My soror is dating my ex!!!!!!

CuriousGreek · #1 03-28-2001, 06:05 PM

How would you react to your sorority sister dating someone you were in love with after you broke up?

finest_alum · #2 03-28-2001, 06:41 PM

Did she tell you privately or did you find out through a grapevine?

CuriousGreek · #3 03-29-2001, 12:14 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by finest_alum:
Did she tell you privately or did you find out through a grapevine?

Well hypothetically speaking...I dont think it would matter how it came about...I think those are distinct boundaries that should not be croseed

shadokat · #4 03-29-2001, 10:39 AM

I'm with you CuriousGreek. Not only amongst sisters, but even among my own friends, this is a definite NO! Did she bother to ask you how you felt? Dissing at its finest if you ask me.

dc1 · #5 03-29-2001, 10:44 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by CuriousGreek:
How would you react to your sorority sister dating someone you were in love with after you broke up?

Perhaps you should just say: "I think that what you are doing is in poor taste"
And then move on... in a year it won't matter; in two years you probably laugh; and in five years you won't remember.

------------------
Faced with the Divine, I was asked; "What one gift do you seek?"
I answered ever so meekly; "I seek Honor, Truth, Integrity, and Wisdom, yet those are four. How am I to choose?"
The answer came as a pounding whisper; "The four you seek are but one. I grant thee Compassion; for without it the four make none."
Author - me

CutiePie2000 · #6 03-29-2001, 12:05 PM

I agree that that is an awkward and unpleasant situation to be in.

I have a small question regarding the dating a sorority sister's ex...
Can a GLO woman ever date a sorority sister's ex? (Say a year later or 6 months later)?

Is there a "statute of limitations" or anything like that?
Or does it depend more on a case by case basis?

persephone631 · #7 03-29-2001, 12:06 PM

One of my sorority sisters did this to me not to long ago, and not only did I hear it from someone else, but she had told my friends to lie to me about it because she didnt want to hurt me... hmmm guess she knew she was wrong. In my opinion their is an unspoken rule that you at least need to talk to your sister before you date anyone she has dated to see how she feels about it, becasue your sister is more important than some boy. But lucky for me I found someone who treats me so much better, and so will you.

Miami1839 · #8 03-29-2001, 12:19 PM

I would NEVER even think of going anywhere near one of my brothers ex's. My brother is more important than any girl. Plus I can imagine all the problems it might cause. Of course I'm a guy and maybe its different but I wouldnt like it if one of my brothers did that to me either.

royalbluelady · #9 03-29-2001, 02:26 PM

I think this is a big NO-NO. I would not date my sorority sister, blood sister, cousin or best friends ex. It's a matter of respect.

If she came to you and asked how you felt about the situation, that would make it a little easier to accept. Timing is another issue. Is the breakup recent? If you have been separated for a long period of time, I think I still would have approached you and told you I was interested him. That would have gaven you the opportunity to access the situation.

Siobhan · #10 03-30-2001, 01:45 AM

We have the same unspoken rule in our chapter. If a sister is really intent on dating someone's ex, she should talk to that sister first. And if that sister has no problem with it, then there's no prob. But we always say "why would you want somebody else's dirty laundry?!"

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Delta Phi Epsilon
Delta Gamma Chapter
University of British Columbia
Sigma 1996

pledgetrainer2 · #11 03-31-2001, 05:33 AM

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Miami1839:
[B]I would NEVER even think of going anywhere near one of my brothers ex's. My brother is more important than any girl.

Please don't tell me that you really believe this! Things can always be worked out, but PLEASE don't tell me that you really don't think that you would value ANY girl over a brother, because it doesn't sound like you will ever find someone very special.

Please don't take this as pushing the idea of trying get into complicated dating situations. Taken out of the particular situation that we are talking about, it sounds sad.

[This message has been edited by pledgetrainer2 (edited March 31, 2001).]

MaryMayXO · #12 04-01-2001, 01:05 AM

At my chapter, we have a rule: Sister's boyfriends AND ex-boyfriends are off limits!! It just makes life a whole lot easier that way. NO DRAMA. We try to stress that no matter what, your sisters will be around forever and guys come and go. Basically, dating a sister's ex isn't worth all the heartache, there are soo many guys around who don't have ties to your sisters! Asking permission is the best thing to do, if you feel like you HAVE to be with this boy. But honestly, dating a sister's ex could just be wierd, like at date functions and formals. It's not worth trouble!!

May

Lots-a-Heart · #13 04-01-2001, 04:28 PM

This will sound bad...but in my sorority I swear the motto on guys is "reduce, re-use, recycle!!" there are many sisters who I think "swapped" boy friends!! It can be nasty and definatly upsetting, but the important factor is that everyone is mature about it. It totally sucks but its not like you could "blackball" her...just hope that he breaks her heart very soon!!!

------------------
Sarah Lyon
Sister Lots-a-Heart, #9
President, Iota Beta Chi Sorority
http://welcome.to/iotabetachi

33girl · #14 04-01-2001, 08:30 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Lots-a-Heart:
This will sound bad...but in my sorority I swear the motto on guys is "reduce, re-use, recycle!!"

HAHAHAHAHAHA....I can relate to that.

If you are at a small school and the Greek community is relatively insular, sometimes it's hard to avoid. You have a lot in common being in the same sorority or fraternity, so it's only natural you would be attracted to the same people.

It can be a "what the hay, it's all in the family!" type situation or it can be a total trauma, or in between. It also depends on how close you are to that brother or sister. So I wouldn't want to say "don't ever do it" but tread lightly if at all possible.

Miami1839 · #15 04-01-2001, 09:07 PM

First, I'm going to be respectful and tactful about this. I'm not exactly sure where this came from and it sure came as a shock to me. I'm going to try to answer this as best I can. Maybe you misinterpreted what I was trying to say. I'm saying that I would never go after a girl that my brother was going out with or my brother's ex. I wouldnt do it. Ever. What you believe is what you believe and I respect that. I'm not really sure though what makes you think I'll never "find" anyone special. I dont really think anyone would truly know that answer and this IS the internet. I've never met you and you dont truly know me or my Brothers. I definitely dont know what your talking about with the idea of dating situations and me. I know where your coming from but it just seems like your putting this forum in left field. Again, I respect your opinion, but that doesnt mean that I think your right.

Kevin

[quote]Originally posted by pledgetrainer2:
[b]

Quote:

Originally posted by Miami1839:
I would NEVER even think of going anywhere near one of my brothers ex's. My brother is more important than any girl.

Please don't tell me that you really believe this! Things can always be worked out, but PLEASE don't tell me that you really don't think that you would value ANY girl over a brother, because it doesn't sound like you will ever find someone very special.

Please don't take this as pushing the idea of trying get into complicated dating situations. Taken out of the particular situation that we are talking about, it sounds sad.

[This message has been edited by pledgetrainer2 (edited March 31, 2001).]