Do you really enjoy the time with your bf's family?

Contact · #1 12-21-2002, 09:50 AM

to be honest, they are so annoying and I rarely talked to his sister becuase their subject are so tastless, everytime I go to his home for supper, I pretend to be happy and keep my face smily to them but actually I am damn bored, I just sit on the sofa and watch TV, my bf wants me to be more enthusiastic but I don't want to do something that I don't want to... how to keep this relationship long if I don't like his family...*sigh*

Lady Pi Phi · #2 12-21-2002, 10:25 AM

In my opinion, I don't think you can have a lasting relationship with a guy if you don't get along with his family. He is a part of his family, and there is no way that he would or should give up, spend less time, etc with his family because the girl doesn't like them. Nor should she even ask him to make a sacrifice between his family and his girlfriend.

Dionysus · #3 12-21-2002, 11:31 AM

What LPP said. Also, if they are just plain annoying, I say just grin and bear it. If you find something more disturbing about them, maybe you should re-evaluate the relationship, because oftentimes boyfriends ARE a reflection of their family.

Rio_Kohitsuji · #4 12-21-2002, 11:50 AM

Well, if you think it's bad now, it'll just get worse in the future. Especially if he's pretty close w/family, if you're always estranged from that, he'll choose his family over you every time *nods*

My boyfriend and I both deal w/eachothers families, lol

We both come from very large families (5 daughters my side and 6 sons his side) so we have to make time for our own and eachothers. I actually like to spend time w/his though, since his mom never had any daughters, I'm the closest to that she's ever had, lol! And since my dad never had any sons and my bf and him get along too well, my bf gets spoiled by my own father, so he doesn't mind it

~

Jadey28 · #5 12-21-2002, 11:54 AM

I love spending time with my boyfriend's family, only I don't know if they feel the same! I am pretty talkative, however, they are not. I always feel like I am annoying them by talking so much, but I would rather it be that way that sit in silence and have awkwardness!!! Oh well, what can you do?

AchtungBaby80 · #6 12-21-2002, 11:54 AM

I'll pretty much agree with what everyone else says--it's really hard to have a relationship with someone when you really can't stand their family. Many moons ago, I had the same problem...it's especially dicey if his mum is a redneck and his dad acts like he's 45 going on 14...nothing against rednecks, but there's only so much you can take, especially if they all think you're a "prep."

Luckily, I love my boyfriend's family...they're crazy, but they remind me of my own family so that just makes me appreciate them more.

KillarneyRose · #7 12-21-2002, 08:22 PM

I can't stand my husband's family for many reasons large and small. I just deal with them whenever I have to.
I don't remember who said the guy would pick his family over his significant other every time, but I wholeheartedly disagree.

If it came down to my husband having to choose between them and me, he would choose me. If I didn't believe he would put me and our children first in his life, I never would have married him.

Rio_Kohitsuji · #8 12-21-2002, 08:35 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by KillarneyRose
I can't stand my husband's family for many reasons large and small. I just deal with them whenever I have to.
I don't remember who said the guy would pick his family over his significant other every time, but I wholeheartedly disagree.

If it came down to my husband having to choose between them and me, he would choose me. If I didn't believe he would put me and our children first in his life, I never would have married him.

I meant my statement about "he will choose if family everytime" if he's extremely close w/them and you choose to estrange yourself from them. Kind of like the, "Well, since they're not good enough for you..then I'm not" scenario

-Not- if his family is actually nuts and/or disrespectful to his SO.

Winterbloom · #9 12-21-2002, 11:03 PM

I have some difficulties with my young man's family. We're very different, and I've only been to New Jersey twice to see them. I'm rather reserved and formal around people's folks, and I suppose this is the heart of my issues. I just never quite know how to act. My young man asserts that they love me, and think I'm a quality lady, but all the same, I feel very ackward. I do love his grandmother, though, and we have the best time together, so it does go to prove I'm not doing everything wrong.

My family thinks he is a gem, and I'm inclined to agree. He's the son they never had, and with my father not being in top condition anymore--very difficult for a man who was a star athlete and a Merchant Marine for 25 yrs--my young man picks up some of the slack without making it obvious. I could not have done as well as I have this past year or so without him, and my folks know that.

Now, if only I could convince the Portuguese side he's as good as any boy they want to bring over from the Islands for me...

~Emma