Anorexia and Bulemia

AngelPhiSig · #1 02-12-2003, 09:09 AM

Okay, so my friend has been anorexic and bulemic since she was like 12. She turns 21 this week.

Shes down to 102lbs and wants to be at 90. She isnt eating at ALL now... (she has had treatment before but it didnt work) She lost the majority of her weight (20lbs or more) in two weeks.

Her parents are not helping at all, when her mom found out (a while ago) she gounded her and told her to stop. Her mom is a nurse!!!!

She has other problems with anxiety and such and also works in a hospital. *(and yet, they havnet noticed the rapid weight loss?!)

Im afraid since this has been going on for so long that she is going to really hurt herself, have a heart attack etc., SOON! Shes getting married in July and will be too little for her dress too!

Shes 70 miles away, back in my hometown... I talked to my one prof who works with nutrition and she had the same prob with her friend and is giving me info and help, but what are your thoughts?!

AOX81 · #2 02-12-2003, 01:21 PM

I'm not speaking from my own experience but I do have friends who have been anorexic or bulemic in the past. The first thing is that she has to WANT to help herself and make a change in her life. A couple of my friends said that they did it because they felt that was the only thing that they had control over in their life. They also had problems with anxiety. I'm not sure how much body image played a role in their problems.

Is there anyway that you can talk to her fiance? Someone needs to make him realize that if she continues to do this to herself they might not be celebrating very many wedding anniversaries. Does he even know about this?

Maybe you can gather her family and some other friends and do some sort of intervention...

Let us know how things are going.

cherub · #3 02-12-2003, 05:22 PM

This thread is timely, considering that February is eating disorders month. I just received a manual for our RME about eating disorders, signs and symptoms etc. I've also had friends who have had anorexia, so know how frustrating and helpless you can feel when you can't get through to them.

Eating disorders are symptomatic of a bigger issue, usually psychological. I have to echo AOX81 and say that first, she has to realize that she needs help. Getting her fiance on side may be a good idea, since he's the closest person to her. Does she have a pastor or another person in her life who's opinion she would listen to?

I've included a link to a local organization here in Toronto that deals with eating disorders. They've got fact sheets, signs and symptoms etc. The net has a lot of info on this topic, but make sure it's coming from a reliable source!

www.sheenasplace.org/main.html

You need to open a dialogue with her in an environment where she feels comfortable. Gently ask if she thinks she needs help. Mention that you've noticed changes in her that concern you, and suggest that a professional will be able to determine if she needs more help. Tell her you're here to support her and will help her find a counsellor or doctor in her area.

Please note that I am not a medical professional and strongly urge that your friend get immediate medical and psychological attention.

Peaches-n-Cream · #4 02-12-2003, 09:30 PM

You friend needs help desperately and immediately. You need to discuss this with her family and friends and, as AOX81 mentioned, have an intervention. For some people, anorexia is a lifelong struggle like alcoholism or drug addiction. Your friend needs to be approached and her anorexia needs to be addressed by a professional.

AchtungBaby80 · #5 02-12-2003, 09:54 PM

I agree--your friend needs more help than you can give her by yourself. Why don't you talk this over with some others who are close to her, like her family or her fiance? In the meantime, don't use ridicule as a means to "snap her out of it"--trust me, it only has the opposite effect. She needs support right now, because as other have said, the eating disorder is just a manifestation of other issues that she has. I hope she gets to the point where she truly sees what she's doing to herself very soon.

sororitygirl2 · #6 02-13-2003, 12:22 AM

Go talk to a professional (or several) and ask them what to do.

sugar and spice · #7 02-13-2003, 02:05 AM

I would agree -- call a professional and ask them what to do.

Speaking from experience here, I would avoid an intervention unless that is what the therapist tells you to do. For many people with eating disorders, an intervention will just reinforce the fact that anorexia is a way to get attention and it will actually encourage them to continue their eating disordered behavior. This sounds like it may be at least partially the case with your friend, since her parents don't seem to be too worried about her eating disorders -- I wouldn't be surprised if wanting attention is a reason why her "underlying issues" eventually transformed into an eating disorder.

The problem with anorexics is that after their 18th birthday, it's almost impossible to force them to get treatment (unless it can be proved that they're mentally ill), so most of them don't end up getting treated and either just get worse and worse or end up living with some form of an eating disorder for the rest of their lives.

#8 02-13-2003, 12:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by sugar and spice
I would agree -- call a professional and ask them what to do.

Speaking from experience here, I would avoid an intervention unless that is what the therapist tells you to do. For many people with eating disorders, an intervention will just reinforce the fact that anorexia is a way to get attention and it will actually encourage them to continue their eating disordered behavior.

YES! As a recovering anorexic, one of the worst things that well-meaning friends would do to me was try to "help" me by staging intervention type things. Sugar and Spice is absolutely right... most people with eating disorders are well aware of the fact that they have a problem, but either feel unable to do anything about it, or are unwilling to do anything about it because it's "working" for them. I was one of the latter... I knew I had a problem, I knew what I was doing was unhealthy, but I was getting the attention I wanted, and I (thought that I) looked good. Especially since you mention she has been in treatment before, I highly doubt that she is unaware she has a problem.

To echo what others have said, I'd talk to her family and see if you can get in touch with the doctor who was treating her before. Even though they may not seem like they care all that much, it is probably more of an issue of denial for them. 'She's already been in treatment and she's better now' type thinking. Tell her fiance you are concerned about her.

*hug*

Check out the memories of my journal, Ali, under "eating disorder'. That might give you some insight into what she's feeling.

AngelPhiSig · #9 02-14-2003, 06:31 AM

Im going to attempt to see her for the hour or so that I dont have guard this weekend... and see how she looks... Im preparing for the worst and hoping for the best. My prof told me to make the appointment and tell her, and offer to go with her (she did that for her friend) and if she dosent want to go, she dosent have to... but hopefully she will...