New Educational Act to be implemented

[CrimsonTide4]

YOU MIGHT BE A TEACHER IF..

1. You believe the playground should be equipped with
a Ritalin salt lick.

2. You want to slap the next person who says, "Must be
nice to work 8 to 3:20 and have summers free."

3. You can tell if it's a full moon without ever looking outside.

4. You believe "shallow gene pool" should have its own
box in the report card.

5. You believe that unspeakable evils will befall you
if anyone says "Boy, the kids sure are mellow today."

6. When out in public you feel the urge to snap your
fingers at children you do not know and correct their
behavior.

7. You have no social life between August and June.

8. Marking all A's on report cards would make your
life SO much easier.

9. You think people should be required to get a
government permit before being allowed to reproduce.

10. You wonder how some parents ever MANAGED to
reproduce.

11. You laugh uncontrollably when people refer to the
staff room as the "lounge".

12. You encourage an obnoxious parent to check into
charter schools or home schooling.

13. You can't have children because there's no name
you could give a child that wouldn't bring on high blood
pressure the moment you heard it uttered.

14. You think caffeine should be available in intravenous form.

15. You know you are in for a major project when a parent says, "I have a great idea I'd like to discuss. I think it would be fun."

6. Meeting a child's parent instantly answers the question, "Why is this kid like this?



I am trying to think of other tell-tale signs from my former life.

[NOWorNEVER]

You have a festive sweater with matching earrings for every single holiday.

[brickhouse492]

You might be a teacher if you came in with a smile day after day, even after feeling underappreciated.

[CrimsonTide4]

Originally posted by NOWorNEVER
You have a festive sweater with matching earrings for every single holiday.

That is mainly either an elementary school teacher or non-Black teachers because THIS woman never did that.


Oh and Brickhouse, YOU AIN'T NEVAAAAAAAAAAAA LIED!!!

[RedefinedDiva]

* You can tell, down to the second, exactly how much longer you have to be in school before summer vacation

* You want to have your tubes tied, clipped, burned, stapled, and/or removed because you really think that you hate children

* You wonder how some children ever made it out of kindergarten

* You give ALL kids the evil eye when you see them acting a fool

* You don't need March winds, April shower, and May flowers to let you know that it's Spring

* Weekends, holidays, and summers off used to be wonderful, but sometimes it doesn't even seem worth it

* You have tons of stories about kids that aren't your own

* You damn near kill people on the highway on weekdays around 3 pm because you are zooming as fast as you can to get away from the school

* You think that some people should be castrated so that they aren't allowed to have any more kids

*You think that the government should have some sort of screening process and issue permits BEFORE some people can have kids.

* You have a higher, greater, deeper respect for all of YOUR teachers because when you were in their class, you SWORE their job was too easy

[miss priss]

[B]You damn near kill people on the highway on weekdays around 3 pm because you are zooming as fast as you can to get away from the school

RD you know you ain't lyin.

ok peep this....

* If you take a day off just because the kids wore you out the day before...

*Another mama tells you "my kid ain't special ed"

*If you hear the word "__" test again
(ya know, those state test we love sooo much )

*You are rushing to do those lesson plans you waited two weeks to do because you had too much paperwork,staff meeting, etc. earlier

*You just wanna hit a kid with the belt, something you know the mama is NOT doing

*Another curse word from a kid who can't write the word correctly or even spell for that matter

*Another staff meeting on the problems you talked about last time that you thought you settled last time

* You keep a BIG bottle of Excedrin in your drawer and you become the staff physician.....

[CrimsonTide4]

You can read ANYONE's handwriting, no matter how bad they claim it to be.

[AKA2D '91]

Originally posted by brickhouse492
You might be a teacher if you pay mucho $$$$$ completing 4+ years of college to be underpaid.
- God bless 'em

If you think about it, we are not underpaid. We ONLY work 180 days out of the year. We have PAID holidays (Labor Day, Thanksgiving (an ENTIRE week), Christmas, Spring Break (maybe Mardi Gras ). THEN 10 sick days that carry over to the next year. (If I had perfect attendance for the 7 years I've worked, I WOULD have 70 days available.) Shucks, that means I could almost take an entire semester off without affecting my check.

So, basically, we get paid for the time we put in. Do the math. LOL

Oh, I forgot, if you want the option, you get paid during the ENTIRE summer break.

Those non-teachers cannot boast that. Check me out June 3, 2003, at 10:30 AM You couldn't pay me $1million dollars to go to ANYONE'S job from June 4, 2003 to August 15, 2003.

God bless the non-teachers!


I guess I MIGHTbe a teacher!

[brickhouse492]

Wow! I never looked at it like that. That sounds great. My mom is a teacher. She always highlighted the shorter work day and paid summer vacation. She also stressed how under paid she was considering her qualifications.

Well, this is a shout out to you and all the other teachers on GC that have dedicated their careers to our youth.

[RedefinedDiva]

* You now need a glass of wine after work...

* You want to push the principal down a fight of stairs (maybe it's just me )

* You need to buy stock in Aleve, Tylenol, and all other headache medicines

* You look in your purse and always have a surplus of red ink pens


2D, you know that you are right, girl!! I won't be working, but I will be in school. It doesn't matter because it is only mini-session classes. It still doesn't matter. I won't be working. Can you imagine the look that I gave our in-school union rep when she asked if I wanted a summer school application. DO YOU REALLY WANT ME TO ANSWER THAT? I am going to chill like a villian this summer because this school year has been HELLISH!

[Eclipse]

Originally posted by AKA2D '91
If you think about it, we are not underpaid. We ONLY work 180 days out of the year. We have PAID holidays (Labor Day, Thanksgiving (an ENTIRE week), Christmas, Spring Break (maybe Mardi Gras ). THEN 10 sick days that carry over to the next year. (If I had perfect attendance for the 7 years I've worked, I WOULD have 70 days available.) Shucks, that means I could almost take an entire semester off without affecting my check.

So, basically, we get paid for the time we put in. Do the math. LOL

Oh, I forgot, if you want the option, you get paid during the ENTIRE summer break.

Thank you for admitting that! I know teachers have a hard, thankless job, but like I told one of my friends, if you wanna make what I make, work the hours/days that I work, other wise, shut up and enjoy all that vacation time! And don't give me that mess about grading papers, etc. I can't tell you how many times I take work home too! Exhale!!

From the daughter of 2 teachers:
You might be a teacher if...

You say "Hi sweetie, how have you been?" to every child that smiles at you in a public place because you realize they are probably a former student and you just don't remember their names!

You could win half of those little contests on "Let's Make a Deal" with the contents of your purse (toy guns, cars, dolls, gum, etc. that you took from a student, glue, scissors, construction paper, pipe cleaners, etc. could be found in my mother's purse on a regular basis.)

(this is for the old school teachers) All of your clothing has chalk on it

You dread the first day of school because you are going to have to learn 20 new names that only have about 6 vowels between them.

You have enough "I love Teaching", "World's Greatest Teacher" etc. mugs, earrings, potholders, pens, etc. to stock a chain of Dollar Stores.

You call other adults by their last name (does anyone else do this? My mother and her teacher friends never call each other by their first names because they don't want to "slip" in front of the kids)

[CrimsonTide4]

Originally posted by Eclipse
You have enough "I love Teaching", "World's Greatest Teacher" etc. mugs, earrings, potholders, pens, etc. to stock a chain of Dollar Stores.

Yes indeedy and don't forget magnets as well.

Although I am rather partial to my Delta Teacher shirt:

2 Teach
+2 Change Lives
-----------------------
4ever

[abaici]

#2 I don't care about the math. I do know the next person who says this will get Pimp slapped

#5

#6 in the mall, at church, everywhere

#13 I wanted to name my future son Micah. But I had the worst student by that name. I don't want to curse my offspring.

[CrimsonTide4]

CAN ANYBODY IN EDUCATION RELATE TO THIS?

Now here is something that I found to be true:


PRESS RELEASE

Reacting to Federal guidelines, the state of Texas which has been highlighted as a role model for student testing by the Bush Administration's Dept. Of Education has redesigned and just released a new comprehensive test to be given to all students in the spring of the 2003-2004 school year.

In response to President Bush's Federal No Child Left Behind Act, students will have to pass it to be promoted to the next grade level in the hopes that it will be uniformly adopted by all the states, thus illuminating Texas to a glorious front runner position in education, it will be called the Federal Arithmetic and Reading Test (FART).

All students who cannot pass a FART in the second grade will be retested in grades 3, 4, and 5 until such time as they are capable of achieving a FART score of 80%. If a student does not successfully FART by the fifth grade, that student shall be placed in a separate English program called the Special Mastery Elective for Learning Language (SMELL).

If with this increased SMELL program the student cannot pass the required FART, he or she can graduate to middle school by taking a one semester course in Comprehensive Reading and Arithmetic Preparation (CRAP).

If by age fourteen the student cannot FART, SMELLL, or CRAP; he will earn his promotion in an intensive one week seminar known as the Preparatory Reading for Unprepared Nationally Exempted Students (PRUNES).

It is the opinion of the Texas Department of Public Instruction (DPI) that an intensive week of PRUNES will enable any student to FART, SMELL, or CRAP.

This revised provision of the student testing component of House Bill 110 should help clear the air.

THIS IS PART OF THE NO SCHOOL LEFT STANDING ACT

[btb87]

And the best name for the academic testing that the state of Florida could come up with was FCAT! Maybe we should follow Texas' lead!