De-Activates who maintain their member privileges

QT Pie · #1 11-02-2002, 02:56 AM

As far as I am concerned, when a member deactivates, this means that she is no longer supposed to attend any of the sisters-only sorority events, right? My friend and I are discussing this girl who de-activated from her sorority, but she still attends formals and some of the house get-togethers because she got along really well with some of the actives who happen to be in charge of these events. Is this something that should be reported to the nationals? I don't want to sound like a party pooper, but I don't think it's fair that there are the girls who de-activate and are shunned and prohibited from coming back to do anything with the chapter, and then there are some girls who still hang out as if they never left the sorority. Except they just don't have to pay their membership dues or attend the regular meetings. I was wondering what everyone else's opinion is.

DeltaBetaBaby · #2 11-02-2002, 09:22 AM

You are absolutely right on this one. These girls should NOT be at your events. I am not really sure that talking to HQ is the way to go, though, this may be better solved internally. Is the president involved in this? I think the best thing is to talk to an officer or chapter advisor who is not friends with these girls.

Kevin · #3 11-02-2002, 09:56 AM

There are various reasons to deactivate... If it was over dues then if they don't want to pay their fair share then ban them from events until they reactivate (if you can do that). It's not fair to the people that area still active and it's very selfish on these girls' parts to do this.

crystalline · #4 11-02-2002, 11:01 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by QT Pie
As far as I am concerned, when a member deactivates, this means that she is no longer supposed to attend any of the sisters-only sorority events, right? My friend and I are discussing this girl who de-activated from her sorority, but she still attends formals and some of the house get-togethers because she got along really well with some of the actives who happen to be in charge of these events.

You said "her" sorority, so I was wondering if she is in your sorority or another one? If she is in your sorority, there may be something you can do to change the situation. However, if she isn't in your sorority, and the circumstances are sitting fine with the people in her sorority, I don't really see what much a member can do to change it. It sounds like a bunch of crap to me, and I know if a girl from my sorority was trying to get away with that, I'd have my say in the matter. It's not fair to the rest who do their part.

LeslieAGD · #5 11-02-2002, 01:04 PM

I'm not saying that these deaffiliated members cannot remain friends with the sisters in the house, but I believe QT Pie definitely has a point. These people are doing none of the work, putting in none of the money and time, and still getting to benefit from the chapter.

33girl · #6 11-02-2002, 01:48 PM

I know that there was a sorority on my campus that had very stringent policies, handed down by their nationals, that said they had to terminate anyone who didn't pay their dues (I don't think they had any sort of special status - they were either active or terminated). One of my friends was terminated from the house and still hung out with the sisters, went to the house, etc - I got the feeling that the sisters thought it was BS they had to terminate her. So if it's not your sorority, I would not worry about it - it's their issue to work out.

madmax · #7 11-02-2002, 01:51 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by QT Pie
As far as I am concerned, when a member deactivates, this means that she is no longer supposed to attend any of the sisters-only sorority events, right? My friend and I are discussing this girl who de-activated from her sorority, but she still attends formals and some of the house get-togethers because she got along really well with some of the actives who happen to be in charge of these events. Is this something that should be reported to the nationals? I don't want to sound like a party pooper, but I don't think it's fair that there are the girls who de-activate and are shunned and prohibited from coming back to do anything with the chapter, and then there are some girls who still hang out as if they never left the sorority. Except they just don't have to pay their membership dues or attend the regular meetings. I was wondering what everyone else's opinion is.

Is this even your sorority?

If it's not, then mind your own business.

astroAPhi · #8 11-02-2002, 02:38 PM

You'll have to define "de-active", because it can mean a lot of things.

We have alumni (girls who have graduated, are fifth-year seniors, or have stopped attending our school and go to other local schools) who come out to many events and meetings, except for mixers and our formal (because of insurance issues). I don't see a problem with that. These girls have put their time in with our organization and we still enjoy seeing them. They pay dues to our national board, but not us. I don't feel that they're mooching off of us.

I'm an Associate member this semester, which means I only pay national dues. I'm not supposed to come to mixers either, and I don't, unless I pay extra for them. But I will be a completely active sister next semester. I still attend most regular functions though.

If someone did something like, quit the sorority, then I wouldn't know why the heck they would still hang out with the group. I mean, if I ever quit, sure, there are some girls I would stay good friends with, but I can hang out with them outside of sorority functions. I would think if you quit an organization it would be because of some sort of social/personal conflict, or that you felt your organization wasn't living up to its beliefs, and in that case you wouldn't want to be around those people... am I making sense here?

crystalline · #9 11-02-2002, 05:39 PM

Since I've been a member of my sorority, there has been quite a few women who have chosen to leave. As a general rule, they don' t have much to do with us (not that we want it to be that way though).

alphaiota · #10 11-02-2002, 05:53 PM

i know for my sorority, if you deactivated (meaning you decided to no longer affiliate yourself with our sorority) then you were not allowed to attend any mixers, formals, anything.

as astroaphi stated, insurance issues come into play when you have non members attending events.

technically if you are alum. then you aren't suppose to attend social events for actives, but nobody cares. we'd rather have them come then people who deactivated.

we had a few sisters deactivate not long ago and they were "invited" to attend one of our socials by an active members. it caused a huge problem. nobody, except the sisters who invited them, wanted them there. a couple of sisters invited them as their dates to our social. regardless of if we wanted them there or not, we had to let them in b/c they were dates of the sisters.

but like others have said, if this isn't your sorority, stay out of it. other glo's have other rules.

shelley j
sigma k

KappaTarzan · #11 11-02-2002, 06:33 PM

within our sorority we positively love to see aumni out and visiting us philanthropies, mixers, rushes, and other social events... they are definitely invited to our 3 yearly conventions, as well.. our formal is open to them, and we usually have more alumni than actives there!

Optimist Prime · #12 11-03-2002, 12:25 AM

Is she in your sorority? If not, I think it would be best to just mind your own business.

Tom Earp · #13 11-03-2002, 12:53 AM

If theyb are deactivated for any reason, especially payments of money, then should be out!@

Why, because, if they are stilll hanging out with the Chapter, they are getting the benefits but not paying which means!?????????

It cost each member in goodstanding that much more to do something or Pay The Damn Bills!

Get It?

Kevin · #14 11-03-2002, 12:58 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Optimist Prime
Is she in your sorority? If not, I think it would be best to just mind your own business.

I think it's a valid question because people in the thread's originator's sorority (or the orginator herself) may be considering the same course of action within their sorority.

Really though, every group has its own bylaws. I think the idea of remaining active while not paying dues (and being a matriculate at that school) is offensive. It's simply unfair that you're not paying your fair share.

Glitter650 · #15 11-03-2002, 01:01 AM

I agree she shouldn't be attending everything if she's deactivated... I mean yeah, you don't want the whole chapter to shun the girl and not hang out with her because she disaffiliated so yeah hang out, invite her out shopping... or out to dinner with a grup of sisters or to see a movie or whatever with her but she shouldn't be attending member activities like the formal...