Should I or Not?

[UKDaisy]

Hey guys! I have a huge weight on my heart right now. My really good friend finally talked me into joining her sorority. A group where I know a lot of the older girls and I think highly of them. But I turned in my COB form last semester and although I got a call to come over and see the house again that was it. I never got a call to come to a party or that they would meet me to eat. It was always, "we eat at 5 you can come if you want".

But the worst thing happened last week. During a COB event I went to their table to sign up again and the new girls were there. They completely ignored me!! I asked questions, they didn't answer. I stood there for 45 seconds before anyone said anything to me. It was embarssing.

A group of girls from another sorority noticed me getting ignored and recommended me to do formal recruitment in the fall. The bad part about that is that I'll be a senior, although I do have another year after that and juniors and seniors don't count against quota, and I have band the week of recruitment. So I'd be running back and forth.

I felt more welcomed at the group of girls who weren't recruiting for COB (their sorority had made quota) than I did at the one I wanted to be in. So should I give my first sorority pick another chance and just keep pushing my way in? Or is what the second group did and other sororities did, by asking me to dinner and come and picking me up the way things are suppose to go?

Please help. I really want to join a sorority and get more involved than I already am. Sorry this is so long!

[PenguinTrax]

Sounds like you should concentrate your efforts on getting to know the group that is making such an effort to get to know you.

You can mention to your friend that you felt very put-out by the attitude of her sisters, but I wouldn't push it too much past that to be honest.

Sounds like the second group is interested in you...I'd investigate that option further and see where it takes you.

[AchtungBaby80]

UKDaisy, did you get my PM?

I guess the bottom line is, you should be where you feel most comfortable. Even though your best friend is a member of one sorority, that doesn't mean that the same sorority is the best fit for you. You say you really like the older girls, though, so maybe things will be all right once the new girls get to know you. The flip side of that is, the new girls will be the ones you'll be spending time with after the older members have graduated.

I know you feel sort of snubbed (I would, too), but for your sanity's sake, try not to take it personally. That sounds really cheesy, but let's consider for a moment that the group you wanted just isn't very good at COB. That doesn't mean they didn't like you. Personally, I don't think just telling people to "drop by the house" around a certain time if they want to works very well, because most people don't want to just march up to a houseful of people they don't know and ask to be COB'd. What we always did when we found out someone was interested was to invite her to dinner on a specific day so that she could meet the chapter. But different chapters do COB different ways, so take that into account.

As for formal rush, that may be the only way to get into the houses you're looking at if they're the ones who usually make quota during, or shortly after, fall recruitment. If you have any questions about rush at UK, I'll try to answer them for you. Good luck!

[UKDaisy]

Thanks for your replies!!! AchtungBaby80 I PM'd you. If you didn't get it its just telling you that I didn't get your original PM,
Thanks!!

[DGMarie]

You're in TBS, right? So was I. I know EXACTLY what you mean about band and rush conflicting. I have to say I'm not sure how you can swing both at the same time. Band camp was the entire day the entire week and running back and forth. Will your director let you out? When are you doing TBS rush because ours was the same time as panhellenic rush.