Dating slump?

annice22 · #1 01-11-2003, 11:24 AM

Hi

I'm currently in a dating slump. I feel like all the guys here at my school are a bunch of players and are just out to get some. Especially the frat boys. Maybe I'll just take some time out and just relax and save myself some time and just not date any losers this school year.

Last semester I met 3 losers. To make it even worse my school has a small greek system so I will see them again this semester.

But is anyone else having a dating slump? If so, how are you dealing?

annice22

Phi Sigma Sigma

Imthechamp · #2 01-11-2003, 01:56 PM

hi, you just described 96% of the male population.

ChiOqt · #3 01-11-2003, 02:01 PM

That sounds more like 99% of the male population....especially here! Along with every guy I've met. And it never fails that I see ALLLL of them at one place, one time..it's like revenge of the ex's!

DeltaSigStan · #4 01-11-2003, 02:05 PM

Course, when you DO meet that 1%, you just wanna be their friends, right?

Hootie · #5 01-11-2003, 02:07 PM

Maybe it's best that you NOT LOOK for a guy and he will eventually find you

I always go for that saying because if I'm looking then I'm trying too hard to find Mr. Right and always come up with Mr. Wrong! So just relax and enjoy some time to yourself. Have some fun going out with your friends and/or sisters. Men can always wait!

Imthechamp · #6 01-11-2003, 02:38 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by DeltaSigStan
Course, when you DO meet that 1%, you just wanna be their friends, right?

Nah, when most women meet the 1%, they end up fucking the relationship up then go cry about how all men are assholes.

James · #7 01-11-2003, 03:19 PM

Uh, there is a very little excuse for an objectively attractive girl to be ina dating slump.

No only do guys in general pay more attention to you, but if you are a little bit agressive you should be able to pick a lot of guys up.

If you aren't the kind of girl that will be the agressor then you are forced to be at the mercy of whichever guy tries to pick you up. Not a situation indicative of a lot of choice lol.

Here are some mental tricks I use while dating.

Stop looking for Mr. Right. Look for Mr. Right now and allow him to become Mr. Right, if he really is.

That reduces some of the pressure because you stop forcing the other person into a mold.

Think in terms of auditioning. Dating and even being serious is a way of auditionining, or letting someone try out for your team. As you get to know them better you see if they play well enough to keep them.

And you know there are always other people that want the part. So why keep someone that isn't as good as someone else?

Oh and get over your fear of being hurt. You will always get hurt, and you will always recover from it lo. After all, you haven't died yet

.

Allie · #8 01-11-2003, 03:29 PM

Sign me into the dating slump club

My last two bf's haven't been students at MSU, so I never really see them. It has been over a year since I broke up with the last ex, and I haven't been on a single date since then I personally don't count taking my gay friend to formal as a date *lol*

Anywho, I know who I am and that I will in time meet a guy that has the same values, goals, and interests that I do. Patience is the key

valkyrie · #9 01-11-2003, 03:33 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by James
Uh, there is a very little excuse for an objectively attractive girl to be ina dating slump.

No only do guys in general pay more attention to you, but if you are a little bit agressive you should be able to pick a lot of guys up.

If you aren't the kind of girl that will be the agressor then you are forced to be at the mercy of whichever guy tries to pick you up. Not a situation indicative of a lot of choice lol.

As usual, I agree with James.

A lot of times, if you are an attractive woman, guys won't always approach you, or if they do, they're the obnoxious, player guys. Why? Because if you're attractive, the nicer, cooler guys may be a little intimidated, or they may assume that you're already with someone else. That's why making the first move can be a great thing -- because then YOU are taking control of who you meet. If you wait for guys to talk to you, you are taking the risk that you are going to meet aggressive, but not quality, guys.

So I would say that to get out of your slump, you might want to consider getting out there and talking to the people you see out that YOU would like to meet. Also, if you're not all about the fraternity guys at your school, get out to bars or other places where you can meet some non greek men and see how that works.

Good luck, and keep us posted!

FAB*SpiceySpice · #10 01-11-2003, 03:54 PM

Dude, we have our whole lives to find that "special" person and marry them and spend our entire life with 'em. BE HAPPY that you have freedom now, people do it the wrong way. They want these huge meaningful relationships right now at our age and then when the time comes when they SHOULD be having these serious relationships, they're bored and they start having affairs. Blah. Personally, I'm just fine on my own. And I agree with Hootie, the more you look for guys, the less you're gonna find. Just relax, and don't worry about it. Guys don't it doesn't seem like, why should we?

ZetaLuvBunny · #11 01-11-2003, 05:10 PM

I hear ya! I'm in my 2nd yr of college now, and I haven't had a serious boyfriend since my Senior yr of high school. Even since I've been in college, I have met tons of guys and even kissed a lot of guys, but I've only had "dating status" with one- a Kappa Sig here, and that was back in September. I was introduced to him by one of my sisters at Greek Fest & he later told her he thought I was cute & so on. Anyhow, when I had to leave mid-semester b/c I didn't have my loan to pay tuition, we kinda just stopped talking, & now he apparently has a serious girlfriend.

It seems that 90% of the time when a guy likes me I KNOW it b4 I'm even told or anything, but I'm usually only aware of it if it's a guy I'm totally NOT attracted to, b/c really nerdy guys just seem overly desperate & obvious I suppose. I am certainly not feeling desperate right now, b/c I think once the semester really gets rolling again I'll meet a lot more guys, but I am kinda missing just having cute guys like me even if we're not dating, ya know?

I do understand what people are saying about being tied down though, cuz I know when I've been hanging out with a particular guy almost 24/7 for even a few days I get really sick of him & I'm just like "ugh...". I guess that explains why my shortest relationship was 3 & 1/2 months LOL. Maybe from now on I should try taking it more slowly & not seeing a guy more than twice a week.

agger_rob · #12 01-11-2003, 06:50 PM

Why be worried about a slump? Being single is some of the most fun you can have. You can go out with your friends whenever you want and don't have to check to see if the bf/gf wants to come along or has plans. You can flirt and make out or hook up and don't have to worry about pissing someone off. And you can just be yourself and not always be part of a couple. I took myself out of the game about a year ago after a particuarly bad breakup and I've been living it up since, and sure enough, when you're not looking, someone comes along. Don't try too hard. Have fun.

annice22 · #13 01-11-2003, 07:41 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by valkyrie

Also, if you're not all about the fraternity guys at your school, get out to bars or other places where you can meet some non greek men and see how that works.

Good luck, and keep us posted!

The bar is were all the fraternity guys are at my school. But I agree with a lot of people in this post that I should just enjoy being single and have fun. I plan on it! This semester I will try not to meet too many players. And I'm sure with time that I'll get over this slump.

FSS

James · #14 01-11-2003, 08:04 PM

Uh, being single and "having fun" is often predicated on how much you hook-up lol. so just hook-up with tons of men

Quote:

Originally posted by annice22

The bar is were all the fraternity guys are at my school. But I agree with a lot of people in this post that I should just enjoy being single and have fun. I plan on it! This semester I will try not to meet too many players. And I'm sure with time that I'll get over this slump.

FSS

annice22 · #15 01-11-2003, 08:17 PM

No, oh no hooking up only means more problems then you have to worry about all the other emotions, gossip (I'm at a small university and a small greek system) word get around about who's been with whom on this campus.

So, I'm just going to have fun with out hooking up with some random dudes.