So You Think You're A Child of the 80's

[agger_rob]

Taken from CollegeHumor.com

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Observational Humor
"It's funny because it's true."
11/17/02 - When The Hogan Family Was Still Valerie
By Steve Hofstetter

There’s an e-mail that most of you have seen a hundred times that explains what it means to be a child of the 80s. And while it is clever and well-written (the original one, at least), it does not apply to anyone my age. See, we are not children of the 80s. We are children desperately trying to remember the 80s.

We look back on Voltron fondly, though we don’t recall it well enough to realize that it was just an animated version of the Power Rangers, created by the same entertainment company. We hold fast to the life lessons we learned from Punky Brewster even though we can’t really remember the plot of any episode. And we constantly quote Breakfast Club and Ferris Bueller and
Princess Bride despite not having been old enough to see any of them in the theatre and those movies having all come out in 1985 or later.

A child of the 80s needs to have lived through the entire decade, which anyone younger than 23 didn’t do. But since most of us don’t remember much before kindergarten, I’m going to up that age to 27 and say that anyone younger than that who associates themselves with growing up in the 80s is a big faker.

I don’t remember listening to Toto, other than seeing them recently on a commercial for hits of the 80s. Very few of my female friends owned leg warmers, and those that did got them as hand-me-downs from their older sisters. And though I watched Knight Rider and A-Team and Dukes of Hazzard, all were after they stopped making new episodes. Because when those shows aired originally, I was in bed before prime time.

Who shot J.R.? I have no idea, because I was two at the time. What was I doing during the fight for the Falkland Islands? Teething. And to me, Corbin Bernsen is not a vain lawyer from Los Angeles, rather Billy Dorn, a veteran third baseman with the Cleveland Indians. I first saw Major League in 1992. That’s right around when I grew up.

For someone my age (23, for those not keeping track) to claim that they grew up in the 80s is like a kid from Long Island saying he’s from New York City. Sure, he was raised close to New York City. His fondest childhood memories might have even happened in New York City. But the differences between the Long Island Railroad and the subway are almost as big as the differences
between Madonna and, well, Madonna.

I was technically born in the seventies, having a birthday in the last few months of 1979. But I still don’t pretend to know what was going on around me until 1986. That’s when my Mets won the World Series, and I was just old enough to understand that it was cool. But watching a few baseball games was all the pop culture I had.

Most current freshmen in college were born in 1984 (gasp!), making them six when the decade changed. And the 80s, pop-culturally, really stopped around 1988. 1989 was just a transitional year, featuring things like C&C Music Factory - not exactly Boy George. Think of a four-year-old that you know.
Are they watching movies and buying their own clothes and going to concerts and developing an acute sense of pop culture? No. They are playing on swings and coloring outside the lines and wearing whatever their parents give them and learning how to read, just like we were. And hopefully when they grow up, these kids will not pretend to be children of the nineties, having lived
there for just two years.

Yes, I loved Thundercats. I had a passion for the Back to the Future series. And I was a whiz with a snap bracelet. But this does not make me a child of the 80s. This makes me a child of the late 80s and early 90s.

I once met someone who told me they were from New York, and I asked them what part. They replied, “Greenwich.” They didn’t mean Greenwich Village – rather Greenwich, Connecticut which is “just a half hour outside the city.” But there’s no ignoring that it’s in a different state. Much like the state anyone my age was in when anything resembling the 80s actually happened.

Maybe it’s easy for me to criticize Connecticut Yankees who pretend they’re New York Yankees because I grew up in Queens. But if my story were different, I wouldn’t lie about where I was from – I’d be proud of my heritage, whatever it was. Even Jersey.

So cast off Family Ties in favor of Saved By the Bell. Forget Atari, we had Nintendo. And Rambo? Well, everyone had Rambo because they made way too many of those movies. But you get my point. We are not children of the 80s. And it’s about damn time we admitted it.

Right after I forward that e-mail, of course.

[amycat412]

FINALLY!

lol

I was born in (gasp) 1969 and am not a child of th 70s, as I can barely remember most of them.

I was 11 in 1980 and 20 in 1989, and consider myself and my peers to be children of the 80's. I was in grade school, junior high, high school and college in tthe 80's. My formative years were in the 80s.

I (embarrassed to admit) wore leg warmers. I danced to Olivia Newton John's "Let's get Physcal" in 7th Grade. Longed to have a song like "Jesse's Girl" be about me, LOL. I got my drivers license in 1985. Saw my first Depeche Mode concert in 1985.

The 70s? I was too young to really experience them.

[ZTAngel]

So true!

I was born in 1981 so when movies like Pretty in Pink and the Breakfast Club were popular, I was still in preschool. My mother never let me listen to Madonna until I was a little bit older! I still to this day have not seen Pretty in Pink and I didn't see Breakfast Club until I was 15. By then, it was 1996.
I can relate to what this person is saying when they say "I was a child of the late 80's/early 90's." I loved New Kids on the Block and Vanilla Ice (yes, I admit it, I use to think he was cool), Home Alone and the Mighty Ducks were cool, and our fifth grade class had backwards day where we'd wear our overalls backwards to emulate Kris Kross (it was a real bitch to try and go to the bathroom....).
So, what are your favorite late 80's/early 90's memories?

[AOIIalum]

Originally posted by ZTAngel
So, what are your favorite late 80's/early 90's memories?

I'm old I was born in 1965.

I got married in the late 80s and had two gorgeous babies by the end of the early 90s!

I remember a tiny bit of the late 60s, and most things from the 70s forward. I can remember my mom watching the Watergate stuff on TV. I can remember the opening montages of Love of Life, Search for Tomorrow, As The World Turns and Guiding Light. I remember Don Kirschner's Rock Concert, the Midnight Special and of course SNL. Hmmm, I was in college when Pretty in Pink came out, but still saw it about 25 times in the theatres (still love that film!) I used to watch ABC on Saturday mornings to see 3 hours of Bugs Bunny and the Schoolhouse Rock bits.

How's this for a complete circle? Oldest son has to learn the Preamble for Social Studies this week. How's he learning it? My Schoolhouse Rock DVD, of course. I love modern technology!

Christin

[kdonline]

If you look up "80's chick" in the dictionary, you'd probably see a picture of me. High school class of 1985, College 1989.

I had big hair. Okay, it wasn't as big as some of the other girls, but it was big.

My college scrapbooks are embarrassingly 80s-esque. I mean, we all had BIG HAIR. Heh - if you want ideas on how to dress for an 80's social, let me know!

BTW, I saw all those great 80s movies on their opening nights in the theater. I still watch them every time they're on TV. They truly are the NEW classics!

[AOIIalum]

Originally posted by kdonline
My college scrapbooks are embarrassingly 80s-esque. I mean, we all had BIG HAIR. Heh - if you want ideas on how to dress for an 80's social, let me know!

I cringe when I look back at my composites, as they're from 1984-1988. Talk about some interesting hair! Mine wasn't that bad, but it was 80s, as was the makeup, yikes! Here's what I looked like, way back then http://www.geocities.com/trickbabe/chris86aoii.jpg

They say everything comes back into style, so I wonder how long long we have to wait to have retro-80s big hair back in style? Be afraid, ya'll, be afraid

Christin

[OUlioness01]

Originally posted by ZTAngel

So, what are your favorite late 80's/early 90's memories?

Honestly, one of my fav memories from that time period when I was in kindergarten (gasp!) in 1988-89 and the Bengals went to the superbowl (i think they won too, which is really wierd to think about). that year i knew and danced the Icky Shuffle (for those who don't know, that is a dance that former Bengal Icky Woods, who was only famous for about a year, used to do). I also remember Jem, Alvin and the Chipmunks (with Brittany and the Chipettes), David the Gnome, and original episodes of the Mickey Mouse Club (aka MMC) quite fondly.

Oh, and I can't forget seeing two members of 98 Degrees in Pinocchio when I was in first or second grade and they were in high school.

[Kevin]

This article speaks to me... I was born in '79 like the auther... However, I disagree with him. I think that between the age of 0 and 10 I did quite a bit of growing-up. My memory's pretty good past age 4 or 5. I remember the 80's quite vividly. It's not the *same* 80's as someone who was 10 years older would remember but it was still the 80's and it's just as valid.

[KillarneyRose]

I still qualify!!! lol

Steve's writing, as always, is inspired, insightful and right on the mark.

[snuggles12]

I was born in 1970. So I consider myself a child of the 70's because I remembered when 8 tracks were in, the 76 bicentinenal year, the long gas lines, inflation of the 70's, the hostage crisis, disco music, and films like Heaven Can Wait and Grease.

I was a teenager back in the 80's and I own several pairs of leg warmers and wore them with skirts and pants. I had the hand held version of Atari games and always wanted a Commodore 64. I even remembered when we first got cable back in 1979 and the only premium channels we had were Prism and HBO. I remembered when my area got MTV and the original VJ's.
Also, the Friday the 13th, Freddy and Jason were late 1970's and 80's.

I had big Oprah hair back in the 80's but I always wanted an asymetrical hair cut but was too chicken to get it.

I considered the 80's my decade because I can remember more about the 80's than the 70's.

[kdonline]

Originally posted by snuggles12


I had big Oprah hair back in the 80's but I always wanted an asymetrical hair cut but was too chicken to get it.

Ack! I had an asymmetrical cut. I almost screamed when the stylist brought out an electric razor to cut the one side... I figured since my hair grew fast, & would be in by the time I went home for Thanksgiving, I let her do it.

[cuaphi]

I see what the author is saying because I've often wondered about this. I was born in 1976. I turned 4 in the middle of 1980 and 14 in 1990 and therefore consider myself a true 'child' of the 80's and young adult of the 90's. I saw Sixteen Candles in the 80's but only because it was on HBO and my babysitter let me stay up late that night.
I wondered about this because my brother was born in late 1980. All of his memories of t.v. shows and toys are roughly equivilant to mine and I'm sure he reads those forwarded e-mails and relates to a lot of it. However, if you were 10 when a decade ended, were you really a part of it?

[SoCalGirl]

I turn 25 today and consider myself 100% a child of the 80s. I turned three in 1980, and yes I remember being three-years-old. It's the best age hands down.

I remember begging Mom to let me stay up a watch Fantasy Island. I remember fondly watching Knight Rider. I jammed to Jem and the Holograms. I idolized Tiffany. I owned 2 pairs of leg warmers in different shades of pink. I had a florescent pink sweatshirt that was huge and worn over leggings. Though I never perfected the perfectly arched claw bangs I am to this day pretty much a Valley Girl.

I may have been to young to see all the 80s teen movies in the theaters, but I watched them on cable and BETA!

[Cluey]

I think it totally depends on the person as to whether they identify themselves as a child of the eighties or not. Personally, I do, even though I just turned 24. I had an older sister and an older cousin who I deperately tried to keep up with. I remember a lot of things that other people my age didn't even know about.

My sister was in love with WHAM! and Rick Springfield.

I loved Bruce Springsteen! I almost talked one of my mom's friends into taking me to his concert for my 6th birthday.

I remember watching Mary Lou Retton win the 1984 gymnastics gold medal and wanting to be just like her.

I remember watching Herschel Walker win his Heisman Trophy.

I remember Slip and Slides, before they were considered dangerous.

I did own legwarmers and I wore them to every dance class, where all of the other girls were so envious.

I owned several pairs of jelly shoes, I admit it.

I grew up watching He-Man and always wanted there to be a girl version of him. When they came up with She-ra I was in heaven!

I could go on for a while, but you get my point. I think it isn't necessarily about age, but with which decade you associate yourself.

[Nikki_DZ]

Honestly, one of my fav memories from that time period when I was in kindergarten (gasp!) in 1988-89 and the Bengals went to the superbowl (i think they won too, which is really wierd to think about). that year i knew and danced the Icky Shuffle (for those who don't know, that is a dance that former Bengal Icky Woods, who was only famous for about a year, used to do).

OULioness-Ickey Shuffle!!! I had the sweatshirt BTW, he's now a door to door salesman for JTM. He came to my door once and I about died.

And the Bengals didn't win, unfortunately. They were beat by the 49ers in both Super Bowls they played in.