!


Thats All Folks!!!!!

[MoxieGrrl]

Because our chapter was located out in the middle of no man's land, we didn't get a ton of alums coming back for a lot of events. There was a core group that did come back fairly often and for every event we had. We loved it! They ranged from one year out to 25 years out. I was glad that they were there all the time, it showed all of that KD is a huge part of your life even after you graduated from college.

Seriously, I wish that sororities would change their rules. I'm planning on going back to graduate school and would love to have the option to re-activate (for lack of a better word). Dues wouldn't be such a hardship these days, and I feel maybe being the "party animal" sister wouldn't be my role, I could be a much better "behind the scene" sister at this stage.

[James]

What 33girl says here pretty much sums it up.

ITs a matter of peception. In places where Alum are welcomed and chronological age is not inherently discriminated against, its not a big deal.

In places where the people are snobbier, and you know who you are, alums are more likely to feel unwelcome.

In fact, in places like that, I doubt they have many returning alums.

Keep that in mind lol.

Originally posted by 33girl
there's a difference between going to parties to have fun with your sisters/brothers, and going to try and hook up with the opposite sex. It depends on your campus too - mine had (has) a fair number of people who are 25 and still in undergrad due to scheduling/$$ issues. So it's not too weird. If it was a campus where everyone got out in 4 years, I can see why students would be squicked out.

I think it is somewhat reactive too - from alums who say things like "I'm over all that." The fact is when you're out in the world with a 40 hour wk job/spouse/kids all of the above, as much as you might want to go back and do some of that stuff, you can't. So it's easier to run it down. I chuckle at some of the sisters who get married and act like they are above all that silly college stuff now. When they get divorced they are the first ones running back to homecoming and going nuts.

[James]

I would be impressed if a 40 year old of either gender could hook up with a 19 year old lol . ..

That shows some skills

Originally posted by PrincessHeather


I say if they want to be there let them, and don't treat them weird. (but like you all mentioned if they are going out and partying when they are 40 and hitting on someone that is 21 I think I'd do this: )

[DeltAlum]

Originally posted by steelepike
but yeah if a really old guy in the 40s

You want to twist that blade a little harder, S'pike?
(Remember, you'll be 40 someday, and it'll come sooner than you think)

[DigitalAngel126]

Originally posted by DeltAlum
You want to twist that blade a little harder, S'pike?
(Remember, you'll be 40 someday, and it'll come sooner than you think)

BWAHAHAHAHA!!!! I love it, I love it.. DeltAlum you kill me