Playing Hard to Get- A question for the guys and the girls!

bucutie02 · #1 10-10-2001, 04:40 PM

Guys: Okay so do you think its attractive for a girl to play hard to get, or is it just plain annoying. I find it, that unfortunately, i do this too often. I dont think its a good thing, because its kind of like the guy gives up after a certain time. I kind of do it without realizing it until after-the-fact.

Girls: Do any of you play hard to get, and if so- did it help or not?

damasa · #2 10-10-2001, 04:53 PM

I don't seem to mind girls that play hard-to-get for a short time, but after a while it gets frustrating and very annoying. A lot of guys will just throw in the towel, because I mean face it, there is only so much that we think we can do to please a girl, and when she is playing hard-to-get, she doesn't let on much...sometimes it is looked at as one of those, "she's not interested in me" things.

Just my thoughts....it's fun for a while, but only a short while.

d

IowaHawkeye · #3 10-10-2001, 07:07 PM

I don't like sending mixed signals out to a guy because lets face it, i don't like to get them back from him. there's a fine line in my book between playing hard to get and playing someone ~ i find that taking things as they come and having fun joking around with the guy works better, but that's just me!

bucutie02 · #4 10-10-2001, 10:59 PM

Dont get me wrong, i also believe in there being a fine line between playing hard to get and just playing some one. I dont ever play anyone. What i need to do is just have more guts to talk to guys that are interested in me or vice versa. I can be shy when i first meet a cute guy- so i should start there

Kevlar281 · #5 10-10-2001, 11:52 PM

For the first two weeks of the fall semester I always walked with this girl after class. I was on my way to another class but she was just going to her car. Anyways one day im in front of the rush at the door and hold up a bit so I can walk with her, she comes out looking all annoyed and walks the opposite direction (doesn’t even say a word) then what we usually take. So three weeks pass and the other day im walking by myself and I here someone calling my name. I turn around and there she is. She gives me this huge lecture about how im not talking to her anymore blah blah blah. Its ridiculous, if your going to play hard to get fine but don’t blame it on the guy if he’s not playing your game. I mean hard to get is one thing but being mean is another.

James · #6 10-10-2001, 11:57 PM

I have met very few girls that know how to play hard to get properly. In fact scratch that: I have never met any girl that played it properly. Usually (this is no reference to anyone here) girls that play hard to get usually are unable to send proper signals (shy or whatever) and aren't the types to actually just flat out go after what they want . . and they usually get upset when the boy didn't read their minds and ask them out anyway. . .

Real hard to get is making sure the boy knows you are interested and sending the clear message that he is going to have to spend some major time and material assets to get you.

KSigkid · #7 10-11-2001, 12:11 AM

I don't like girls who are going to play games with me, and hard to get is one of those games. I like girls who are going to be honest and straightforward with me - I know it can be tough, and if a girl is shy, or nervous, that's fine - I have no problem with that, in fact I think it's really cute and awsome if a girl's a little shy about that stuff. But if the girl is intentionally playing hard to get or other games - I'm not really down with all of that. Tell me how you feel, or at least be honest with me and yourself, and it'll be fine.

Optimist Prime · #8 10-11-2001, 12:21 AM

actully, i'd have to say, it pisses me off to no end.

SparkliiQTMTSU · #9 10-11-2001, 12:31 AM

I have played hard to get sometimes. It's not for the fun of it but it helps me figure out if the guy really is into me or not. If they continue to pursue me then I know that they truly like me. I have been hurt alot in the past and playing hard to get sometimes actually helps me figure out the guy's true feelings!

Thrillhouse · #10 10-11-2001, 07:11 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Optimist Prime
actully, i'd have to say, it pisses me off to no end.

Exactly. That is when I just give up right away and move on even though it has backfired a few times in the past.

Jeff OTMG · #11 10-11-2001, 10:05 AM

PLAYING hard to get is just that, pretend. If you are really interested in someone and act uninterested it is a lie. Not a good way to begin a realtionship. Honesty is best. You will find some guys, girls too, who may only be interested in what they feel that they can't have, if you run into this and the guy loses interest then you are better off anyway. Who wants a player who only goes after a girl for the challenge?

veruca76 · #12 10-11-2001, 11:57 AM

I agree with James on this one. Most of the time we don't play it right. You think you're being coy and difficult and he just gets annoyed that he can't read your mind. It's actually following that evil book "The Rules." However if you read the whole thing you find out that they are really recommending that you be easy to be around but difficult to get a hold of.
I try not to play games but one thing that's really important is to take it easy in the very beginning. It seems like if you come on too strong and call him, try to pin him down, be his official girlfriend from the word go he'll run as fast as he can. You kind of have to hang back and just take each day as it comes and go into each encounter expecting nothing more than a good time. Common sense for most of us but I have some friends (one in particular) who starts talking long term after she's been seeing some guy for a week!

DeltaBetaBaby · #13 10-11-2001, 01:36 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Jeff OTMG
PLAYING hard to get is just that, pretend. If you are really interested in someone and act uninterested it is a lie. Not a good way to begin a realtionship. Honesty is best. You will find some guys, girls too, who may only be interested in what they feel that they can't have, if you run into this and the guy loses interest then you are better off anyway. Who wants a player who only goes after a girl for the challenge?

On a similar note, you should actually BE hard to get. If you fill your life with what makes you happy, friends, activities, etc., you will only give those things up if a guy proves that he is worth your time. You shouldn't be lying to him or not returning calls, but if you happen to be busy, more power to you. It sure beats sitting around waiting for him.

bucutie02 · #14 10-11-2001, 01:53 PM

I dont want you guys to get the wrong impression of me, i am not a player. I think that when i do sometimes play hard to get its more because im shy than anything else. If a guy is interested in me and im interested in him- then he will know it trust me! On that same note, i also let a guy that is interested in me know if i dont feel the same way. Sometimes, however, its hard for the guy to completely know it because like i said before, i can be very shy. With that being said, i wouldnt flirt with a guy or lead him on if i was uninterested- i think thats wrong, and besides, i dont have enough guts!

I am actually a sweet person, and i dont like to hurt people!

ZTAngel · #15 10-11-2001, 02:02 PM

I think that playing hard-to-get is necessary to some extent. When you meet someone new, the immediate attraction comes from that air of mystery. Don't let that air of mystery escape too soon! Don't go overboard where you flirt with other guys in front of him. When I first started to date my boyfriend, I would come home get a message that he called. I would wait a few hours to call back. And I wouldn't tell him where I was. Play up on their insecurities a bit. It definitely works when you play hard-to-get a little just don't go overboard with it or else you might drive him away.