Tell me this isn't it....

AXJules · #1 02-26-2003, 03:05 AM

Ok here I go with my late nite philosophical, depressing posts, but....

Lately (this semester and last) I've had one hell of a time with friends at school. It's sad to say but I had 2 pretty big fights with 2 influential people in my chapter- as a result there are very few people in the house who say hi to me, and about 3 that I would actually consider hanging out with. I've never really not had a lot of friends, so this is something I've had to get used to and it's really brought me down.

I've talked to a lot of people about this and it seems like most people's 'best friends' when they're in the real world and out of college are the friends they met while they were in school. I'm a 2nd semester junior and I"ll be moving out of the house soon.

Is this it? For those of you out of school and making a life for yourself, are most of your close friends people from college? It scares the shit out of me that I'll graduate, move back home, and be totally alone. My friends from high school have all left Chicago for good or else I have lost touch with them.
I dont' know, I'm pretty depressed and I'm just looking for someone to tell me that pissing off the wrong people in my house didn't curse me to live the rest of my life alone.

But yeah, I want honest answers, too. What do you think???

aggieAXO · #2 02-26-2003, 08:49 AM

Dear Sister,

From someone that has been there I want to tell you not to worry but I know it is easier said than done. Most of the people I went to college with are in a different city then I am and although we keep in touch I only see them once per year if that much. When I first moved to Austin I only knew one person and I worked almost every weekend (for a year I worked every Friday/Sat/Sunday night-talk about depressing!). I too was very depressed but then I got in touch with the alum club here and met several different women through this outlet, unfortunately most of them moved away within a couple of years but by that time I started making new friendships at work. My best friend works with me and most of my close friends are veterinarians. We all just got back from Vegas where there was a veterinary conference and we had a great time

.

It will all work out I promise you. I think almost everyone goes through a period of worry rt. before they graduate-for me I would almost have panic attacks thinking about leaving a place i had been at for 7 years, starting a new job and basically being thrown into the world of the unknown. You will make new friends-it is more difficult than in college but if you make an effort it will happen. If you need to talk more PM me.

agger_rob · #3 02-26-2003, 11:37 AM

Life is episodic and people will come and go. I think the situation varies depending on the person.

I just graduated college in May and moved back home. My two closest friends, one is a guy I pledged with and spent four years with at college and the other is a guy from high school who I always seemed to be getting in trouble with. I've got a group of friends that I see two or three times a week, some are people from high school and some are people I've met through them. Don't look at it as possibly losing touch with friends (which will only depress you), look at it as a time to reconnect with old friends, meet their friends, and make new acquaintances everywhere you go.

alphachiohmy · #4 02-26-2003, 12:51 PM

hey!

I too moved away from school to Chicago (actually), leaving my closest friends in the St. Louis area and in my college town. Its been a year since that move, but I have made friends up here. Like AggieAXO said, alumni groups (I am secretary of the Alpha Alpha group in Chicago) are good places to meet friends after school but you will also meet people in your job, gym, etc. And I don't think that making people mad in your house will curse you for life ... now that I am out of school, things in college seem so trivial. College for me was a blast, a ball of good times and other times I have learned from mistakes all rolled into one. Your true friends will be there when you least expect it. Its a matter of taking the memories and learning from others.

Hope that makes an ounce of sense. PM me if you ever want to talk more about Alpha Chi Omega in Chicago.

LITB,
Rhonda

valkyrie · #5 02-26-2003, 02:43 PM

You are not cursed!!!

Okay, I've been out of college for a while, and I can tell you that I am in contact with ONE friend from college, and that contact involves maybe one or two emails per year. That's it. I had contact with my best, best friend in the entire world from college for a while, but I no longer speak to her at all (after being threatened by her FREAK boyfriend who is now her husband, among other things). It's funny, because I have very close friends with whom I went to high school, but really not college.

I look at it like this -- I am a VERY different person than I was in college, and even if I were to run into people I knew then, I probably wouldn't want to hang out with them because we would really have nothing in common. There are very few times when I wish I had more friends from college (like homecoming) but it's really not something that EVER bothers me.

You will meet tons of people after you get out of school. I've made friends with people at work, through my alumnae chapter (I'm an alumna initiate), neighbors, through other friends, through boyfriends, whatever. I spend most of my time with my boyfriend, and hell, I met him at a bar!

When you get out of college and move, you're starting fresh. That can be scary, but it can also be very exciting, because who you become and who you choose to spend time with is entirely up to you. That's cool!!

Peaches-n-Cream · #6 02-26-2003, 03:32 PM

I'll quote Billy Joel:
"So many faces in and out of my life,
Some will last, some will just be now and then.
Life is a series of hellos and goodbyes,
I'm afraid it's time for goodbye again."

That's life. Some people in your life are permanent and some are temporary and situational. I am sorry that you are having a hard time with your chapter. Perhaps you can talk to them in an attempt to resolve the problems. Good luck!

AXJules · #7 02-26-2003, 03:41 PM

Thanks for all the help everybody.

It's so easy to be like, oh, this is how it is in life, but I can't say I know everything about something I've never experienced. I mean, in high school I had all these impressions about college that were totally false. And I never really thought that college was like the only place your friends came from- which is why it was so freaky when I started talking to people at work or parents' friends at home and they were like, "I would live and die for my friends from &%()# University!!!!"

I am by no means a shy person, and I usually find myself making acquaintences w/people just about anywhere, but it sucks to walk through the house you pay $4500 a year for and go, "%*$( you, $(*%$* you, you're cool, $*#@ you" and know that if you fight with your 4 close friends, that's it. You're alone.

Yikes. But hey, I guess that's growing up, right? Right??