PlayaHata Awards 2002

[CrimsonTide4]

http://www.playahata.com/pages/phdawards2002.htm

Playahata Awards 2002
Before our ceremony begins please rise for the playing of the Playahata.com Anthem performed by DMX - "Ya’ll gone make me lose my mind / up in here, up in here, ya’ll gone make me go all out / up in here up in here / Ya’ll gone make us act a fool up in here / up in here

(Okay you may now be seated)

1) Movie of the Year: Bowling for Columbine

Yeah, we know it was technically a documentary but we make the rules! They say you reach a man’s heart through his stomach; who knows how true that is, but you can definitely reach a person’s intellect through humor. Whether you came to the movies to laugh, to cry, or just to be challenged, this film will likely get you there. Bowling for Columbine is probably Michael Moore’s best film work to date, and it couldn’t have come at a better time. You may not have seen this film but its not too late. His website is worth book marking also.

Runner up: Antwone Fisher

Overall the last 18 months have proven to be good for the film industry. It is evidenced by the ticket sales but I think most people will admit that they have seen a number of at least decent movies recently. I guess people need that false reality, escapism that film offers when reality stinks. Denzel Washington’s directorial debut, Antwone Fisher, is excellent. It is what we call a tear jerker. A movie which uses excellent subtly to convey messages, a new jack actor burst on the screen and reminds us of why all the films in the drama category usually get the Academy nod. No official film website and a limited release doesn't stop this from being a great film. It's rumored to have been unanimously nominated for an Oscar, so I guess we were not alone.

*The funny thing is that initially, we were going to give runner up to Drumline but early evidence indicates that this film was a complete rip off of an earlier film named “Pay The Price”, which was based on almost the same storyline and even featured some of the same actors, in the hip hop world we call that biting. "Pay the Price" director/producer Darryl Lassiter came up with the idea in 1991, although it took him eight years to put the concept to film, & try as he might, he couldn't get major distribution which is a typical problem when you don't have a huge name backing you. Lassiter met with Jordan Bratman, an assistant to Dallas Austin -- who produced "Drumline" several times between June and October 2000, he showed Bratman his screenplay & film, proposing that Austin help finance its distribution, and asked that Austin be the director of "Drumline", so now he is suing Austin. Dallas Austin should be smacked for trying to convince us that this is coincidence. In the meantime Charles Stone III did a wonderful job with Lassiter's script and turned it into something inspiring & entertaining, that you can take the whole family to see. It has already tripled it's production cost and will probably go even higher as the film has crossed over to majority white audiences after its 3rd week.


2) Rap Album of the Year: Tie Quality - Talib Kweli and God’s Son - Nas

Hip-hop’s most overlooked rapper has done it again (that description was for Kweli). While Mos-Def is off doing his best Taye Diggs impersonation, Talib Kweli has made quite a name for himself on the hip-hop scene without sacrificing the music or his soul. Meanwhile across town, after having his career rejuvenated by a very public feud with Jay-Z, Nas has responded with what are likely his best 3 albums since his debut album, Illmatic. Nobody knows (probably not even Nas) what state of mind he’ll be in, or which persona will be inhabiting his body in a week, much less a year from now – but we do like the music of the guy who is putting out albums now.


3) R&B Album of the Year: Instant Vintage - Rapheal Saadiq
There’s always room for argument in R&B honors but out of the albums our staff heard Saadiq staked the strongest claim to the top honor this year. Instant Vintage didn’t move many units (although nowadays that’s the case with a lot of people) or garner much attention, but Saadiq’s solo debut showed the world who was the engine behind successes like Toni!Tony!Tone! and Lucy Pearl.

Honorable Mentions:

Donnie -Welcome to the Colored Section - soul music, the way they used to do it.

Meshell Ndegeocello - Cookie: The Anthropological Mixtape - revolutionary soul singing!

Jaheim’s Still Ghetto – the man with the golden voice, now only if he would stop being “ghetto” he could take it to the next level.

4) Teflon Don Award: Chris Judd

This award goes to the bulletproof personality of the year. No matter what people say negative about them, it just bounces off upon further review. This year’s award goes to Chris Judd. In a nutshell he was an unknown dancer of moderate looks and financial status. He was probably rumored to be homosexual just because of his occupation and chances are he and Jennifer Lopez were really never in love, so I doubt he was crushed by the divorce. J-Lo allegedly had to pay him 10 million dollars, he kept all his assets (everything he had in that duffle bag), and now he is rumored to be dating an up and coming Hollywood star, Rosario Dawson, whom Ooh Papi confirms is the hottest of the two in Boricua circles. And Rosario Dawson probably won’t give him half the drama.

5) Guilty Before Proven Innocent Award: Robert Kelly
This award goes to Robert Kelly a.k.a. R.Kelly. Ole Boy has an O.J. Simpson thing going on, he is going to be clowned and the butt of jokes regardless of the outcome of his coming trial. The majority of people who saw the tape all know it's him. It was filmed in his home and the scientist at Clonaid are not claiming responsibility. Plus implying it may have been R.Kelley’s brother on the tape was some pretty shady stuff for his legal team to do.

Runner up: Mystikal
We haven’t seen the tape but he better hope they don’t admit his albums as evidence. He might want to settle this one out of court because it’s not sounding too good for ol’boy.

6) The Antonio Fargas Award (Pimp Player of the Year): The Bush Administration
We were going to try and single out one particular pimp in the administration, but they were all running so many hoes that we decided to do a group thing. I mean come on, these pimps have officially put down their ‘goon hand’ on the American people (and much of the world). They’ve pimped an extremely suspicious situation like 9-11-2001 into all types of social cutbacks, tax cuts for the rich, military expense increases, war plans, and the framework for a police state. Not to mention they’ve brought back all types of criminals and thugs from previous administrations, like John Poindexter and Elliott Abrams. Is there a heaven for a gangsta? We don’t know but there may be a spot in the White House.

Runner Up: Nobody even close!

7) ODB AWARD (Most Deluded and/or Strung Out Personality): Whitney Houston & Bobby Brown

You remember that crack couple in New Jack City, well maybe that was based on a true story. Could two in love people be more in love, and worse for each other, than these two. Bobby’s got the always chapped lips, Whitney lost even more weight because "she forgot to eat", and they’re teaming up to do incoherent interviews on ABC. But let us chill! Whitney doesn’t use crack, “Crack is for poor people” and Bobby only smokes weed to treat his bipolar disorder a.k.a. "Weed Headicus Maximus".

Runner Up: Michael Jackson

Ok we don’t think MJ is using drugs but he is getting high on something – maybe he’s smoking the 80’s. Granted this dude has been a fading for years now but MIKE it’s not 1985 anymore so don’t expect to sell 30 million albums again. First he comes to the conclusion that he is a black male when he comes to Harlem, next thing you know he’s hanging babies off balconies. Speaking of Mike’s babies, I wonder if he got his babies from Clonaid? Nah - cause if he did that, they’d be black.


8) The Brotha wit Da High Score Award: 'Huey'

We have to change this award name or make up another award because the most pioneering, outspoken, and dynamic people in 2002 were not brothers but actually women, i.e. former Congresswoman, Cynthia McKinney. So this year we have selected Huey to replace last year's winner Aaron McGruder. Huey may not be real but his take on politics and American pop culture usually is.

9)Chevron Award (Most Overrated and/or Gassed up Artist): Jeffrey Atkins a.k.a. Ja Rule

DMX and 50 Cent are just a few of his colleagues that hit the roof, whenever they hear his voice (welcome to the party) but we wonder what took'em so long. We hope he has been saving his money because it looks like he is going to win next year’s Fading Fast Award. After that most recent album, The Last Temptation, lil’ Ja-ja may need to fall back and concentrate on doing ballads, or a duet album. Hell, maybe he can join the Temptations … “It’s RULE BABY”!

Runner Up: Ashanti

Yeah she's a cutie (isn't everybody), and she sold a lot of records this year, but at least she doesn’t seem really full of herself otherwise she’d really be in trouble. Isn’t it crazy how the industry selects people each year, to be this year’s superstar. This year it was Ashanti, last year it was Alicia Keys. Hopefully this isn’t a trend because that would mean that they were heading in the wrong direction talent wise.

10) Allen Iverson Award (Artist trying the Hardest to Crossover): Jennifer Lopez

Who ever heard of somebody trying to cross back over. I’m “still Jenny from the block”! “I’m real”! Give us a break. Next thing you know she’ll be trying to get her booty all the way back. The pending marriage to Ben Affleck won't satisfy her either, she will probably dump him in 18 months and head after Prince Charles.


11) Mantan Award (Community Disservice Award): Condoleezza Rice

It has been written by one international journalist that she is a "pitiful woman who has dealt a blow to the image of the African-American in the eyes of the vast majority of the world's inhabitants". That sentiment is echoed abroad but you won't read that in many American newspapers. In fact in the U.S. she is heralded by media but if you understand what's really going on, you will know she has to get this award. She was quiet late in 2002 but early in the year she provided more illogical and ignorant statements than any of George Bush's crew. According to Rice, we didn't need a Civil Rights movement, "they[most whites] were just about to come around" or her other statement about growing up under segregation. Whereby she stated "I did not experience racism, my family was not poor and shielded me from that". But check our archives if you want some more of her "odd but true" remarks.


Eat and Sleep Award: Star of New York’s Hot 97 Morning Show.

He won the Mantan Award last year and he deserves to win something again this year. Initially it seemed like a deliberate act of coonery but he carries the personality of "ignorance personified" with him everywhere he goes. It was approximately one year ago he said he was going to lead a protest against J-Lo for using the N-word (although he never showed up). He said it wasn't a term he used casually or on the station airwaves. Fast Forward to this year and every other word out of his mouth is N*gga this, N*gga that. Spike Lee has to let him audition for Bamboozled 2.


12) Evolution Award (Changing 4 the better): Snoop Dogg

This award goes to the public figure who has evolved the most for the better. Snoop Dogg made incredible strides in 2002, he quit using weed, quit drinking, and quit using the N-word, even though that apparently doesn’t apply to his albums. Even still, it’s a major turn around. Could it be time to stop bootlegging Snoop Albums; Not that we support music piracy (and not that we don't).

Runner Up: Allen Iverson: He's going to practice and he finally married his baby's mother. It's evident he is focused and that the media is just trying to phuck with him over stupid stuff. Crying cause he wore a Celtic jersey to pay homage to Bill Russell. Give us a break, he knows some NBA history. Don't participate in the HATE. He has kept his friends and at the same time kept out of trouble. Many of you were thinking that story about the gun and him putting his wife out of the mansion butt ass naked was true .... prove it. This boy grew up, even Mumia Abu Jamal said so (We type this with our fingers crossed).