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12-16-2005, 02:44 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: Mile High America
Posts: 17,088
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International Rules of Manhood...
1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.
2: It is ok for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
a. When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
b. The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
c. After wrecking your boss' car.
d. One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".
e. When she is using her teeth.
3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.
4: Unless he murdered someone in your family, you must bail a friend out of jail within 12 hours.
5: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.
6: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is
forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.
7: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional.
8: On a road trip, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
9: When stumbling upon other guys watching a sporting event, you may ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's playing.
10: You may flatulate in front of a woman only after you have brought her to climax.
11: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.
12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
14: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.
15: If a man's fly! is down , that's his problem, you didn't see
anything.
16: Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
17: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must remain sober enough to fight.
18: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of
pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.
19: If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.
20: Never join your girlfriend or wife in discussing a friend of yours, except if she's withholding sex pending your response.
22: Never talk to a man in a bathroom unless you are on equal footing:
i.e. Both urinating, both waiting in line, etc. For all other situations, an almost imperceptible nod is all the conversation you need.
24: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly "just a friend" have carnal drunken sex, the fact that you're feeling weird and guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion about what a big mistake it was occurs.
26: Thou shall not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, lime green, orange or sky blue.
27: The girl who replies to the question "What do you want for
Christmas?" with "If you loved me, you'd know what I want!" gets an Xbox.
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DeltAlum
DTD
The above is the opinion of the poster which may or may not be based in known facts and does not necessarily reflect the views of Delta Tau Delta or Greek Chat -- but it might.
Last edited by DeltAlum; 12-16-2005 at 02:47 PM.
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12-16-2005, 04:43 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 160
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I really like number 27!!! That's hilarious!!!
but they are all pretty funny
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12-16-2005, 04:50 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: I live on your screen
Posts: 1,856
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hahaha...3 is funny!!
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12-16-2005, 04:57 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Jun 2005
Location: SDSU, mecca of the "life of plastic"
Posts: 487
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I'm sorry, I don't care if there's a gun to my temple and a knife to my throat, I will NEVER, EVER kick a guy in the nuts to get out of a situation.....
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12-16-2005, 05:17 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Sep 1999
Location: NY
Posts: 8,594
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In that same situation I would tear his nuts off and shove them down his throat . . but hey, thats just me.
Quote:
Originally posted by TristanDSP
I'm sorry, I don't care if there's a gun to my temple and a knife to my throat, I will NEVER, EVER kick a guy in the nuts to get out of a situation.....
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12-16-2005, 10:51 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Calgary, Alberta - Canada
Posts: 3,190
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Re: International Rules of Manhood...
Quote:
Originally posted by DeltAlum
3: Any Man who brings a camera to a bachelor party may be legally killed and eaten by his buddies.
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Beaten with in an inch of his life for sheer studity yes... if it's for some sort of gain or spying, well let the feast begin.
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Λ Χ Α
University of Toronto Alum
EE755
"Cave ab homine unius libri"
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12-17-2005, 01:21 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Naptown
Posts: 6,608
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12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
Is this really as bad as its made out to be? Like worse than being punched in the gut or something?
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"I just don't want people to go around thinking I'm the kind of person who doesn't believe in God or voted for Kerry." - Honeychile
Hail to Pitt!
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12-17-2005, 01:27 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Georgia Bulldog Country
Posts: 7,632
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Quote:
Originally posted by KillarneyRose
12: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed to kick another guy in the nuts.
Is this really as bad as its made out to be? Like worse than being punched in the gut or something?
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That is like saying is giving child birth any worse than taking a crap.
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12-17-2005, 02:38 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Jun 2000
Location: Mile High America
Posts: 17,088
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Quote:
Originally posted by KillarneyRose
[B]Is this really as bad as its made out to be? Like worse than being punched in the gut or something?
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In a word,
YES!
__________________
Fraternally,
DeltAlum
DTD
The above is the opinion of the poster which may or may not be based in known facts and does not necessarily reflect the views of Delta Tau Delta or Greek Chat -- but it might.
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12-17-2005, 05:06 PM
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GreekChat Member
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Join Date: Mar 2000
Location: Kansas City, Kansas USA
Posts: 23,584
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In the words of a Clint Eastwood Spigett Western, covers The Good, The Bad, and The ugly!
Some are very OUCHy!
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LX Z # 1
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