long distance relationships and sororities

[UFGatorGirl311]

I know that I'm going to get a mostly negative response about the sucess rate of long distance relationships, but I just had to ask... is it really difficult to maintain a long distance relationship as well as being a sorority member? He's only going to be 4 hours away, and its not a high school relationship, so I think we'll be okay, but I just wanted to hear opinions on it.

Also, what can I be expected to be asked at Rush regarding my relationship, and what would be the best response?

Thanks!!!

[erniegurl00]

Ok I'll be the first to tackle this question! I'd like to say that my long distance relationship has been a success (but let's forget about that intsy break up that happened a few weeks ago. I know y'all are thinking about it.). I met my current boyfriend right after I was initiated. At the time he was only an hour away, and was only an hour away through the end of my freshmen and sophomore years of college. It really did work out well! It was hard in the sense that I did have to balance my sisters and sororoity work with him, but it IS managable. I would make sure to do my homework during the week before I would leave to see him. My sisters did gripe that they missed seeing me on the weekends and that I was missing potential sister-bonding time, but my good friends understood. And over time the rest of my house did too. You just have to be flexible with your time because there will be conflicts between sorority events and times you want to see your boyfriend. Again, it's managable. Now my boyfriend is about 2 1/2 to 3 hours away, and it makes it easier because I can't see him every week.

Ok. More advice I have. You'll need to talk with your boyfriend about time commitments you'll have with your sorority. He just needs to know that sometimes the sorority will have to come before him. He also needs to be supportive of you and your decision to go greek. My boyfriend before I rushed was NOT supportive and wanted nothing to do with my future sorority. Needless to say, I dumped him right after Bid Day.

Now, I'd say be honest if anyone asks you about your boyfriend during rush. That's IF you're asked. I know at Butler the sorority members aren't supposed to talk about boys, beer, or religion. But, if you're asked be honest and upfront. He is a part of your life and a part of who you are. No need in covering it up.

I hope my ramblings have helped in some way. People always criticize LDRs, but it's worked for me. I've been with my long distance boyfriend for over two years, and we're still planning on marrying. It can work.

[astroAPhi]

I don't see why it would be a problem if they ask you about a boyfriend. To be honest, I don't think they'll even ask you about him... they'll be more concerned with getting to know you.

If it does come up, you have one, no big deal.

[JohnsDGsweethrt]

Erniegurl00 makes an excellent point! Ufgatorgirl311 I seriously doubt you will be asked about your boyfriend so rest easy! Also for you there should be some good info about going through recruitment at UF somewhere on the rush threads! Good luck!

[Kevin]

My little brother, an ATO at the University of Central Oklahoma maintained a 2-year relationship with a Chi Omega at Furman (in South Carolina).

So yes, it can work. They're still together and both attending the University of Oklahoma.

Couldn't tell you the secret though. Probably has a lot to do with budgeting your money to afford the phone bill

[SilverTurtle]

The summer following my sophomore year I spent in Ann Arbor, MI (I attended college in Columbus, OH) with some friends. I had a blast & made some great new friends. One of those friends quickly evolved into a boyfriend towards the end of summer. It's about a 3 hour drive, so I couldn't see him every weekend. Plus I had to work, and he had to work, so we saw each other about every 4-5 weeks. We talked on the phone maybe twice a week.

I became way more involved in Phi Beta that year and my time commitments between school, Phi Beta & work were pretty restrictive. Not to mention the bands & ensembles I played in at school. We still made it work. He had been thinking of moving before we met anyway, so at the end of my junior year he moved to Columbus. We're still together nearly 6 years later.

It can definately work. But you both have to realize that the other one will have a life and commitments and that it's healthy.

[Kaydee_cutie]

I am yet another long distance relationship/sorority success story . My boyfriend and I met our senior year of high school and he left for the air force six months after we started going out. It has been a long distance relationship since then with him living in oklahoma and recently saudi arabia and me stuck here in ohio and I'm proud to say we are going on three years now . The sorority thing kind of was an issue becuase he bought into the steorotypes he hears all the time, I actually didn't go through rush until my sophomore year because I didn't want to worry him more than he already was. We ended up talking about it a lot and he realized that he trusted me enough and was just being selfish and I went through rush. I think me joining Kappa Delta was one of the best things for me because it kept my mind off of a lot of things and gave me 75 wonderful sisters to help support me while my boyfriend was off at war. I know you may hear a lot of stories saying that long distance relationships never work, but it all depends on how much you are willing to work at it. I wouldn't give mine up for anything!! I hope this helped a little .

Love in AOT,
Steph

[OUlioness01]

it can work. i've been talking (that's probably the best way to put it) to a guy I went to high school with who now lives in North Carolina. It's not a high school thing (we didn't have an interest in each other until over a year after we graduated) and we just budgeted our time so we can talk every night. he's currently in Kuwait (at least I think he is) but our 9:00 conversations went on every night while he was still in the states and we always let the other know if we couldn't talk the next day. you just need lots of calling cards or free minutes after 9 pm/weekends on your cell and you need to care about the person enough to make thetime committment. 4 hours isn't as far away as you think it is.

no one at rush should be asking about your relationships with men unless you bring it up, and then they shouldn't care except to sympathize with you. they aren't a group of women you would want to call your sisters anyway if they cut you because you have a boyfriend who lives 4 hours away.

[ladybug1116]

Yes a long distance relationship can work. I think it will be much better for you if he supports Greek Life though.

I dated a guy all through college who was 3.5 hours away or more for a very large portion of it...and he was long distance the entire time I was Greek. The reason I say it is better if he's supportive is this....my ex-b/f hated the fact that I was in a sorority and bought into all the stereotypes associated with it. There was NO reasoning with him...he wasn't willing to really get to know the girls to see what they were like. He gave me absolute hell about going to crush parties, socials, etc. He wouldn't even come down to go to my formal with me It made it hard for me at times to really enjoy my sorority experience. Long distance definitely compounded things but really I think he would have given me a hard time either way.

On a brighter note I'm currently dating someone who's an undergrad and a member of a fraternity...and we are long distance...9 hours apart. We've been dating around a year and his being active in his fraternity has not really caused any problems. Basically, I understand the time commitment he has to his brothers and we understand there is also a necessary time commitment in order to make this relationship work. I have to give props to him for being able to balance it all.

The key to making it work (on both ends) is to consider the other person's feelings....don't blow him off if you've already made a commitment to him FIRST (it will be very easy to do that) and understand that he may feel a little jealous sometimes when you're out doing all of these wonderful things that he can't be a part of. It's not that he doesn't want you to have fun...but I'm sure he will be a little sad that he can't always be a part of what's going on. (Not that I'm speaking from experience or anything ) Anyway, my b/f and I find time to talk just about every night, we talk on IM, and we make plans to see each other and do our very best to stick to those plans. It can work it just takes time and an honest commitment to the relationship. Good luck