How Long Do You (or Can You) Wait??

ClassyLady · #1 12-23-2002, 03:15 PM

My friends and I were talking about what is the appropriate length of time to wait before having sex with someone. One of my female friends says that you should wait until after the seventh date. A male friend of mine says that if it hasn't happened by the fourth date, he's no longer intereted. And, two friends, male and female, go for it as soon as they want to.

So, I ask you GC, how long do you wait?

Love_Spell_6 · #2 12-23-2002, 03:19 PM

I don't have casual sex. And by this I mean with men I'm just "dating." I don't think anyone should have sex outside of a monogamous relationship. (Although many people think they are in a monogamous relationship and arent

)

But, right now, I personally don't plan on having sex until I'm married. If the man can't wait, then he's not the one.

UDZETA · #3 12-23-2002, 04:09 PM

casual sex is not my thing. I think you should both be in love before you start getting it on. Not married but in love...You want to be carefull when it comes this type of thing. There are too many diseases around to have casual sex. And accidents can happen. There shouldn't be a set number of dates that makes having sex ok. You should both want to do it(not in a lustful manner) Each person is different and who am I to say what is ok for anyone else but myself.

blackcoffee · #4 12-23-2002, 05:12 PM

I will say this....I'm going to tell my daughter, when she gets around the age of "exploring" to wait until you're married. There is just too much disease going around and how do you know if the one you're "in-love" with right now is going to be Mr. Husband? It's just not worth it.

librasoul22 · #5 12-23-2002, 05:56 PM

I am not a staunch proponent of one or the other. I think if the chemistry is right during any point in the relationship, then go for it. However, I also think it is important to communicate so that neither party has higher expectations about it.

Personally, I have very high standards anyway, so casual sex isn't really an option.

exquizit · #6 12-23-2002, 08:44 PM

Ladies (and a few gents)

I feel that each person should do just what they feel. I'm sure that in this day and age that we all know about the risks of sex and the importance of protection. As long as all those bases are covered and you've reviewed the personal outcome, then do what YOU feel.

I'm a grown azz woman and if I feel that at that point and time I want to crank, then quite frankly Ex is gonna crank.

RedefinedDiva · #7 12-23-2002, 10:02 PM

To answer the question, I don't think that a time limit should be placed on when one should have sex. If those two persons are responsible and adult enough to take the proper precautions and handle what comes with sex, then cool. Whenever they feel comfortable is the right time. That's on them. I can't shoot down anyone's choices because it is a matter of individual preference.

Wonderful1908 · #8 12-23-2002, 11:32 PM

Until recently I would have agreed with most people on this thread that sex is a matter of personal choice (and eventually it is). I think that because we have grown up in a society and in a generation where sex is sad to say, not as sacred an act as it is meant to be, it has become something that we don't concern ourselves with seriuosly. I think when it comes to sex people consider that a very personal decision and much like abortion people don't want to be told how or why they should live their lives a certain way. Especially if there is a slight suggestion what they are doing is wrong or immoral. Who wants to have that shoved in their face or be reminded of their choices. I think if we would remind ourselves that this earth is ONLY a stopping place we may remember where our ultimate destination is, and we have to live our lives with that in mind. If you have causual sex or you destined to be banned to hell? Of course not, our God forgives. I myself struggle with the issue of being engaged but not married to my son's father. However when we willingly do something we KNOW does not please God, we should make an effort to correct those actions rather than dwell in them, and blame it on the times we live in.

blackcoffee · #9 12-24-2002, 12:29 AM

Quote:

[i] I think if we would remind ourselves that this earth is ONLY a stopping place we may remember where our ultimate destination is, and we have to live our lives with that in mind. If you have causual sex or you destined to be banned to hell? Of course not, our God forgives. I myself struggle with the issue of being engaged but not married to my son's father. However when we willingly do something we KNOW does not please God, we should make an effort to correct those actions rather than dwell in them, and blame it on the times we live in. [/B]

Well said!!

Honeykiss1974 · #10 12-24-2002, 09:41 PM

*lol* @ Exquisit.....
CRANK?

, I've never heard of "it" being referred to as CRANK! *lol* . And I thought I hated the term " Bump Uglies"!
But back to the question....

I would say that in general there is no magical number. There should definitely be no "cranking" going on until a frank discussion has been had concerning feelings, sexual history, current "disease" status verification, etc. This rule applies to all of us, regardless as to what you're plans are (i.e. saving until marriage, waiting for a LTR, etc.).

Steeltrap · #11 12-24-2002, 09:50 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Honeykiss1974 (in part)
[B]*lol* @ Exquisit.....
CRANK?

, I've never heard of "it" being referred to as CRANK! *lol* . And I thought I hated the term " Bump Uglies"!
But back to the question....[B]

There have been several threads referring to "cranking" as an "energetic communication between a man and woman."

I'm also not at all into casual sex. Because of my age, I admit that I'm only looking for LTR/marriage potentials, and a man will have to work for it.

exquizit · #12 12-24-2002, 09:55 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Steeltrap

There have been several threads referring to "cranking" as an "energetic communication between a man and woman."

I choked on my egg nog at this !!! Have a Merry Christmas Steeltrap!!

Steeltrap · #13 12-24-2002, 11:19 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by exquizit

I choked on my egg nog at this !!! Have a Merry Christmas Steeltrap!!

Merry Christmas, exquizit. I'm glad I drew a chuckle, but I remember those threads -- because a key MIA GCer participated.

Ideal08 · #14 12-25-2002, 12:04 AM

The thread has been cleaned up. Please continue on with the original conversation. Thank you.

showstopper_1908 · #15 12-25-2002, 02:09 AM

I agree with most others, that this is a personal decision. I won't tell anyone else how to live their lives. I won't look down on them because they don't choose the path that I choose either. My path is meant for me. Some people want to make it a morals issue, for some a religious issue and for others they make it a health issue. Personally, I will do it when I feel I am ready. Seven dates does not a boyfriend make, but sometimes after 4 you know that this is the person you want to be with. I follow my heart because it's never steered me wrong. If someone wants to wait until they get a diamond ring because mama told them to, then that's their thing. For myself I don't have a set standard of time to wait, I have a set feeling.