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Alchohol will cure sickness
I have concluded which type of alchohol will make you better if you're sick....
This past weekend I was sick. Friday I decided to cure myself, drink the bacteria to death. First I tried a bottle of red wine on friday night. It didn't work, on saturday I was worse.
On saturday I felt like complete $hit. Being the spontaneous person I am, I decided to make a trip to Orlando. A few DeeGees I know at UCF convinced me to come over, they said they'll help me get better. So I go there and on my way I call up some of my boys, they've already graduated from college. I told them I was on my way and that I was staying with a few DGs there. They ended up convincing me to stay with them. I told them I was sick and they said they have just what I need. By the time I got in town they already bought 2 big bottles of 100 proof Vodka, Smirnoff to be exact. After a 4 shots and two mixed drinks of Gatorade and Vodka, I felt pretty good. After getting good and juiced I called my chick friends and told them where I was, we decided to meet in downtown at Slingapores.
We met downtown and as soon as we connected they bought me the same thing......100 Proof Vodka shots.......
As I entered the club I had an urge to hit on chicks, I was feeling loose as a goose and ready to get the party started. After I took the shots the girls gave me, I was done......I quit looking for a$$...
I woulda been a lush for the rest of the night night if it wasn't for a KD I met in slingapores.........She had that UF/UCF DeeGee look to her, I went on my impaired thoughts and started talking to her ( I have excellent luck with ladies from a certain sorority in this state ). I asked if she was a DG and she gave me this horrible look ( I'm glad I didn't tell her who I came down to see ) and she said she was in KD. My eyes lit up like a child staring at a lollipop as the challenge arose , I suddenly felt much better. I said to her with a cheesy Vodka grin, " Well, that might be the best thing I've heard all day, let's go have a shot". She obliged. We talked over several rounds of Car Bombs and things loosened up. I soon found out her last 2 boyfriends were Pikes at UCF, I thought to myself......"heh,heh,heh"......then I found out she wasn't dating anyone, now I was thinking " Oh yea.....I'm in....". As we were exchanging phone numbers and trying to figure out how we were going to get home, my DG friends must have seen me from a distance and started yelling for me......At first the chick didn't hear or see them. Then, being the loud girls they are, they put their voices together and all three shouted my name....This time the chick noticed it. She was like, " I think those girls are calling you". I said "Nahh, they just have me mixed up for someone else." Then my friends came towards me, walking really fast. By the time they came up to me, the girl I was with realized who they were......She gave me this god awefull look and walked off, she told me " Don't bother calling me." The girls thought it was funny but my boys were as pissed as I, they've heard good things about the KD chapter at UCF. So, I ended up going back to the apartment, with no a$$. The night would have ultimately been a let down if it wasn't for the next morning. The next morning I felt like a million bucks. From sunday on I've felt fine and everyone says it's from drinking the 100 proof Vodka, something about the alchohol killing bacteria.
If any of you are sick, I suggest you the 100 proof vodka. It truly works.
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