which way to go???

RHOyal-Silence · #1 12-06-2001, 11:34 PM

i recently met a young lady who was interested in joining ABC organiztion. so i asked her what the problem was and she said her mother was a member of XYZ and her mother would not pay or support her to join any other organization other than XYZ.

now for u ladies of sororities, would u say this to your child or have u said this to your little girls. this young lady is really torn because she really wants to be a member of ABC.

The BLUEPRINT · #2 12-07-2001, 12:06 AM

I personally would never do that to my daughter because I remember how my cousin felt when she told my aunt that she wanted to join ABC. My aunt who is obviously in another organization went crazy. She really threw a fit and said that a member of ABC would never be apart of her family. I was a teenager at the time and I kept thinking was it that serious that you would turn away your family if someone joined another organization.

discrete1 · #3 12-07-2001, 12:53 AM

First of all I would like to say that I am not a member of any BGLO. I have an aunt and cousin whom are members of ABC sorority. I choose not to go that route because we all are entitiled to make our own choices. My aunt was kind of upset that I chose to seek membership in XYZ sorority than ABC. Other members of my family was surprised, because they are trying to make ABC sorority a family legacy, being that my aunt is part of it. I don't think it's fair to steer a person in a direction that "YOU" want them to go. We need to be able to teach our children to make their own decisions about a matter as serioius as this one. Afterall it is a lifetime committment.

Tinese · #4 12-07-2001, 12:56 AM

Hi sorhors:

I have a daughter and I told her that if she wanted to join a sorority other than sigma I would not pay for it but, I would support her. The only sorority I'm paying for is SGRHO.

I feel sorry for the woman youv'e described, she's a grown woman and she needs to follow whats in her heart. As for her mother, she's has to accept this fact that her daughter is grown and can choose whatever sorority she wishes. It disheartens me to see parents who would disown, or treat their children in this manner just because they didn't choose the sorority they joined.

Just my $19.22 opinion.

Capoodles

Tinese

ClassyLady · #5 12-07-2001, 10:20 AM

If this young lady really wants to join ABC, then she needs to follow her heart. Eventually, her mother will come around and be proud of her. Is her problem that she wants her mother's support or that she wants her mother to pay for it? If it is the latter, then that's on nobody but her. Her mother isn't required to pay for any sorority. If it's really important to this young lady, she'll work to get the money together to pay for it herself.

My mother is greek. And, when I first came to college, she told me that I can join any sorority that I want, but she's only paying for one. I don't have a problem with that. I would pay for any GLO that I decided to join, even if it was hers.

jojapeach · #6 12-07-2001, 01:54 PM

I have thought this over through the years because I have seen and heard of people whose desires for their organization of choice was not supported financially or emotionally. I already know that I will pay for my daughter (when I have one) to become a part of Sigma Gamma Rho, but she's on her own if it's another sorority.

I will definitely support her emotionally although I will be hurt by her decision if she chooses another. I agree with Tinese that is a shame to put a huge riff in your family because someone wants to do something different. If my child were unfortunate enough to make such a bad decision,

then I would at least take pride that she had the will to handle the financial part the best she could. I would be even more proud that my child had a will of her own to do what's best for her.

Question: How would you feel if your daughter only pledged Sigma because you, her aunt(s), cousin(s), etc. were Sigmas that refulsed to support her pledging ABC, and that was her only reason for becoming a member? If a child were so influenced by her mother's decision to not support her, I could see someone pledging an organization without any real heart in it. That's the outcome we should all try to avoid.

Sorry for the length

jojapeach

prettypoodle6 · #7 12-07-2001, 02:35 PM

i agree with you jopapeach,

i wouldnt want my daughter (if i had one) to join sigma just cause i am one. All of our organizations are far too many t-shirt wearers as it is.

I have a younger sister who will be transfering to a university next fall and i will support her emotionally (and even financially if she needed it) if she choose to pledge, regardless of the organization.

PrettyKitty · #8 12-07-2001, 05:46 PM

I say she do what she wants to do. Her mom will understand. I however, like her mom would not pay for anything other than ZPHIB

kizzie22 · #9 12-07-2001, 06:22 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by jojapeach
I have thought this over through the years because I have seen and heard of people whose desires for their organization of choice was not supported financially or emotionally. I already know that I will pay for my daughter (when I have one) to become a part of Sigma Gamma Rho, but she's on her own if it's another sorority.

I will definitely support her emotionally although I will be hurt by her decision if she chooses another. I agree with Tinese that is a shame to put a huge riff in your family because someone wants to do something different. If my child were unfortunate enough to make such a bad decision, then I would at least take pride that she had the will to handle the financial part the best she could. I would be even more proud that my child had a will of her own to do what's best for her.

Question: How would you feel if your daughter only pledged Sigma because you, her aunt(s), cousin(s), etc. were Sigmas that refulsed to support her pledging ABC, and that was her only reason for becoming a member? If a child were so influenced by her mother's decision to not support her, I could see someone pledging an organization without any real heart in it. That's the outcome we should all try to avoid.

Sorry for the length

jojapeach

Good question SoRHOr.... I would NEVER pressure my daughter(if I had one) into pledging Sigma and I wouldn't let my relatives (if they were SGRHOS)... Choosing an organization that you want to be apart of should come from YOUR heart....This is a life long commitment. I know a young lady who was in a situation like this...Her mother was the advisor to a certain org..and her daughter wanted to pledge another org...She went as far as to try and find something out about this org that would get them suspended off campus!!!! I thought that was soooo childish and immature.. The young lady decided to pledge her mother's org and needless to say it was obivious(sp?) that she didn't want to be apart of that organization...I would never make my child feel like that...I would support her emotionally and finanically..

It would be a good feeling to SGRHO events with your daughter as your sorhor!!!!!

babydoll3 · #10 12-07-2001, 09:18 PM

This bothers me so much. I just became a member of this lovely sorority, and I don't understand why someone WOULD choose another sorority, however I would support my daughter in whatever she decides to do. That's just like if your daughter told you she was gay, would you not support your daughter then? No matter what my child decides to do she will have my support. My mom is not a member of any organization, but she still didn't support my decision to join this sorority and that really hurts to know that something you love is not supported by the one's you love.

SeriousSigma22 · #11 12-07-2001, 09:51 PM

Sorors and Friends,

This is a very interesting topic and originally I skipped it, however, now that I really think about it I have some comments. I really would hope that my daughter went my way. A lot of times women of greekdom have daughters and they never really introduce their sorority to them when they enter into this world. I really feel that a soror has to stay active and bring the child around other members of that organization who are hardworking, dedicated, intelligent, and positive women. Women of greekdom we cannot expect our children (daughters) to simply become members of our perspective organizations if we never show them the true sisterhood.

Serioussigma22

NinjaPoodle · #12 12-08-2001, 12:46 AM

I was thinking about this today. If I have a daughter, I would want her to be HAPPY where ever she decides to go. I would support her, she is my flesh and blood BUT I will only pay $$$ if she goes SGRho.

She's on her own with anything else.

I was wondering if anyone thought about if their daughter(s) joined a NON-NPHC. Would you still support her/them emotionaly, or with $$$ ?

lilZetagirl · #13 12-08-2001, 02:23 AM

i will be honest, i will support any decision my daughter (if i have one) were to make as my parents did for me (my mother is an SGRho and my father a Kappa) BUT i will spend MY money on Z Phi B.

TRSimon · #14 12-08-2001, 05:55 AM

I have two sisters in college and I have told them that I would support them no matter what choice they make (emotionally), but I am not writing any checks to anybody other than for Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority, Inc.

If I had a daughter who wanted to pledge, she would get the same treatment. I would love and support her decisions (and eventually let her come home for holidays--just kidding), but in the NPHC, I will only foot the bill for the rubies and pearls.

The only other org I would pay for would be an honor society or professional society .

TRSimon

BlueReign · #15 12-08-2001, 11:51 AM

I have a six year old daughter who, right now, wants to be just like her mommy in everything she does. Of course, when she is older she will develop her own interests. She has been to many Sigma events with me and is friends with other Sorors' daughters. Right now, all she knows is Sigma. But when the time comes and she chooses another I would support her because she is my daughter.