A Picture is Worth 1000 Words II -- Madea's Family Dinner

[CrimsonTide4]

Madea's Family Dinner


The JOHNSON family is gathered together for the annual Christmas blowout dinner. . .

ESTHER (woman holding mixing bowl): Louise, what are you doing to those greens? I know you did not put brown sugar in dem dere greens? Laaaaawd somebody get me my purse.

Louise: I know you are not telling me how to cook!! Esther, you ever wonder why nobody ever asks for mo of yo macaroni and cheese!?!?!? Imma tell you why. That mess has undercooked noodles and unmelted cheese. Last year when we got home, my huzband, CLEETUS, was on the toilet all night.

ESTHER: WHAT!?!?!!?!? Now see you wrong for that.

Madea (not seen in pic): Estha and Louise you just hush it RIGHT NOW!! Both you heffas can't cook. I ain't lyin' I ain't lyin'!! Where my gun?

[CrimsonTide4]

Louise: Well I was watching Chante' Porscha Jenkins' cooking show and she was showing us how we could use brown sugar in greens. She said her babyfavah loves her cooking. I figured we could have the Greens with Brown Sugar this year.

Esther: Aaaaaaaw hayle naw!! Who is Chante' Porscha Jenkins?

Louise: Girl she is the BLACK Martha Stewart but she don't be running no bidness scams or nothing. She show Black folks how to make a dollar outta fifteen cents. You shoulda watched her yesterday. She showed how you could make Christmas decorations from used pop cans. Imma try that next year.

Madea: Chile you ain't got no dayum sense. How da hayle you gonna use pop cans for Christmas decorations? Youse a ghetto heffa. I got some beer cans you can use.

Uncle Archie: TammyKiesha, you make sure you frost that red velvet cake good, ok? I love me some good frosting even though my sugar is acting up today.

TammyKiesha: Uncle Archie, where is Aunt Vivian?

Uncle Archie: Well, lessee, she got mad at me this morning when she opened her gift and realized I gave her the same present from last year. So she told me to kiss her saved azz and she decided to stay at home.

Madea: Archie, I 'clare befo God you are the cheapest mofo I know. If I was not yo mama I might tell you to kiss MY AZZ.

Rashid and Ramello (da twins): Madea, can we go play outside with our new toys?