Big Sis question

sweetheart4u · #1 12-25-2002, 09:30 PM

Hey I need some advice. I am currently a new member of Tri-Sigma and we have not yet ranked who we want as Big Sis'. There is one girl that I would LOVE to have as a Big Sis because we just get along really well and I view her as someone that I can really respect. The problem is that she doesn't plan to take a lil sis this semster. The reason(s) being 1. Money and 2. Her and her big aren't getting along (which should be resolved before we get initiated anyway). She was telling me how expensive it is to be a big sis b/c of the initiation gifts and buying the family letters, the thing is, that I don't know that I really care if my big sis spends money on me or not. I see the gifts as something that are just perks to having a big sis, but not the real reason. So back to the point, there aren't really any other girls in the chapter that I am sure I would want to have as big-sis' Anyone have advice?

sigma3 · #2 12-25-2002, 10:22 PM

I'm a Tri-Sigma too, at Murray State. This actually just happened in our chapter, except the Big set it up like that because she new the new member wanted her. So she had our V.P. keep her name off the list, letting the new member think she wasn't taking one. It was great because the new member was sooo excited to find out she got who she really wanted even though the big wasn't on the list. We really had her going, thinking the person she wanted was taking one, saying it was because of money, etc. That obviously doesn't mean this is what this girl is doing, however, even though she isn't on the list, put her name in the first position and then rank anyone esle you put down lower. Some older members will end up taking a little if they find out that one of the new members really wants them. I know when we were doing big/lil matches, I kept saying I only wanted a little that wanted me. So, she may end up taking you even though she isn't on the list if she's asked because you put her first. And even if she doesn't, someone else is going to want you. And it's been my experience that if they really want you, they'll be a good big to you and you two will get along great. Sigma love to you. What school are you at?

Courtney

XOMichelle · #3 12-25-2002, 11:19 PM

Talk to your New Member Educator/VP/Advisor. Tell them what you think!
Also, sometimes people don't take little sis's if they already have one and someone else does not. Unfortunately, it can be the luck of the draw.
Good luck!
ll,
M

pinkyphimu · #4 12-26-2002, 05:38 PM

Even if this woman does not become your big sis, that doesn't mean you can't be close!!! you may also find that you have a lot more in common with someone else than you think! make an effort to get close to your big (if it doesn't turn out to be your first choice) and you might find something great!

lovelyKD · #5 12-26-2002, 05:54 PM

My Big Sis was not my first choice. I actually put her down fifth but I could not be happier to have her as my Big. I totally look up to her and respect her and could not imagine having someone else in her place. If you don't get your ffirst choice as your big it's for a reason. I'm sure that you will be happy with who you end up with.

ZTAMelissa · #6 12-27-2002, 04:10 AM

I actually had a sister that put a note in my pledge sister's file apologizing to her for not being able to take her as a little because she knew she wanted her so badly. She was so crushed, but she did it because she knew she was already going to be her big. So, she may very well just be setting you up... And even if that's not the case, things happen for a reason and you end up with who you're supposed to be with. I got my first choice (I was lucky) but two days after I turned in the list, I wanted to put someone else down as my first choice whom I had ranked second. Luckily for me, my second choice ended up leaving the chapter, so I'm glad I got a big who stuck around! (even though she's transferring this semester

)but that's better than losing her the semester I got her. You'll get who you're supposed to and later it'll feel like you can't imagine another sister being your big but that one. It's a lot like when you picked who to pledge...

HotDamnImAPhiMu · #7 12-27-2002, 02:46 PM

My roommate's a Sigma, and I know it's really important to Stacey that she take care of her little sisters. Buying them letters and little gifts isn't spending money to her -- it's welcoming them into a sisterhood that means the world to her.

Maybe the girl you want as your big is worried you won't feel as welcome or as valued, and that's why she isn't taking a little. I know it's disheartening when everyone else's big is bestowing them with gifts right and left -- but then, I also know there is nothing worse than having a big sister that didn't really want a little sis.

I know you'll end up happy with whoever you get -- you joined Sigma for a reason, and your big sis will represent Sigma the best way she knows how. For that reason, you two will at least have something in common! And I agree with the other girls... you end up with who you should end up with!

sigma3 · #8 12-28-2002, 12:20 AM

I'll adopt you on the board as your board big sis. How's that? LOL! Let me know how it works out.

SLAM,
Courtney

HotDamnImAPhiMu · #9 12-28-2002, 12:48 AM

What?! No way! I want a board big sis!

PhiMuLady150 · #10 12-28-2002, 01:21 AM

I'll volunteer, I lost touch with my real little anyhow

HotDamnImAPhiMu · #11 12-28-2002, 01:43 AM

Yay! And I've lost touch with my real big. :-( A match made in Phi Mu heaven!

ZTABullwinkle · #12 12-28-2002, 02:52 PM

Sweetheart4u,

Put the big sister that you want on your list first. I did just that, and got her even though she wasn't taking a little. She spent the next week telling me how she was going out of town and wasn't even going to be at the Revealing. Boy, was I surprised!! Unfortunately, we aren't close like I had hoped.

But, it goes to show you, that if you really want to have a Big Sis your New Member Coordinator will try to make it happen.

On another note, last semester new member class at my chapter was really large and several of them were matched with their second or third choices. (And in some cases, lils were placed with big sisters not on their list.) It has worked out. The most important thing to remember is what others have said already on here, in the end everyone is going to be your sister!!!!!!

Some are going to be closer than others. And you can always be adopted!!!

Let us know how things turn out!!

Meredith