Warning: If you don't like my posts or are EASILY offended by them, stop here and exit this thread. Otherwise, keep reading.
This past weekend I went to Fantasy Fest, in Key West. I saw USFstudent went as well. I figuered I'd share this story with you guys since we were on the topic of drugs last week, as well as sexual advice being given out lately.
On one of our night there we went all out in dressing up. Everyone down there dresses up for this event. Some of you conservative people might consider this a freaks get together, otherwise known as "The big Orgy".
Since we've recently obtained much hotter bodies from our weightlifting addictions, my buddies and I decided to dress up as gothic Kens, barbies play doll boyfriend. You could have called us gothic chip-n-dales as well. At the time we totally were'nt thinking about all the fags in key west while choosing our costumes, that comes into play later......
So on friday we get 3 bottles of grey goose orange and begin drinking around 2:00pm....heavily. We meet these chicks that live near our house. I, being the person who intiates everything, strike up talk with them....."yea my parents have a get away house down the block.....come take some shots with us....yadda yadda yadda" So they come......amazingly the number of chicks and number of guys were the same.....there was no dead weight. We get to our place I break out the PIKE shot glasses. The girls, being greek themsleves and not telling us, said...."These belong to PIKES?" I said yea....we're pikes from UF.... then they told us they were all ZTA's at UM (Miami). So i thought..."hmmm... I might have the chance to nail me a ZTA from Univ of Miami....what a story that would be for ZTAMiami." I then singled the silicon blond I wanted....they all looked the same.....
So we go to duval street and chill at a few bars after finishing but 1 bottle of the grey goose...that was for right as we go out. Around 7
opm I started getting annoyed with the chicks, as did my comrades....they started getting all stupid acting....i began to wonder if one of my boys accidently put G in one
the blenders thinking it was the vodka. Fortuantely he didn't and they were just retarded off their asses.
Finally i slammed 3 more shots real fast and got the nerve to tell them to walk home themselves and we'll come get them later for the night. I don't know if it was the fact that they were $hitty or if they just didn't realize what I said...but they all got our cell numbers and made us promise to come get them later.
We did.
We get back to our house and everyone runs to kitchen to slam some food. Then we start showering and finally we put on our outfits. By this time we were completely slammed and all of us were trying our best to iron our black speedos. I didn't shave earlier so I butchered my legs and a$$ while attempting to shave them. I didn't realize how bad chicks have it when they have to shave all that $hit. So, with pieces of toilet paper stuck to my legs and a$$ to dry up the nick marks, i put on my black speedo and black bowtie. Then we each started to put the gothic make up on each other. ( I can't stand that $hit called base!!!)
After finishing our cosutmes, we decide it's time to slam more shots.....So we put on some DJ Tiesto and some DMX .....each in diffrent rooms.... and begin the night.....
After about 45 minutes we finished the vodka.....we're all slammed and one of my boys is already making his drunk cell phone calls, while another is wanting to watch Snoop Dogs porn. I decided things were about to nasty if we didn't leave immediately. So i called up the chicks and told them we're coming over. As we were about to leave one of my boys asked if he should bring some boosters with him......not knowing what they were and being blown out of my mind, I said yes....BIG mistake....
While walking to the chicks house my boy asks us if we want some boosters....I asked "what'd they do to you? " he said it just makes you more drunk....just like zanex. So like an idiot I made him give me 4 of them.
As we walk I notice all these men looking at us.....hollering and $hit....within the first few hollas i realized how gay we looked. My friends were so wasted they thought it was the girls down from us they were yelling at. I knew better.
After getting to the girls house and picking them up I noticed i didn't feel liek I was more wasted. For some reason I keep thinking about getting laid. I couldn't stop thinking about pu$$y. I was already drunk to stupidity and already did stupid things like runnning into doors quite frequently. The combonation of stupidity and wanting some booty, it was not good for me.
So we make our way to duval street....the girls are dressed up as little hoes and we, chip-n-dales boys. We go into a few bars and then into a club.....by now I'm really thinking about a$$ and finally I couldn't take it anymore.....I told my chick to come dance with me....being as drunk as she was...she obliged. While dancing she started getting freak nasty with me, rubbing her booty all over my package......about 30 seconds of that stuff and thats all it took for me to be "aroused". For some reason I didn't feel messed up as i should have been and instead my package felt liek it was about to blow up. So I push the chick off of me and see this huge boner I had, while wearing a speedo!!!!!! It was coming out of my pants.....so I grabbed the chick and told her to stand in front of me, but not to be nasty. I told her we had a problem. It instantly sobered me up. She thought it was funny and said it's not a problem.
So I find my friend and asked him what in the hell did he give me....he said boosters.....and I told him to empty his pockets and let me see... As he did, he pulled these blue pills out of his pocket and began laughing.....I asked what was so damn funny and he he said he mistakenly grabbed the VIAGRA!!!!!!!! he said I took three time the normal dosage of what docotors tell impotent men to take. By now I was steaming and didn't know what to do......in a fit of rage i ran to the bar.....forgetting my "cover" girl......I yell at the bartender....give me 5 shots of Liquid cocaine!!! he looked at me and said......" are you happy to see me?" UHHHH!!!!!! I was soooo pissed!!! I paid for my shots and grabbed the girl and left....
As we were trying to make our way out of duval street i noticed some bannana trees 20 yrds away from me......I bought a ballon and popped it.....then i snatched the bannana tree leaves and put it around me like I was tarazan.......at the time it seemed ok.....it was a plan i came up with while intoxicated. emily held the leaves on me as i tied the string from the balloon around my waste. Emily started laughing the whole time....I know in the back of her mind she was thinking...."I'm going to have fun tonight".......
As we were walking away....and passing some of the nortorius gay bars......my karama must have been coming back to me....my leaves fell off and the boner stuck out like a sore thumb......Instantly I reacted...I acted like i was falling down on the curb...as if I hurt my ankle......The chick just collected my leaves and began to put them back on......suddenly there came a group of gay men and they all stopped to get some pizza from the pizza man....right in front of me.....Emily advised me it would be best to hurry up and get home....
As i stood up i had this awefull fear that my leaves would fall down again and i would accidently poke one of the guys in front of us. Luckily they didn't. So we get to walking away and our group finds us. By now I'm the subject that everyone is laughing about.....
Suddenly I had another crazy revalation from above and realized I only needed something to counteract the Viagra....something that is known to make guys go limp......so i asked my friend what he had that could make me go limp.....despite Emilies wishes. I was in no mood to have sex....even though it didn't seem like it.
So my friend started naming off all this crapp he had.....balhh blahh blahh.....then I heard one that I knew for a fact it would make me go limp because I can't have sex while on it....it makes me impotent.
I take two of the other substance. Normally it takes about 15-20 minutes to kick in....... well......about an hour later i was train wrecked to the 10th power.....my boner was still going strong and unstoppable....my plan had failed.
Worst of all i had this damn good looking girl on me and I didn't want any sex now. The substance i took killed my drive for wanting booty....yet didn't stop the boner. It was a lose lose situation......instead of sex I took her to the master bedroom and passed out at 10am saturday morning.....thats what I remember. My friends disagree.....for some reason they think Emily tried to help me. I don't recall that......
Since friday night was so bad..... and Emily seemed to be bitchy the next day..... we decided not to hang out with the chicks saturday night.....
I need to get out more. 
Linear Mode
