Letters while partying - Double standard for guys/girls?

[kdonline]

I know this topic has been discussed on a few other threads, but I wanted to focus on more of an "equality" issue, rather than the actions themselves.

There are several threads about drinking with your letters on, or committing certain "unsavory" actions while representing your house.

I know times have changed by what is okay and what's not. I also find it interesting when guys comment, like on the drinking with letters...because I feel it doesn't apply to them.

I'm just wondering out loud...do fraternity members today realize that sorority members DO have such rules? We all know that a guy is proud to wear his letters when he's going out with the boys. But sorority members usually make a conscious effort to NOT wear their letters when they do the same.

So then, why do the guys put girls "on the spot" when it comes to socials & parties? I"m not knocking the drinking - the drinking age was 19 when I was in college (late 80s), & I certainly wasn't a wallflower. We had Hot Body contests back then too - remember, those hilarious Spring Break movies were all from our days.. You younguns didn't invent upside-down margaritas, beer bongs or even booty dancing. And SURPRISE! you weren't the first ones to have premarital sex!

But, what I mean is the situations - like the sucking on dildos or the pole-dancing. IMO, these are over the limits of good taste. Why do fraternity members push the sorority girls into doing these things?

Sure, I know there's no gun put to the participants' heads, but we all know what the peer pressure can be like.

So, how can we, as sorority members, say "don't drink or smoke with your letters on!" but then, climb up onstage and do a pole dance, with a thong hanging out of lowcut jeans? Just because it's in the "privacy" of a fraternity house? PULEEZE! We all know how "private" they can be..

There IS a double standard, so why do fraternity members push sorority members to the limit?

Yes, it's been years since I've been to a fraternity party...so please, enlighten this 30something woman who cares about the future of Greek life. I would like fraternities & sororities to be around in 20 or so years for my kids.

And let's do this without flames..

[33girl]

Originally posted by kdonline
So, how can we, as sorority members, say "don't drink or smoke with your letters on!" but then, climb up onstage and do a pole dance, with a thong hanging out of lowcut jeans? Just because it's in the "privacy" of a fraternity house? PULEEZE! We all know how "private" they can be..

Thank you, this is what I've been saying over and over again about the "no drinking in letters" idiocy. I went to a small school with a small Greek system...everyone knew I was an ASA whether I was in letters or not. We wore letter sweatshirts often at bars/parties because 1) it was a way to show pride in your org 2) the majority of students were on financial aid and didn't have walk-in closetsful of wardrobes to choose from 3) it was bleeping cold, and sweatshirts are easier to wash than sweaters.

If you think something is wrong, be it drinking, smoking, or wearing a penis as a hat, you shouldn't do it in OR out of your letters. To say "OMG! Don't smoke w/ letters on!" but to say it's OK to act like a hobag OUT of letters is just hypocrisy.

[HotDamnImAPhiMu]

OK, two things:

(1) It's not that drinking in letters is wrong. I'm 21, I drink occasionally, and there's nothing wrong with that legally or morally. I think sometimes orgs put limits on what activities you can participate in (when wearing letters) for the same reason you have to be wearing badge attire when you're wearing your pin -- because it just shows you have THAT much respect for your letters.

(2) Like 33girl was saying, we all know if you're an XYZ or not. Or at least that girl in the back knows, and she's telling that guy who's telling his girlfriend who's..... etc. Which is why some organizations (is this only in the South? anyone want to jump in?) put OTHER requirements on their letters. On my campus (in southern Virginia) 4 of the 5 sororities have rules about their members dancing on bars. NOT allowed. Period. In letters, out of letters. It's a hobag clause.

[Optimist Prime]

Originally posted by HotDamnImAPhiMu
OK, two things:

(1) It's not that drinking in letters is wrong. I'm 21, I drink occasionally, and there's nothing wrong with that legally or morally. I think sometimes orgs put limits on what activities you can participate in (when wearing letters) for the same reason you have to be wearing badge attire when you're wearing your pin -- because it just shows you have THAT much respect for your letters.

(2) Like 33girl was saying, we all know if you're an XYZ or not. Or at least that girl in the back knows, and she's telling that guy who's telling his girlfriend who's..... etc. Which is why some organizations (is this only in the South? anyone want to jump in?) put OTHER requirements on their letters. On my campus (in southern Virginia) 4 of the 5 sororities have rules about their members dancing on bars. NOT allowed. Period. In letters, out of letters. It's a hobag clause.

Thats cool, but I would asert that your campous is in Central Virginia. Dead middle!

[HotDamnImAPhiMu]

Point taken. (Richmond, for you onlookers.) Guess I just think of anything not "northern Virginia" as southern Virginia.

That's what you get for living in Fairfax County!

[Optimist Prime]

Word. Will IM you later.

[Blue Violet]

I think if you are going to have a rule about not drinking in letters-fine. If everyone knows about it and agrees to it-then enforce it. But make it all letters. One sorority on my campus is not allowed to drink in letters but can in a formal T-shirt? "Letters" is defined as BIG letters on a jersey or in your pin (Which is even harder to see in a dark bar than the XYZ Crush Party in neon on your t-shirt). A socia/rush/formal t-shirt doesn't count as letters. Now that is just stupid. Letters are letters are letters. But really, anyone not greek or who doesn't know you doesn't give a crap what you do in or out of letters. If you are acting like a lady-thats what they'll think. If you are acting like a ho-thats what they'll think. And anyone who does know your letters or is greek, knows you anyway so it doesn't matter if you have on letters or not. They're paid for. Might as well wear um! ***Side note: a couple of buddies of mine actually have a running joke in their frat that if you have on letters-you are required to be holding a beer. Kinda funny.

[Kevin]

We don't drink in letters, t-shirts or badges. Where's the double standard exactly?

[sororitygirl2]

Freshman year when we used to "dorm drink," my roommate and I thought it was hilarious to drink in our billboard letters in our room where no one would see us... we took tons of pictures of our "rebellion."

[ZetaLuvBunny]

Fraternity guys will likely know you are in a sorority b/c they remember your face from a Greek event, a mixer, a date/crush party, a formal, etc, or they even remember seeing you in your letters previously (like in class or something). Guys can spread rumors just as quickly as girls can about things they saw other people do (especially at parties).

We are representing our particular GLO in EVERYTHING we do, letters on or not. In class, on campus, at work, at parties, at clubs/bars, at a store, while driving our cars (think GLO-related stickers/tags), or any other place imagineable, we are representing our GLOs.

You never know who's watching. The person you flicked off at the intersection yesterday could be an alumnae of your organization, a professor you'll have next semester, or one of your fraternity bros'/sorority sisters' parents.

[MSSTCY1]

I have a question.... Is it okay to serve alcohol while wearing letters? There is a bar that I went to at another school which is basically a "greek only" bar and both bartenders were wearing letters. Is this common?

[kdonline]

Originally posted by ZetaLuvBunny
Fraternity guys will likely know you are in a sorority b/c they remember your face from a Greek event, a mixer, a date/crush party, a formal, etc, or they even remember seeing you in your letters previously (like in class or something). Guys can spread rumors just as quickly as girls can about things they saw other people do (especially at parties).

Yup! Guys love to gossip, just like girls. They also like to hide cameras...

We are representing our particular GLO in EVERYTHING we do, letters on or not. In class, on campus, at work, at parties, at clubs/bars, at a store, while driving our cars (think GLO-related stickers/tags), or any other place imagineable, we are representing our GLOs.

LOL - that's one reason why I haven't had anything sorority related on my car since I graduated. First, everyone in Miami is like "What is K- triangle?" and secondly...well, if you've ever driven in Miami, then you'd know how we drive! I wouldn't want to give my sorority a bad name because of my driving!

You never know who's watching. The person you flicked off at the intersection yesterday could be an alumnae of your organization, a professor you'll have next semester, or one of your fraternity bros'/sorority sisters' parents.

You never know who is reading your posts on GC too!

[kdonline]

Originally posted by MSSTCY1
I have a question.... Is it okay to serve alcohol while wearing letters? There is a bar that I went to at another school which is basically a "greek only" bar and both bartenders were wearing letters. Is this common?

It depends...

There again, is the double-standard.

I think it would be a problem for a sorority member to be wearing her letters while working as a bartender, but not for a fraternity member.

[HotDamnImAPhiMu]

You never know who's watching. The person you flicked off at the intersection yesterday could be an alumnae of your organization, a professor you'll have next semester, or one of your fraternity bros'/sorority sisters' parents.

ZetaLuvBunny, that TOTALLY cracked me up -- reminded me of like a year and a half ago when we'd just pinned 13 new members. I was driving through campus and honked at this new member -- you know, "Hey! Over here! Hi!" and she promply turned around, swore at me, and flipped me off.

I told a couple girls what had happened and let her sit a little scared for about a week, then pulled her aside and told her, "Look, I don't care what you were before, but you're representing Phi Mu now. Those aren't your letters. They belong to thousands of other women. Act like you deserve them."

Here you can't keep your letters if you can't figure out how to behave in them!

Most of this was just funny -- I mean, in the grand scheme of things her flipping me off & swearing was NOT a big deal. She and I get along great now and laugh about it sometimes.

At the same time, I saw her bawling out a new pledge last week for saying some pretty nasty stuff in her letters to a fraternity guy...

[UFKappaGrL]

That story about the girl flipping you off is a good one... I would have been scared if I were her! I am glad that you guys get along!